[HEADING=2]Get ready for anti-Semitic raptors and drink up the madness in[/HEADING]
[HEADING=1]Time Gentlemen, Please![/HEADING]
[HEADING=1]Time Gentlemen, Please![/HEADING]
I just got a sex-education clown to blow a used condom into the shape of AIDs. I've got no idea what it'll eventually be used for, but it makes the common adventure game tactic of gleefully rubbing my new item against everything in my inventory just a little bit weirder. Then again, I've really got no business being surprised by this, having already dealt with necrophiliac rats, goose-stepping Nazi-dinosaurs and a discussion on whether Star Wars made incest culturally acceptable or not.
If you haven't already guessed, I love this game.
I didn't even know we had Magnum, P.I in Britain
The latest release from the tiny (and extremely British) Zombie Cow Studios, Time Gentlemen, Please! is a classic point-and-click adventure game in the style that has been on-again-off-again popular since the eighties. Created in the freeware Adventure Game Studio, it's not the prettiest game in the world, but the art does the job it needs to and after a few minutes the graphics all but fade away as you're taken in by the important things - the writing and the oldest of old-school puzzling.
For the most part the puzzles are excellent, rarely falling into the staid 'find red maguffin to open red door/chest/miniature-clockwork-parrot' territory. Instead you will find yourself having to think much more laterally, often taking intelligent advantage of the time-travel aspects of the plot to make various utterly insane things happen. At times you can't help but break into a slack-jawed grin when you realise 'Oh, that's what I need to do. But... but that's insane, no way can it be that!' But it is, constantly and almost always brilliantly.
The downside of this is that whilst the madness inherent to the puzzles makes them fun, it occasionally ups the difficulty to almost super-human levels. Maybe I'm a bit out of practice when it comes to adventure games, but there is nothing more frustrating than running into a brick wall that can only solved by all-but random clicking. It doesn't happen that often, but every time it was hard not to but feel like some of the gameplay had been sacrificed for the sake of relatively cheap comedy.
See that? That's Hitler. In a Mech. Yeah. I know.
On the subject of comedy, this is where TGP! really excels, assuming your sense of humour is as black and twisted as the remains of your heart. If you're put off by tearing off a skeleton's arm and coating it in 'Hitler's blood & stool' or tarting up a dead mouse for it's post-mortal rape, this game probably isn't for you. Also, if you were foolish enough not to grow up in 1980's Britain, some of the more obscure references may sail straight over your head (though this has apparently been toned down from the previous game, 'Ben There, Dan That') but there aren't really enough of these to persuade you to not play.
For the rest of us craven and twisted souls, the sheer hit rate of consistently funny jokes is amazing. Almost every action you can do will pop out a line that is either hilarious, or the set-up for something hilarious. Even attempting to combine random items in your inventory will, nine times in ten, have a joke written specifically for that combination. Sheer statistics means that some of these lines fall wide of the mark, but it would be an achievement if even half of these were funny, let alone most of them.
There are mystical pyramids, so it's the future. Got it?
Analysing or even trying to comprehend the plot without the humorous reference points is all but impossible and sounds like a madman's dazed scrawlings. Roughly, our protagonists Ben & Dan have accidentally wiped out the population of Earth via the twin mechanisms of Brainwashing and a Magnum P.I. Marathon. They blame this on a coathanger and abuse their time machine in an attempt to erase them (coathangers) from history. This somehow results in Hitler raising a dinosaur army and conquering the world (except for Canada) in a mecha-suit. Ben and Dan decide the best way to solve this madness is obvious - more time-travel! If you're looking for deep characterisation and meaning you'd best look elsewhere, this is all about the laughs and is all the better for it.
There is another point in TGP!'s favour, it's really cheap. This isn't really something that should be taken into account when reviewing a game, but that can probably be waived when it's only the price of a pint and comes with another game (Ben There, Dan That) free. If you have fond memories of happily playing away at Monkey Island in your youth and have since gotten more than a little bit twisted, have a crack at TGP, you won't regret it.
Just beware of sex-clowns. They aren't dangerous, just really creepy.
[HEADING=1]Buy it[/HEADING]
