Severely Mis-named Movies

[cojo965]

So there is a movie I remember seeing once, Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent. What does that title say? Well I'll tell you what it didn't have: a fucking serpent. This thing to my memory was in the movie so little that I can't even remember what the plot was about or what it looked like. Do you guys have anything like that?

Edit: So I skimmed the movie again today. Yes, the serpent turns up more than I remember, but still does copious amounts of nothing of importance.

 

[Flutterguy]

Shrooms. I expected a semi accurate portrayal of tripping on mushrooms or at least drug culture. Instead it was a 90 minute version of that scene from Freddy vs Jason where the stoner sees an evil caterpillar.

 

[Queen Michael]

"Them!" See, in Swedish, this classic horror movie about giant ants was called "Spindlarna," "The Spiders."

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Clash of the Titans: there's not a single fucking Titan in the movie. Followed by Wrath of the Titans, where we get one (1) Titan, though there's still no need for pluralizing the word.

 

[Ubiquitous Duck]

Good Will Hunting struck me as quite a weird name for that film.

I know that the character in it is called Will Hunting, but that just makes the title make no sense.

Another is The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia - where the entirety of the film takes place in Wyoming...

 

[Cooperblack]

Star Wars.

No fucking stars went to war in that movie!

 

[Silvanus]

Clash of the Titans: there's not a single fucking Titan in the movie. Followed by Wrath of the Titans, where we get one (1) Titan, though there's still no need for pluralizing the word.

Thank you. Thank you for making that distinction. I'm not being facetious, I'm a stickler for mythological accuracy (for some reason).


OT: "The Happening". If we use the utterly mundane meaning of the term, then it's accurate, but the same could be said of watching grass grow. In the title of a movie, it implies notable or interesting happenings, and those don't occur in the movie.

 

[BraveSirRobin]

The most obvious one would be Troll 2. Not only was it not a sequel to Troll 1, but there were no actual trolls in the movie. The entire antagonists of the movie were god damn goblins. That said that movie was hilarious.

 

[Not Lord Atkin]

The amazing Spider-man. Not all that amazing at all.

There are also these 3 Czech films the names of which loosely translate to "How to pull out a whale's tooth", "How to get your dad into a correctional facility" and "How to tame crocodiles". All the films are comedies about a kid growing up in a broken family. There are no exotic animals involved (unless you count this guy who perplexingly played a part in the last film: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45iGyN4PSAs)

 

[Thaluikhain]

Star Wars.

No fucking stars went to war in that movie!

Eh, some of the actors were pretty well established...

Oh, the Neverending Story.

Also, Labyrinth. It's a maze, they aren't the same thing.

 

[Dragonlayer]

I was literally just making this point to my dad but there's a film that keeps catching my eye because the title Dead Europe evokes ideas of a Nazi zombie apocalypse thriller. That title gets me every single time and every single time I facepalm because I keep forgetting that it's about some family reconnecting as they take a dead relative's ashes back to their home country, or something.

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

The Raid 2: Not any kind of raid there at all. Not the police kind, nor the ant poison kind. Doesn't make the movie any less awesome though.

End of Evangelion: IT WASN'T!!!!!!

 

[theboombody]

"Olympus Has Fallen" should have been called, "Thank you Mike!"

 

[Ieyke]

Clash of the Titans: there's not a single fucking Titan in the movie. Followed by Wrath of the Titans, where we get one (1) Titan, though there's still no need for pluralizing the word.

Thank you. Thank you for making that distinction. I'm not being facetious, I'm a stickler for mythological accuracy (for some reason).

YES
Likewise.
The irony is that the moment they wise up to making straight-up adaptations of mythology into movies they'll be vastly better movies, and they could build a Marvel style "cinematic universe" out of it.
But Hollywood seems to have love-hate relationship with good business decisions.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Do non-sensical translations count too?

The German version of Escape from New York is called "Die Klapperschlange", which means "The Rattlesnake". Aside from having absolutely nothing to do with the movie other than the lead having a snake tattoo, it isn't even a rattlesnake. It's a cobra...

Well the lead character IS called Snake. No rattlin' though.

 

[BraveSirRobin]

The most obvious one would be Troll 2. Not only was it not a sequel to Troll 1, but there were no actual trolls in the movie. The entire antagonists of the movie were god damn goblins. That said that movie was hilarious.

Thus the name, the director is the titular troll.

Man then he is good at hiding it. He actually gets really angry that people find it funny, and when asked about it in "Best Worst Movie" kind of storms off mumbling how nobody gets his vision. Honestly though that movie is so bad I can't see how it wasn't pointed out in production.

 

[Nimcha]

Do non-sensical translations count too?

The German version of Escape from New York is called "Die Klapperschlange", which means "The Rattlesnake". Aside from having absolutely nothing to do with the movie other than the lead having a snake tattoo, it isn't even a rattlesnake. It's a cobra...

Every time I'm in Germany I make a point to walk into an entertainment store to peruse the dvd section... Always the highlight of my trip

No offense, but when you call Die Hard 'Stirb Langsam'...

 

[WhiteFangofWhoa]

Transformers
Layer Cake
Alone in the Dark
And the obvious one, The Never Ending Story