Should my children play games?
- Thread starter Ionait
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first off, kids seeing violent things and hearing crude language does not matter to your child's development, it's your responsibility to teach your child what is ok and not ok. The culture of fear the we have set out for children is bad for them, and has gotten worse with Cable TV because we become disconnected with our local community. I was playing diablo at a young age like yourself, i started playing Parasite Eve when i was 8-9 and it was extremely violent and sexual. I picked up GTA when i was 12-13. Im now a competitive gamer as my hobby, and i still put about 10-15 hours a week into gaming. But im not obsessed, i chill with my friends everday after work.
I'm the least violent kid you will ever meet, I've never gotten into a fight, i don't drugs, and anything else illegal. Don't blame anything bad that happens to your kid on a video game. It's your fault for not teaching him how to really interpret reality and decide what is right and wrong.
that's it : )
I'm the least violent kid you will ever meet, I've never gotten into a fight, i don't drugs, and anything else illegal. Don't blame anything bad that happens to your kid on a video game. It's your fault for not teaching him how to really interpret reality and decide what is right and wrong.
that's it : )
A dangerous question you ask. But seeing how you appear honestly interested in seperating the politics from the facts, I have a couple of suggestions. Believe it or not, I'm not going to take a stance on the issue, but instead I'm going to try to point you in the right direction for an actual inquiry;
1) Anecdotal evidence is meaningless, like the young gentleman in Vietnam who claimed GTAIV made him kill someone. Maybe thats true, maybe its not. But the experience of one person will not offer insight into the issue but will only confuse it. Why? Because personal experiences vary highly and can powerfully corrupt the issue for the person who had the experience.
2) No news source is unbiased. Sorry Escapist, even you. If you read a report online from some site with a .com at the end of it, be suspicious.
3) If you want to understand if violent video games are dangerous and, if so, which types of media in specific can be harmful to development, I recommend you look at this from the scientific point of view. When looking online, make sure that what you are reading comes from an honest to god institute of study.
http://www.psychology.iastate.edu/faculty/caa/abstracts/2000-2004/01AB.pdf
Iowa State isn't a great school, but a good scientist will follow the rules. I use the above as an example, and in no way do I think it is the dominating view on the issue. I just believe it to be a view, and a legitimate one at that.
If you find the internet...lacking...go to a local library. Ask the librarian. Yes, really. If he or she can't help, then ask if they have "JStor." JStor is a compilation of different scientific journals, and a search on it should be very productive. Sadly, it isn't generally offered free online but a public library should have it.
4) Lastly, theres more to this than "use your common sense." Everyone makes mistakes, even the most reasonable people. Find the knowledge and be prepared. Thats sorta what responsibility is all about, isn't it?
1) Anecdotal evidence is meaningless, like the young gentleman in Vietnam who claimed GTAIV made him kill someone. Maybe thats true, maybe its not. But the experience of one person will not offer insight into the issue but will only confuse it. Why? Because personal experiences vary highly and can powerfully corrupt the issue for the person who had the experience.
2) No news source is unbiased. Sorry Escapist, even you. If you read a report online from some site with a .com at the end of it, be suspicious.
3) If you want to understand if violent video games are dangerous and, if so, which types of media in specific can be harmful to development, I recommend you look at this from the scientific point of view. When looking online, make sure that what you are reading comes from an honest to god institute of study.
http://www.psychology.iastate.edu/faculty/caa/abstracts/2000-2004/01AB.pdf
Iowa State isn't a great school, but a good scientist will follow the rules. I use the above as an example, and in no way do I think it is the dominating view on the issue. I just believe it to be a view, and a legitimate one at that.
If you find the internet...lacking...go to a local library. Ask the librarian. Yes, really. If he or she can't help, then ask if they have "JStor." JStor is a compilation of different scientific journals, and a search on it should be very productive. Sadly, it isn't generally offered free online but a public library should have it.
4) Lastly, theres more to this than "use your common sense." Everyone makes mistakes, even the most reasonable people. Find the knowledge and be prepared. Thats sorta what responsibility is all about, isn't it?
The end decision is up to you of course. However, as you've said, you yourself played and watched what you wanted, with little parental supervision. Now, do you still think though, that this in some way has negatively affected your own development?
Still, obviously, since you're so knowledgeable about these things, means -you- can pick and choose what you do or don't want your child to play. That said, it may be hard to decide between whether a game has any real value besides entertainment and it's content. There are after all, a lot of games that are violent, use mature language or sexual references etc. But, by that same token, there are a lot of -great- games that are violent, use mature language sexual references.
