So! Im afraid to die! - How can I deal with my mortality?

[CharrHearted]

For some reason i havent thought about it before but very recently, the thought of my eventual demise has been plaguing me. I dont know why or when it started but since last week ive developed a fear for sleeping, afraid il die in the middle of the night and the inevitable end of my life as a whole.

Eventually, not matter what i do, i am going to die. Once i die, my body deteriorates, my consciousness fades and i lose all sense of self. I will no longer dream, my brain stops functioning and the end comes. The dread of one day dying and not having consciousness scares me so much, that ive sat in my room crying for hours screaming that i dont want to die, and i dont! One of these days no matter what, i will die, and everything will vanish, my mind, consciousness, everything.

With such an inevitable and cruel fate, how can you people deal and just accept your own mortality? How can you go through life enjoying it without questioning your time will end every waking moment? Im too scared to even think what my death will be like, and when it comes, what will happen? How can i deal with the fact im going to die? Everything seems so pointless now, one day im going to just perish and theres nothing i can do to change it.

Im scared... And really need help... How can i accept that im going to just die so horribly?

I do suffer from depression and an inferiority complex so, those dont help either. I just feel like im breaking.

 

[renegade7]

Easy, I don't accept it. And you shouldn't either. I am constantly aware of my mortality, and constantly aware of what I can do to mitigate that. We're so close now as a species to being able to put such constraints behind us forever, the people who bleat about how natural and wonderful dying is are what's holding us back right now. Or you die trying anyway.

If you want to do something about it, then get to studying chemistry, robotics, physics, medicine, or math and you might one day be the source of one of the breakthroughs that prevents death from aging, or at least be able to contribute.

 

[jamail77]

To be perfectly honest with you - and I really hope this doesn't make things worse - I have never feared death. There are multiple reasons for this:

1) I'm an agnostic theist, if you must put a label on it. I like to think that any God, Gods, or force can't interfere once he/she/it sets things in motion, which is why the grass is not always greener on planet Earth.

2) I live life in the moment. I enjoy the time I'm living and make the most of it. If things go right, when death comes I will have lived a life well spent.

3) Hoping I die with minimal pain. What most people want, however selfish it may sound.

4) Death is not as set as stone as it may seem as reneade7 says. You say your conciousness fades, but who's to say you don't enter a forever dream state, or what feels like forever anyway? Who is to say there is nothing after (that's part of being an agnostic over an atheist I suppose)?

5) Most importantly, you cannot let it get to you! If you have something in life you want or need to do just do it! I have something similar to what you are describing about yourself and recently overcame a suicide attempt to get a bit too personal perhaps. I couldn't be happier afterward though to the point I've been told jumping so fast emotionally is unnatural, non-normal, and unhealthy. That feels a bit insulting and unfair because I feel like I've earned happiness after all that pain frankly, again as selfish as that sounds whether it's unhealthy or not. If jumping from extreme depression to extreme happiness is bipolar then everyone should be bipolar because what a wonderful feeling frankly.

Good luck. If you need help there are many outlets available. The advice forum here is just one of them. The minute I searched suicide to discourage myself I got the suicide helpline. I didn't call it, but it's just an example of prevention and concern that many human beings have for another even if not all of us seem to.

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

snip

As a youngin, I just tend to not think about it[footnote]unless something traumatic happens to me that makes me realize my mortality, in which case, therapy time[/footnote], I'm busy thinking about my day to day life and how to build my future. I've noticed some old people, it doesn't really bother them because they've looked back on their life and are happy with all they've done so they're "ready" to leave.

I would suggest talking to a therapist to help you with your fear if you haven't already for depression. If you have not, please do, there's no shame in it, I was very depressed and I got help (after some friendly prodding from people on this website) and I approach things in my life very differently because of it.

