Respect

[NoNameMcgee]

What are your thoughts on respect? Do you think certain people command respect automatically, whether you know them or not? Or does everyone have to earn it individually from you?

I was thinking about this today because people have told me elderly people command respect right off the bat simply because they have lived longer and experienced a lot. I disagree, there are plenty of old people who are not worthy of my respect because they are bigotted, rude, or otherwise insufferable.

I've also been told all my life that people in authority demand respect, teachers for example or policeman, again I disagree. I definitely respect what they do; but their methods for doing so, and their personality, are completely different issues really. I like to judge everyone individually based on who they are as a person before I come to respect them, and I would like to think everyone has the same philosophy when judging me too, because i'm not a hypocrite.

This doesn't mean that I am not polite to people, this isnt some misanthropic whine, I am a very friendly and sociable person who gets along with most, and is always starting conversations with new people. So it's not that. It's simply that politeness and respect are two seperate entities; respect implies I grant them an esteem of some kind, and that definitely has to be earned beyond basic politeness.

 

[Snork Maiden]

I was thinking about this today because people have told me elderly people command respect right off the bat simply because they have lived longer and experienced a lot. I disagree, there are plenty of old people who are not worthy of my respect because they are bigotted, rude, or otherwise insufferable.

Depends what you mean by respect. In the case of old people I tend to respect them by acting differently near them than I would otherwise - perhaps toning down aspects of my personality that I assume would (rightly or wrongly) probably cause offence to the older generation, although maybe I'm crossing the line between respect and courtesy. I absolutely agree that there are plenty of older people who are rude and insufferable, but I generally find it better to let people lose my respect than make them work to gain it. Same for teachers and policemen, really.

Of course if we're talking about respect as in "I seek out their advice and always take it to heart" then it's a whole different issue.

 

[x EvilErmine x]

Respect is earned not given.

Also

Capatca : perverfo telc <- wtf? :-/

 

[Jordi]

I find that people tend to have different ways of thinking about respect. People who ask for (more) respect often mean that you should obey them or submit to them in some way. I treat people with respect, but I'm not going to do what they say based on how old they are.

I judge everybody individually (or I try to). If I know someone really accomplished something impressive, I might respect them a little bit more, but most of it is going to have to come from how they behave when talking to me. If you are a professor, but you're making no sense, then the initial respect I had for you is quickly going to go away. I always try to look at the quality in a person that I'm supposed to respect, rather than the thing that is supposed to indicate it.

For instance, a professor is respected because he is supposed to be smart, but if I find out that that is not the case, I will not respect him nearly as much as a construction worker who makes a more intelligent impression. I think old people want to be respected because they supposedly have gained a lot of wisdom, but if I see any indicators to the contrary I'm not going to respect them for that. I also think that living long is just about the least impressive thing someone can accomplish in this day and age.

 

[awmperry]

For me, everyone gets a certain baseline level of respect, and their behaviour then determines how it is modified. For instance, I'm very much of the "respect your elders" school, but a pensioner who behaves rudely or inconsiderately doesn't get a free pass because of their age.

So yes, some people do get more respect from me by default - but anyone can either lose or gain my respect by their actions.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

Or perhaps everyone could start from a position of mutual mid-level respect ie. utilising good manners, always giving someone a chance to show you what they're like, and acknowledging that they may have something to contribute to any disucssion?

Nah, I'm just kidding.

Please note: I am not saying that the OP does this, what I am saying is that just as it is wrong to assume automatically that an older person or authority figure deserves respect, it is equally as wrong to start from a position of no respect. There should be a basic level of human decency that people adhere too, manners, giving people a forum etc. which as I see it is what the real problem is.

If you claim that people have to earn your respect, at least meet them with the respect you'd expect out of them. Too often I see people (usually young people) who say they don't see why they should respect a teacher who hasn't earned it, when they have done nothing to earn the respect in return.

Respect is shared, must be earned, and must be mutual. Your teachers will know more than you on a lot of topics that you need to learn, otherwise Primary School students could take their A Levels and get As, and that means you have to respect them and the knowledge they have spent time gaining. If they are good teachers, they will respect you in return for being a diligent student. This is what respect is, not some sort of test that people have to go through in order to prove themselves 'worthy' of interaction with you.

Equally, the older generation has lived longer, and therefore seen more, and therefore will have insights into the world that a younger person will not. This does not preclude the younger person from having valid insights into the world, but neither are necessarily better or worse than the other. I can have all of the 'young man shouting in the streets' passion and fury against the Conservatives that I want, but the truth of the matter is that my parents lived through the Thatcher government as adults. My insight is different from theirs because it is untainted by personal experience, learned second hand through history books and recollections. Theirs is an insight gained from having lived it. The validity of one does not remove the validity of the other.

All people deserve respect until proven otherwise, and saying that you shouldn't respect someone just because they are old is just as bad as saying you should respect someone just because they're old. Two sides of the same coin.

 

[rokkolpo]

Everyone gets 5 points to start with. (could be more/less depending on clothing)

But it's on them if they want to climb to 10, or fall to 1.

 

[SwimmingRock]

I've also been told all my life that people in authority demand respect, teachers for example or policeman, again I disagree.

See, this is where it all went wrong in my life. I realized at age 10 with an IQ of 141 that I was genuinely smarter than my teacher that grade. Once I realize that people in positions above my own are bloody idiots, I lose respect for them. However, until they show themselves to be wholly incompetent, I try to be respectfull. Particularly, I will respect a police officer, because I respect the law (mostly anyway).

Really, it comes down to the person and the reason why I should respect them. As you mentioned, old people aren't necessarily better in some way, but quite a few of them have earned my respect for the world they built for us. But that doesn't mean they get a free pass on being assholes any more than young people.