Maybe, just do a little research before-hand I guess. Actually, if you want to instill some measure of appreciation for games, maybe start with some older classics, you mentioned Space Quest there, maybe something in the same vein, I think there's a King's Quest Collection available, similar point & click style adventure, but with a medieval setting with magic and dragons and such, very friendly game, if not so ehm user friendly, so at any rate, it'll certainly be a lesson in patience.
Still, obviously, since you're so knowledgeable about these things, means -you- can pick and choose what you do or don't want your child to play. That said, it may be hard to decide between whether a game has any real value besides entertainment and it's content. There are after all, a lot of games that are violent, use mature language or sexual references etc. But, by that same token, there are a lot of -great- games that are violent, use mature language sexual references.
Maybe, just do a little research before-hand I guess. Actually, if you want to instill some measure of appreciation for games, maybe start with some older classics, you mentioned Space Quest there, maybe something in the same vein, I think there's a King's Quest Collection available, similar point & click style adventure, but with a medieval setting with magic and dragons and such, very friendly game, if not so ehm user friendly, so at any rate, it'll certainly be a lesson in patience.
I'd say you should let her play video games. I highly doubt that they'll have a negative effect on her. You might want to wait a few years to let her play Mature-rated games, though, and make sure she understands that she shouldn't imitate things in those games.
If it were me, I'd monitor what your child plays and teach them the difference between 'OK' and 'not OK'. I've been playing video games for about 8 years now for ~2 hours a day, I dunno what that adds up to, but over time, it's a lot. I'm also, as other people say, the most mellow person they know. I don't drink/smoke/use drugs/etc. Even arguments are rare for me. I've never actually punched someone, the closest I've come is tackling people in football (American).
It all really depends on the household, I guess. My parents never really monitored what I played (my favorite game on the N64 was Turok, at age 8), but nothing really ever affected me negatively. I guess what matters is how impressionable the child is.
It all really depends on the household, I guess. My parents never really monitored what I played (my favorite game on the N64 was Turok, at age 8), but nothing really ever affected me negatively. I guess what matters is how impressionable the child is.
I'm no parent, but I have gamed since I were 6. Personally, I think it depends on the kid wether it hurts to play certain games or not. Somewhat smart kids know that GTA (which I think is the most relevant game) is fiction, it's just a game, and the less smart know that even if they would want to do anything like that in reality, they would get caught. I honestly think the hip-hop culture is more "damaging" then playing games.
Except GTA, I can't really see a game damage a kid in that way. I guess there are games that could make them have nightmares, and that depends on what the kid is afraid of, ofcourse.
Now, I'll try to answer your questions more directly.
First, if she wants to get/play a certain game, and you say it's not okay, I think she'll go to a friend. That's what I would do, and (honestly) everyone I know. I don't think games will make her stay inside more. If she is a stay-inside kid, she is - it doesn't matter if she likes games or not, in my opinion. I'm extremely nerdy and only go outside when I have to, but I have nerdy friends (less nerdy then me, I guess) that play a lot of games, but still spend quite a lot of time outside. If you avoid saying "No, why don't you play some DDR instead of going outside", or anything like that, I don't think you'll 'teach' her to stay inside.
Oh, right, if she wants to play a grown up game. Well, this depends if you mean.. Bar games, or violent games. Bar games, I would wait until I'd let her play that. Horror depends on the kid, as I said. Violent? Well, I played GTA and everything like that, and I'm the most nonviolent person I know. I haven't hit anyone. Ever. Not kidding. Can't help you making that decision, all I know is, that if she wants to play it, she'll probably go to a friend or something.
Sorry if it's hard to read my post or something like that. English isn't my first language, and long posts tend to be one big clutter if I produce them. (Oh yeah, games made me learn english. Really don't think that matters to you though ;D)
Except GTA, I can't really see a game damage a kid in that way. I guess there are games that could make them have nightmares, and that depends on what the kid is afraid of, ofcourse.
Now, I'll try to answer your questions more directly.
First, if she wants to get/play a certain game, and you say it's not okay, I think she'll go to a friend. That's what I would do, and (honestly) everyone I know. I don't think games will make her stay inside more. If she is a stay-inside kid, she is - it doesn't matter if she likes games or not, in my opinion. I'm extremely nerdy and only go outside when I have to, but I have nerdy friends (less nerdy then me, I guess) that play a lot of games, but still spend quite a lot of time outside. If you avoid saying "No, why don't you play some DDR instead of going outside", or anything like that, I don't think you'll 'teach' her to stay inside.
Oh, right, if she wants to play a grown up game. Well, this depends if you mean.. Bar games, or violent games. Bar games, I would wait until I'd let her play that. Horror depends on the kid, as I said. Violent? Well, I played GTA and everything like that, and I'm the most nonviolent person I know. I haven't hit anyone. Ever. Not kidding. Can't help you making that decision, all I know is, that if she wants to play it, she'll probably go to a friend or something.
