Serial Killer Round 37: The Special Holiday Edition (Get those votes in.)

[ShindoL Shill]

@staika the thing is *begins shaving nose hair with the razor (seriously do not ask, you'll get scared)* some of my regular clientèle like the older Latvian stuff... and i do not want to piss them off. one of them used to be a secretary for a company that makes the screws for the company that screws the fins onto missiles.

@Mort if you want a quick cut, we have night nurse, vodka and a rusty katana.

 

[staika]

@Trilby: Hmm that's very interesting...
*Suddenly realizes something blatantly obvious*
Oh my god........ I forgot to ask if you took credit cards.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

@staika i take them for 6 weeks and give them a full shine and give them a new PIN, and get rid of all the old dusty money. make space for the new stuff! like Latvian pornography. *moves down to your chest. you lose a nipple*

 

[staika]

@Trilby: *Checks wallet and notices that it's empty*
'I must find a way to get out of paying...' I thought to myself
ZOMG IT'S BATMAN!!
*points at the wall*

 

[ShindoL Shill]

@staika Yeah i met him last year. nice bloke. gave him a lozenge. he kapowed it. he also gave me the sharpie i used to write my license to do this stuff. the world of barber-shoppery is full of a lot of red tape.
*points to a green square with the words 'TrilbyWill, licensed organ donation surgeon. all body parts are forfeit upon entry. organs can be used as alternative payment.'*
see!

 

[staika]

@Trilby: Oh that's good, now I can pay
*Goes back to reading out of date magazine*

 

[ShindoL Shill]

@staika Now? people pay thousands for nipples and earlobes. did you think i was being clumsy? MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!
here's your change... one, two, three, four... Lvr4826.95.
by the way, there's a reason we only stock porn. that money is basically glorified paper towels. unless you have some sort of Time and Relative Dimension in Space... machine.

 

[staika]

@Trilby: Space machine? I guess I'll just take you at face value since I am not good at understanding complicated things....

 

[Tortilla the Hun]

@Trilby: [HeavyRussianaccent]Bring me vodka and katana, I do shave myself. Save me nurse for later.[/HeavyRussianaccent]

 

[Tortilla the Hun]

@Trilby: [HeavyRussianaccent]Bring me vodka and katana, I do shave myself. Save me nurse for later.[/HeavyRussianaccent]

 

[ShindoL Shill]

@staika well thats good. my face has been valued at £50.37
now, since we'll be in this box until one of us gets murdered or executed, we may as well make the most of it!
*roots around in a chest marked 'Sexual Toys for the Whole Family Over the Legal Age of Consent' and pulls out two dark, suspicious-looking objects*
do you prefer Pokemon Red or Green? or sodomy?

@Mort well... that is the whole point of the self-service station. be sure to unhook the plane battery or else it will lose charge, then Boeing might sue again.

 

[Tortilla the Hun]

@Trilby: Will do.

*pokes air holes in the box*

You'll need those...

*cough*

 

[axle 19]

Our sneaky killer has struck. Check your inboxes people.

 

[CounterAttack]

No PMs on my end... I guess the dice weren't in my favour.

 

[TheIronRuler]

Still alive.
Oh, any brits here? I began watching Frankie Boyle and his disgusting humor is hilarious.
.
"My last flat was just like Friends! Did you see that one where Joe kills everybody?"
.
"If you don't think I'm a nosy bastard, why did you write that n your diary?"

 

[NeoAC]

Still alive.
Oh, any brits here? I began watching Frankie Boyle and his disgusting humor is hilarious.
.
"My last flat was just like Friends! Did you see that one where Joe kills everybody?"
.
"If you don't think I'm a nosy bastard, why did you write that n your diary?"

You missed this one.

"I don't see why I should have to pay for loo roll when I never use any!"

 

[Tortilla the Hun]

Not dead yet...so far so good. ^^

 

[TheIronRuler]

A nice joke here -
"This is a traditional Greek restaurant, so don't worry if you can't pay - the German government will cover it"

 

[SkyeNeko]

Spoiler: DAMN YOU KILLERRRRRR

I was watching tv.

The door opened.

I was trying to sleep.

There was someone standing beside the bed.

I couldn't breathe.

Pillows have a lot of air.

I can't breathe.
My lungs are burning.

Wrapped in the sheets and thrown out.

I can't breathe.

A shadow walked away. Blank eyes stare lifelessly into nothing.

I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.

Also, I was double voter. *sigh*

 

[axle 19]

[HEADING=2]So our double voter is the killers first victim.[/HEADING][HEADING=2]Get those votes in.[/HEADING]​