Repost: So I've Never Had Physical Contact Before...?

[McFlabbergasty]

I was told that Advice would be a better place for a topic like this than Off-Topic, so here it is.

I am in my second year of commuting to college and I still am just as much of a virgin as the day I was born. I have always had next to no self-confidence at all, meaning few if any friends. All throughout high school I would think "this is the year I'll have my first kiss with a girl" or "my first relationship" or whatever. I don't understand how everyone else around has such an easy time finding partners. I feel like I've skipped the whole teenager phase of my life and just became a dead-behind-the-eyes old man with regards to this whole love thing.

I tried to ask a girl out in my sophomore year of high school. She said yes, but then nothing came out of it because she kept making excuses to delay the date. We hardly even knew each other. Ever since then I have stopped trying. But I want to ask a girl out again some day.

I'm just sick of this cycle of self-pity and loneliness and depression. I want to experience what relationships are like. Right now I feel so disconnected from the rest of humanity that I actually feel happy when I see or hear about other people breaking up from their relationships. I for one don't see myself as being distraught over a break-up, if I ever get to have one.

 

[Zoe Castillo]

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[Limecake]

But most importantly, you can't experience a healthy relationship if you have issuses with yourself, break down that wall and the other one will suddenly seem like a far smaller hurdle.

so much this, I've always been a subscriber to the belief you can't be happy with anyone else until your happy by yourself.

The thing is that relationships are a partnership, if some girl doesn't want to be in a relationship with you then just move on. every time I've met a girl I've gone out with I've met her completely randomly. Being rejected sucks (it does) but you are your own person and if they aren't interested then forget about them it really isn't worth getting worked up about.

I'd also like to point out that you definitely don't want to be a doormat for women. the girl you mentioned in high school kept making excuses to delay the date? you should have called her out on it, just because she was too insecure to tell you no doesn't give people the right to play with your emotions.

And remember that these girls your asking out aren't the end all be all of women. I've gone out with a few girls only to break up with them when I realize we share nothing in common. More often than not these girls are probably just as insecure as anyone else.

so it isn't so much talking to girls that's the problem, but self-confidence.