Sorry if it's hard to read my post or something like that. English isn't my first language, and long posts tend to be one big clutter if I produce them. (Oh yeah, games made me learn english. Really don't think that matters to you though ;D)
My only tip would be if she wants to play a game in the future, allow her to get it. Play it through, and THEN decide if she can play it.
Also bare in mind- Scary games just before bed will probably mean you get woken up because she can't get to sleep because of the monster in the corner :s
Also bare in mind- Scary games just before bed will probably mean you get woken up because she can't get to sleep because of the monster in the corner :s
I was up and down with this argument, just because I'm sure we have all seen the negative affects of games on PEOPLE let alone children. And it doesn't even have to be violent games on any level. People can just be hooked. I wouldn't say it's bad to let your children play games, but I believe that a parent should certainly be sure to get involved in what they're playing and how long they play it for. Give them a healthy balance of everything a child should experience, like going to theme parks, playing in the park with friends, going for walks or going out with the family! Stuff that I believe is taken for granted too often when this discussion arises.
I agree somewhat what Jazzyluv says, as a child cannot judge what is right or wrong, and needs guidance in everything they see and experience. Although that point is null anyway, as the REAL issue there is that those kids should not be playing games outside their age group ANYWAY! That's why they put age restrictions on them.
I would simply ensure that the games you let your children play are played with your knowledge, and you keep tabs on what they play (not Big Brother style but you know what I mean!) and therefore you can make suggestions and step in whenever you feel is necessary!
I agree somewhat what Jazzyluv says, as a child cannot judge what is right or wrong, and needs guidance in everything they see and experience. Although that point is null anyway, as the REAL issue there is that those kids should not be playing games outside their age group ANYWAY! That's why they put age restrictions on them.
I would simply ensure that the games you let your children play are played with your knowledge, and you keep tabs on what they play (not Big Brother style but you know what I mean!) and therefore you can make suggestions and step in whenever you feel is necessary!
just make sure that you monitor what she plays. i didnt but i think it didnt have much affect on me. if you are worried about her being a shut in and wanting to do nothing but play WOW you should enroll her in sports like softball, soccer, or basketball. find out what she likes to do. apparently its dance so why not get her in a tap class. psychologically speaking dont let her play M games, or well games that have gratuitious sex or violence because an experiment done by Philip Zimbardo PhD. revealed that people who play violent games will resort to violence faster than someone who doesnt.
regulate her game playing and dont let her become behaviorally addicted to the screen.
regulate her game playing and dont let her become behaviorally addicted to the screen.
Now this is the golden age to shove a stick up the arse of the moral panicking Jack Thompson parents. Because in this age the parents are gamers. Personally I don't think a violent videogame has any more (less infact) impact on a child then playing with plastic pistols. And just as you tell your kids never to point that at someone, they will anyway because they aren't stupid. They know what's real and what's not. Same goes for videogames. When you raise a child you don't shape them as you want them. You give them directives and let them become their own person. But when they are very young they can't have that responsibility, as for parental control over videogames, it might be a good idea to hold them off from the very violent/scary ones until you think they are old enough to handle it. The ESRB thing isn't so bad actually. Except that most 14 - 15 year olds would still be able to handle a mature game.
If she turns out to like games, great! I'd worry more about her health so you'll have to restrict the hours a day she's allowed to play, I'm no expert but I'd say 2-3 hours when she really young and maybe 3-4 when she gets older (11-12). There is no denying that playing too much will affect your physical appearance and health.
And just as "Jazzyluv" says. I'm a very calm, non-violent person. I always try to avoid fights if I can. And I'm 192cms tall, work out and weigh 95kg, so it's not because I would be useless. This is not thanks to the fact that I never played violent videogames as a kid (which I did, ALOT!); It's thanks to my mother who raised me with the values I live by today.
However I'm pretty sure you could answer all these questions yourself. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that you're like my sister was before she gave birth to my nephew. Nervous, first time mother/hormone monster!
And I'll tell you the same thing. Put your mind to it and you'll be a great parent, I'm sure of it.
If she turns out to like games, great! I'd worry more about her health so you'll have to restrict the hours a day she's allowed to play, I'm no expert but I'd say 2-3 hours when she really young and maybe 3-4 when she gets older (11-12). There is no denying that playing too much will affect your physical appearance and health.
And just as "Jazzyluv" says. I'm a very calm, non-violent person. I always try to avoid fights if I can. And I'm 192cms tall, work out and weigh 95kg, so it's not because I would be useless. This is not thanks to the fact that I never played violent videogames as a kid (which I did, ALOT!); It's thanks to my mother who raised me with the values I live by today.