For what it's worth, I try to be respectfull towards others. I just don't really like most people, so it's hard sometimes.

 

[Scabadus]

I try to judge every person on their own merits, but sometimes you have to give people the benifit of the doubt and trust that they deserve respect because they're in a position of authority or are more experianced than you. After all, somebody who's worked their way up to a high rank in the police force or military is likely to deserve trust and respect.

And some people do have a natural charisma that commands respect without them actually having to earn it, but if their actions don't meet up to what their words promise then these people can loose respect very quickly.

 

[Jedoro]

I treat everyone professionally, i.e. like a human fucking being. Professionalism and common courtesy are for everyone, but respect and the lack thereof are to be earned. We both treat each other well, or we treat each other like shit, but I start out professional.

Captcha: for nviga

This is my new battlecry.

 

[shadyh8er]

Capatca : perverfo telc <- wtf? :-/

Clearly it's trying to teach you Latin.

OT: You can't "demand" respect. You gotta work for it.

 

[StBishop]

Respect is a right. It should be given to everyone until they do something to lose it.

The fact that no one thinks this way is part of the problem with today's youth.

 

[SomethingUnrelated]

Respect is something you earn. I hate it when people demand respect from me when they haven't done shit to deserve it, from my perspective.

 

[NoNameMcgee]

Edited my OP for some clarity. Will reply to some posts properly tomorrow.

 

[Joccaren]

I tend to meet others half way. I will give everyone a certain, basic level of respect, that most adults would probably just consider common courtesy (but which the majority of my generation that I know don't really care about unless their the ones being disrespected) and make every individual earn my respect.
If the are polite, well mannered, show respect for others and do not try to annoy me or harm me, they will generally become more respected then me. Those that straight out ask if I want to be friends with them, gain a massive boost in respect as my answer is usually 'yes', and I would not disrespect my friends.
If people are rude and obscene, show no respect for others, or try to annoy or harm me in a non-jesting way, the almost instantly lose all respect that I might have had for them. I will still be polite towards them unless provoked, but I will otherwise act as if they did not exist. Thus explaining why I speak to very few people in my school.

A lot of old people fall into the earlier category, and earn my respect quickly. Others however, mostly the ones who expect to be let off a bus first because they're old and slow and will not hesitate to point it out, will very quickly lose my respect and I will do as I explained above.

Teachers and police officers I respect as much as anyone else, and the same rules above apply to them as much as anyone else in the world. At my primary school, the teachers there quickly found out I was as intelligent, and often had a greater general knowledge, compared with themselves, and tended to take what I said when I corrected them, or when I bought up a random fact, as being true. It always was true. They had my respect. Teachers that hold back the more intelligent members of the class and stop them from reading ahead, doing their work earlier and other generally counter-productive acts tend to lose my respect, as I am paying around 20k a year to go to a good school and learn, not be held back with the slow kids for no apparent reason.
Police I will always respect, and generally to a slightly higher degree when they are on-duty (for obvious reasons) unless they are arrogant or rude, in which case the lose all respect from me.

From me, respect must not only be earned, but maintained, and that is the way I feel it should be.

 

[Antari]

Respect is earned. Until they command respect through their actions, they might as well be an ape in a cage to me.

 

[StBishop]

I've also been told all my life that people in authority demand respect, teachers for example or policeman, again I disagree.

See, this is where it all went wrong in my life. I realized at age 10 with an IQ of 141 that I was genuinely smarter than my teacher that grade. Once I realize that people in positions above my own are bloody idiots, I lose respect for them. However, until they show themselves to be wholly incompetent, I try to be respectfull. Particularly, I will respect a police officer, because I respect the law (mostly anyway).

Really, it comes down to the person and the reason why I should respect them. As you mentioned, old people aren't necessarily better in some way, but quite a few of them have earned my respect for the world they built for us. But that doesn't mean they get a free pass on being assholes any more than young people.

For what it's worth, I try to be respectfull towards others. I just don't really like most people, so it's hard sometimes.

The only problem with that is, people with a high IQ can actually be incredibly stupid, in that that make bad (see; unfruitful, high risk low/no reward) decisions and have poor judgement.

I know a guy with a high IQ who's done absolutely nothing with his life aside from accrue large debts from friends and alienate family and read a metric fuck tonne of novels.
I also know people with pretty average IQ's (around, just over or just under 100) who've managed to get into, and be successful in university, who're likely to go on to achieve gainful employment and make a contribution to society.

Being intelligent is not nearly as important as you (or I) would like it to be.

 

[teisjm]

A person who have been an asshole for 60 years earns as little respect as a person whos been an asshole for 20.

If some asshole is wearing a badge he gets no more respect for wearing it, of course he has authority, but submitting to authority does not equal respecting them.

I think people have very different ideas of what respect means.
Some people think of respect as people treting them like a baws, doing what they say and acting like they want them to act.
This is IMO stupid, cause i wouldn't give a shit about someone who didn't respect me equally, and therefor, noone can be someone elses boss, unless we're talking bout people with actual authority. Your trainer/coach/sensei/teacher has authority, cause you're there to learn from them, which means they're right by default to some degree. Your boss has authority cause you him for him/her etc.
But if one of your friends or your significant other thikns they're in charge, they're basicly telling you your oppinion doesn't matter, and you should just act how they like you to, for their sake. Thats not mutual respect, so they can fuck right off.

Some people just sees respect as a form of courtesy, where you respect others right to be different from you and have different interrests/oppinions, and might hold back stuff that'll offend them, or that they'll dislike, cause it matters more to you to keep them happy than to pop that dead baby joke.