SEX!!!

[paiged]

From a medical/psychological standpoint, physical attraction/intimacy is just as important as the emotional stuff. It's best to maintain a balance between the two sides - not that a relationship based on only sex or only love couldn't last, it really depends on the people involved.

And sex isn't just a "filler" for everyone either - sure, there are people who are in fact "sexaholics" - but that's like saying that everyone who has a beer or two with a meal on occasion is an alcoholic.

Really, it's the same as anything else in life. Some people shop to escape problems, some people eat, some people have sex, etc. Sex itself is not the problem - a mentally/emotionally stable human being doesn't need a reason to have sex, aside from the desire to be with the person they're having it with.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

*Snip*

Ever consider that maybe not everyone's looking for the same thing? Some people "need" sex more, some people don't need it as much.

I would think that, in a full loving relationship, trust, maturity, respect, closeness and other forms of intimacy take priority over sex. Anyone can have sex with you, look at random sex, but there are going to be fewer people who you can have a complete relationship with.

If someone values a relationship over sex, it doesn't mean they're stupid. It just means they're different. And no one's forcing you to wait around for them.

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

No!

How can you have such extreme views on the subject then? Forming an opinion from what other people have told you is one of the biggest mistakes you can make.

 

[Xanadeas]

I took a course on women's biology. It was disgusting. And I wasn't talking about being repulsed by intimacy or the creation of life, I was talking about the fact that you would compare something to hard drugs.

And have you ever considered the idea that I am repulsed by sex and drugs not because of my age, but because I've seen some of how horrible and destructive both can be?

I don't get signals that tell me that there is goodness to be had in sex. All I see is the potential for pain, betrayal and heartbreak, which is a necessary toll for procreation. Sex can be intimate, but intimacy itself does not have to be sexual.

And sex is rarely a fit of passion. Don't lie to yourself and say such things. From what I have found from second-hand sources that don't rose-tint everything, its not really that great. It is about eleven minutes worth of something that may or may not be pleasurable, and is often awkward. Our society has further laden sex with shame, and you may have well ruined the relationship you once had with someone you care about. And people don't always have sex for sex, it is a filler, an attempt to deal with real life problems, much akin to worry-eating or drinking away one's cares.
Its like Disneyland. Everyone practically worships it as the ideal place for bliss and togetherness, but really, you're just sweaty, dirty, out a few hundred dollars, and you could have had as much fun from staying home and watching a movie.

Which of course spontaneously leads to this question: Have you ever had any?

No! Why the Hell would I go and loose my virginity at 17?
Why would I want to subjegate myself to something like that? I don't find joy in sexual activities, nor even the thought of it.
And I've seen the people who are having sex at my age. With few exceptions, they are making some of the worst choices in their life, without even addressing the intercourse.

I don't want sex to be something about pain, poor decisions, or risking diseases. It will come when it comes. At some point, I may find someone I fall in love with, and they may be right for me. If so, we will have a relationship. Sex may very well occur. If that happens, nothing will change on my opinion of sex as a disgusting, dangerous act, I will just (possibly) enjoy it anyway.
It seems so wrong to me that people raise sex to be the zenith of sensual experiences, without giving it any caution or respect.

Everything in life is dangerous and no one activity is safe. Even sitting here in my bedroom I have to worry about a semi plowing off the Highway nearby and into my house. If I spend every moment fearing a disease I could probably and very likely get every time I left the house I'd be a nervous wreck. From my point of view it looks as though you're completely judging sex based off what you could read in a VERY old text book. It seems wrong to me that you view sex as nothing more than an act of lust and a way of spreading disease or causing harm.

 

[JanatUrlich]

Sex is really important!! I couldn't stay with someone if they were bad in bed! Maybe that's because I find it really difficult to get attached to someone. I have sex with my partners before I feel attached to them so I could never contemplate a relationship with no sex

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

Ever consider that maybe not everyone's looking for the same thing? Some people "need" sex more, some people don't need it as much.

Ah, but then we are in agreement.
You say that some people need more or less of something, you do not however state that some people can do completely without one of these things, which is exactly what I meant in the original post.