However I'm pretty sure you could answer all these questions yourself. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that you're like my sister was before she gave birth to my nephew. Nervous, first time mother/hormone monster!
And I'll tell you the same thing. Put your mind to it and you'll be a great parent, I'm sure of it.
The First game I ever played was Diablo when I was 7, while my next-door neighbor was all about sports. I still play video games and I am not screwed up (much like the guy above me " don't drink/smoke/use drugs/etc...... the closest I've come is tackling people in football (American)" that is basicly it. My neighbor on the other hand, has gone from sports fanatic to hardcore into Cocaine, dropped out of school and just basicly does nothing. Videogames are alright if you tell your kids what they are doing in the game is bad, sure it is fun to knife a guy in the back in Call of Duty every-so-often, but that does not mean that it should be applied in real life.
What I am trying to say is, games can be okay, so long as you treat it more like fiction, and less like reality, you detach yourself from the video game as "only being a video game" and that is it. Just keep your kid away from the bad stuff.
What I am trying to say is, games can be okay, so long as you treat it more like fiction, and less like reality, you detach yourself from the video game as "only being a video game" and that is it. Just keep your kid away from the bad stuff.
When I was young, my dad was really laid-back with his attitude to games and I remember playing the likes of Doom and the original GTA from about 4 or 5 years old. Never affected me in the slightest. Games are games, and reality is reality, seems a pretty easy concept to grasp to me.
Your kid will probably grow up to enjoy the same things you do if only slightly. Let them be free to play games, but do regulate the games you don't want them to play. You know video games, so you have a leg-up on other parents who don't have a clue and can't remember that M=Mature. Make sure you get to know your kid's friends and what they do. That way you can know if they might play a mature and violent game behind your back. It's really all about getting to know your kid and not overpowering them with rules due to a lack of knowledge.
There are many positive aspects of gaming.
First off, there are tremendous educational benefits. There are a wide variety of educational and activity software packages that teach reading, math, puzzles, etc for pre-schoolers and grade schoolers. These programs teach through interactive activities that resemble simple video games. The children find them rewarding and end up learning in the process. If you don't think these programs work or that being able to read early provides a significant advantage in the education system, you should look into it more. My daughter read the first six Harry Potter books in first grade. Those Jump-Start programs are not a joke.
Secondly, there are many, many age appropriate games even for 3 and 4 year olds on the consoles and on the pc. Also, having young kids is a great excuse to get out the old consoles. A four year old won't complain about how much the graphics suck on a Genesis or SNES and will just enjoy playing the same grat games you used to like. Mario and Sonic are great for kids. There are plenty of titles available that involve problem solving and trial ane error and kids still love them. As the kids get older they can move around better in a 3-d world.
Also, there are activities like the old Mac Draw and Microsoft Paint that are great for kids. Not technically games, but young kids learn through active play.
First off, there are tremendous educational benefits. There are a wide variety of educational and activity software packages that teach reading, math, puzzles, etc for pre-schoolers and grade schoolers. These programs teach through interactive activities that resemble simple video games. The children find them rewarding and end up learning in the process. If you don't think these programs work or that being able to read early provides a significant advantage in the education system, you should look into it more. My daughter read the first six Harry Potter books in first grade. Those Jump-Start programs are not a joke.
Secondly, there are many, many age appropriate games even for 3 and 4 year olds on the consoles and on the pc. Also, having young kids is a great excuse to get out the old consoles. A four year old won't complain about how much the graphics suck on a Genesis or SNES and will just enjoy playing the same grat games you used to like. Mario and Sonic are great for kids. There are plenty of titles available that involve problem solving and trial ane error and kids still love them. As the kids get older they can move around better in a 3-d world.
Also, there are activities like the old Mac Draw and Microsoft Paint that are great for kids. Not technically games, but young kids learn through active play.
Get 'em into boardgames first. When your opponent is sitting across the table from you, rudeness and poor sportsmanship have very different consequences, compared to what happens if your opponents are on the other side of an internet connection.
Boardgames will give you and your kids an excuse to hang out and play together and with other friends, and they'll inculcate all that cultural geeky gamer goodness along with stealth lessons on resource management, probability analysis, planning, negotiation and others.
Start here. You've got a long, fun road ahead of you. They'll get to video games on their own time, don't worry about that.
Boardgames will give you and your kids an excuse to hang out and play together and with other friends, and they'll inculcate all that cultural geeky gamer goodness along with stealth lessons on resource management, probability analysis, planning, negotiation and others.
Start here. You've got a long, fun road ahead of you. They'll get to video games on their own time, don't worry about that.