Prometheus... a smart name. The name of a titan who fashioned humans from his own form but ultimately suffers because of it. This may lead you to believe its a smart film. Its not. It thinks it is, but its not. This movie is a classic example of visual effects put over the plot and characters. To put it bluntly I don't like Prometheus. It's not an awful movie, but it is grossly overrated. Its not a big problem I have with the movie and its got some good elements to it, its just got lots of little problems that add up to a bad movie.
I would normally talk about the plot about now but the problem is this is a survivalist movie so the plot for these is always fairly insubstantial. Basically a rag tag team of scientists with varied ethnic backgrounds are taken on an interstellar voyage because they they found some cave painting that points to intelligent alien life that they found in Scotland. They find evidence of this life but are now thrust into a dangerous situation. I grew up in Scotland. I'm Scottish myself and let me preference this by saying Scottish people are all twats. Drawing cave painting to fuck with scientist hundreds of years later is exactly the kind of thing me and my mates would have done. So the plot is shit, but plot is not really what made Alien films good. I mean I like a good plot but the first films plot was basically: Aliens gets on a ship and systematically kills everyone off. So I wasn't watching for a good plot. People watch aliens films for ALIENS! oh well you're shit outta luck too. The alien (that everyone wanted to see) makes one appearance and it literally doesn't need to be there. Its really just for fan service. Something else that pissed me off was that Prometheus is a prequel to Alien but everything looks newer. I really wish they had kept with the grungy, 80's, sci-fi theme where people thought that pixels the size of a doll head were perfectly fine and never thought to move past that resolution. I liked that style, sure it might not have aged that well but these days people would just call it stylised. This just makes the original Alien age even worse. You have to wonder at what point in time people thought "Fuck holograms lets go back to 8bit!"
A major problems with Prometheus is badly written characters. Something I've noticed in aliens films (the first 2 because 3 and 4 don't count) is that they only ever really have one well written character, and this trend continues here. In 'Alien' Ripley is one of the few strong female characters in cinema that don't get on my tits like a bad case of herpes, because she had depth, sure she was brave and strong willed but she looked out for herself at times and felt like a real person in a life or death situation. In 'Aliens' Bill Paxton (Pvt Hudson) was the star because his cocky nature was quickly crushed into a bubbling wreck. I would not like to praise 'Aliens' too much as it did have Jenette Goldstein (Pvt Vasquez) a character emitting so much penis envy you could power Switzerland if you could harness it. I would like to get this out the way and say that Michael Fassbender's character (David the android) was a very well acted and equally well written character with twitches of emotion. But every other character sucked more then the biggest whore in hoover town. The first characters death (A generically handsome white american with short brown hair, really pushing boundaries there Hollywood) is meant to be a climactic telling of things to come, but no. I didn't care, mainly because he was better looking than me, but also because I didn't know anything about him. Also he was a dick to Michael Fassbender, the only well written character in this ship wreck. I would like to ask what the hell accent was Noomi Rapace (Shaw) going for. It jumped about more than a grass hopper on speed. I don't know why people don't do this already but for Christ sake cast people from the ethnic background your character is from. There are lots of great actors from lots of different countries and it stops cunts like me calling you out when the actor doesn't hold up. (This is not always true, see Andrew Lincoln on how to do it right)
Something else I didn't like about the film was the open endedness (shut up its a word now) of it. I like opened ended films that leave a lot up to interpretation, see Donnie Darko on how to manage that. But characters in this do things for no reason. In this aspect films are like a colouring book. Most films hand you one and look at that its all filled in for you. Good films hand you an empty book but some pens so that it leaves it up to you but steers you in the right direction. Bad films hand you a colouring book and go. "You want pens HAHA! You have to get those colours yourself!" so you have a look, but you can't find anything so the only way to get brown is to shit on the book. So all you get left with is a shitty colouring book. So Prometheus has a few good points, but you have to flick through a lot of shit to get to it.
Cinematography was good though... Also that abortion scene was pretty fucked up.
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I would normally talk about the plot about now but the problem is this is a survivalist movie so the plot for these is always fairly insubstantial. Basically a rag tag team of scientists with varied ethnic backgrounds are taken on an interstellar voyage because they they found some cave painting that points to intelligent alien life that they found in Scotland. They find evidence of this life but are now thrust into a dangerous situation. I grew up in Scotland. I'm Scottish myself and let me preference this by saying Scottish people are all twats. Drawing cave painting to fuck with scientist hundreds of years later is exactly the kind of thing me and my mates would have done. So the plot is shit, but plot is not really what made Alien films good. I mean I like a good plot but the first films plot was basically: Aliens gets on a ship and systematically kills everyone off. So I wasn't watching for a good plot. People watch aliens films for ALIENS! oh well you're shit outta luck too. The alien (that everyone wanted to see) makes one appearance and it literally doesn't need to be there. Its really just for fan service. Something else that pissed me off was that Prometheus is a prequel to Alien but everything looks newer. I really wish they had kept with the grungy, 80's, sci-fi theme where people thought that pixels the size of a doll head were perfectly fine and never thought to move past that resolution. I liked that style, sure it might not have aged that well but these days people would just call it stylised. This just makes the original Alien age even worse. You have to wonder at what point in time people thought "Fuck holograms lets go back to 8bit!"
A major problems with Prometheus is badly written characters. Something I've noticed in aliens films (the first 2 because 3 and 4 don't count) is that they only ever really have one well written character, and this trend continues here. In 'Alien' Ripley is one of the few strong female characters in cinema that don't get on my tits like a bad case of herpes, because she had depth, sure she was brave and strong willed but she looked out for herself at times and felt like a real person in a life or death situation. In 'Aliens' Bill Paxton (Pvt Hudson) was the star because his cocky nature was quickly crushed into a bubbling wreck. I would not like to praise 'Aliens' too much as it did have Jenette Goldstein (Pvt Vasquez) a character emitting so much penis envy you could power Switzerland if you could harness it. I would like to get this out the way and say that Michael Fassbender's character (David the android) was a very well acted and equally well written character with twitches of emotion. But every other character sucked more then the biggest whore in hoover town. The first characters death (A generically handsome white american with short brown hair, really pushing boundaries there Hollywood) is meant to be a climactic telling of things to come, but no. I didn't care, mainly because he was better looking than me, but also because I didn't know anything about him. Also he was a dick to Michael Fassbender, the only well written character in this ship wreck. I would like to ask what the hell accent was Noomi Rapace (Shaw) going for. It jumped about more than a grass hopper on speed. I don't know why people don't do this already but for Christ sake cast people from the ethnic background your character is from. There are lots of great actors from lots of different countries and it stops cunts like me calling you out when the actor doesn't hold up. (This is not always true, see Andrew Lincoln on how to do it right)
Something else I didn't like about the film was the open endedness (shut up its a word now) of it. I like opened ended films that leave a lot up to interpretation, see Donnie Darko on how to manage that. But characters in this do things for no reason. In this aspect films are like a colouring book. Most films hand you one and look at that its all filled in for you. Good films hand you an empty book but some pens so that it leaves it up to you but steers you in the right direction. Bad films hand you a colouring book and go. "You want pens HAHA! You have to get those colours yourself!" so you have a look, but you can't find anything so the only way to get brown is to shit on the book. So all you get left with is a shitty colouring book. So Prometheus has a few good points, but you have to flick through a lot of shit to get to it.
Cinematography was good though... Also that abortion scene was pretty fucked up.
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