 

[Frank_Sinatra_]

And sex is rarely a fit of passion. Don't lie to yourself and say such things. From what I have found from second-hand sources that don't rose-tint everything, its not really that great. It is about eleven minutes worth of something that may or may not be pleasurable, and is often awkward. Our society has further laden sex with shame, and you may have well ruined the relationship you once had with someone you care about. And people don't always have sex for sex, it is a filler, an attempt to deal with real life problems, much akin to worry-eating or drinking away one's cares.
Its like Disneyland. Everyone practically worships it as the ideal place for bliss and togetherness, but really, you're just sweaty, dirty, out a few hundred dollars, and you could have had as much fun from staying home and watching a movie.

Nicely put, also the physical trauma that your body goes through could kill you during sex.

Is this thread taking place on Bizarro World?

This site apparently takes place on bizzaro world.

Isn't it awesome?!

 

[BGinsanity]

Sex isn't even slighty important in a relationship...

I do not agree. Sex is preety important. It shouldnt become the most important thing tho.

In a nutshell this is what i would say if zauxz didnt say it first =D

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

I was in a relationship with this girl for three years before we had sex, and left four months later. The reason I left her wasn't the sex. It's just that I'd rather be single than in a bad relationship with good sex.

So no. It's not equally important.

 

[vede]

Erana, I'm noticing a strange effect of the way you've thought of this.

You say the reason you don't want to have sex with people is because you've seen other people ruin their lives because they made bad decisions and didn't think about things, but by thinking about these things and making decisions about things related to the issue you've shown that the problems that arise due to bad decision-making and failure to think wouldn't apply to you, because you lack the primary reason for the problems to arise.

So, by making the decision not to have sex for the reasons you've stated, you've shown that you are actually one of the most logical people to have sex with. (Erm... by that I mean, it would be most logical to choose to have sex with you over someone else, not that you are the most logical person one could have sex with.)

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

Ever consider that maybe not everyone's looking for the same thing? Some people "need" sex more, some people don't need it as much.

Ah, but then we are in agreement.
You say that some people need more or less of something, you do not however state that some people can do completely without one of these things, which is exactly what I meant in the original post.

Some people can. There are people who don't want relationships. There are people who don't want sex. At all. These people are in the minority, but they exist. You're more likely to find preferences that are a little more mild than "yay" or "nay."

 

[Kajin]

Seriously, though,

Ever consider that maybe not everyone's looking for the same thing? Some people "need" sex more, some people don't need it as much.

Ah, but then we are in agreement.
You say that some people need more or less of something, you do not however state that some people can do completely without one of these things, which is exactly what I meant in the original post.

Some people can. There are people who don't want relationships. There are people who don't want sex. At all. These people are in the minority, but they exist. You're more likely to find preferences that are a little more mild than "yay" or "nay."

Being a member of that minority is very difficult, because now my sex addicted family thinks I'm gay >.<

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

I was in a relationship with this girl for three years before we had sex, and left four months later. The reason I left her wasn't the sex. It's just that I'd rather be single than in a bad relationship with good sex.

So no. It's not equally important.

For you it isn't.

Also, you said the relationship was bad, so the sex probably doesn't have anything to do with the breakup.

 

[savandicus]

Well as someone who believes in sex after marriage rather than before it i can say sex is a perfectly good and pure thing, and certainly most religions dont 'look down' on sex infact they have a much higher view of it than western culture. Its something that is so special it should only be shared with your life long partner whether thats your wife or husband.

As for a relationship not being able to survive without sex then thats a load of rubbish because your basically saying that anyone whos lost their doddle for any reason cant ever have a relationship. Yes sex helps in a relationship but the main thing that keeps people together is because they actually want to be together, if that isnt enough to hold them together then they will split regardless.

 

[paiged]

I was in a relationship with this girl for three years before we had sex, and left four months later. The reason I left her wasn't the sex. It's just that I'd rather be single than in a bad relationship with good sex.

So no. It's not equally important.

So if the situation was reversed and you weren't physically compatible but had a great relationship otherwise you would have stayed with her?

I supposed it would really all depend on how much you care for the person. Maybe there are other things you would be able to do to satisfy your physical needs and wants. Maybe kissing, cuddling, etc could be enough.

It's not the same for every person, though I think for most it would be preferable if the physical/mental/emotional aspects of their relationships were balanced.

 

[damselgaming]

How about, good sex is awesome, a good relationship is awesome. Either way it's awesome, but together its a WHOLE LOT of awesome.