I have been trying to experience more in my life, I am out of school and fortunate enough to have a stable source of income, so I try to do things that I haven't thought about previously, take myself out of my comfort zone, try new foods, go to social gatherings, exercise, go to amusement parks, ride the roller coasters, go hiking and do other outdoorsy stuff, travel a little, find someone to do it all with me <3.

but it takes baby steps and I feel if I keep it up, I could look at the end of my life the same way the old people do should I make it that far, and if I don't, I did a good job while I was here.

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

For some reason i havent thought about it before but very recently, the thought of my eventual demise has been plaguing me. I dont know why or when it started but since last week ive developed a fear for sleeping, afraid il die in the middle of the night and the inevitable end of my life as a whole.

Eventually, not matter what i do, i am going to die. Once i die, my body deteriorates, my consciousness fades and i lose all sense of self. I will no longer dream, my brain stops functioning and the end comes. The dread of one day dying and not having consciousness scares me so much, that ive sat in my room crying for hours screaming that i dont want to die, and i dont! One of these days no matter what, i will die, and everything will vanish, my mind, consciousness, everything.

With such an inevitable and cruel fate, how can you people deal and just accept your own mortality? How can you go through life enjoying it without questioning your time will end every waking moment? Im too scared to even think what my death will be like, and when it comes, what will happen? How can i deal with the fact im going to die? Everything seems so pointless now, one day im going to just perish and theres nothing i can do to change it.

Im scared... And really need help... How can i accept that im going to just die so horribly?

I do suffer from depression and an inferiority complex so, those dont help either. I just feel like im breaking.

Well personally I think of it like this. It'll happen, I won't notice when it does, I can't suffer because I won't be around to suffer. It's not something you can experience.

But aside from that, I also just... kind of ignore the fact it will happen. I like to think that technology will prolong our lifespans. Do I know if it will? Nope, but it's a nice thought to take my mind off something I expect to be in the far future if it comes to that.

Plus it means I should enjoy what I have while I have it. If anything not enjoying it and being worried will be worse than feeling nothing so really it's worse to worry. Essentially the anticipation is worse than the event. So better not to worry.

I'm not sure if it's particularly easy to put yourself in the same mindset but it works for me.

 

[Nailzzz]

I can relate a great deal with this. I have been having nightmares about dying ever since I can remember. In some cases I even go so far as to dream about being in hell. Which is funny since I am agnostic. I have died in my dreams from so many things and each time the dreams are vivid and I can think back to the experience and the memory of the pain will make me wince. It's kind of amazing how many ways to die will simulate the feeling of drowning alongside the pain. Whenever I hear about some horrific way that someone died, I can often relate to the experience.

Needless to say, I am also very afraid of the final time I will experience death. I use to obsess about it as you are now. It is still always there in the back of my head. I have been very risk averse my entire life as a result. It has become a mark of my character and I am a very self-controlled and restrained person, even as a child. People simply see me as aloof or too serious/respectful/polite as a result. Self-control is so much who I am now, that I can no longer just let go. Everything is a risk assessment. None of my actions are organic. Everything has to be calculated before I take action, though I am quick enough to react to things thankfully.

The point being that this preoccupation with death can and will consume and change you if you let it. You could become like me. I'm not sure that's such a good thing. Too much control and preoccupation can hinder your ability to be able to do certain things. For example I cannot dance. I cannot do drugs of any kind. Anything that takes spontaneity or risk, I cannot bring myself to participate in. I am too busy analyzing things to just enjoy them. Getting into fights can escalate far beyond what either you or your opponent intended as you will take it too far if your forced to engage. You will fight to the death because it will ensure that you will not have future challenges that may risk your life or you will run and avoid confrontation altogether. You will no longer see such things as simply establishing a pecking order but as an actual attempt on your life and react accordingly. If you fight and get the upper hand, you might kill them because you will be too afraid to stop.

On the other hand, your fear can also make you an incredibly empathetic person. I cannot help but feel incredibly bad whenever I see anything dead or hurt. You may begin to see the entire world as a factory of suffering as I do. I will do whatever I can to minimize the suffering of others. not even just other humans. I even extend my empathy towards creatures that may not even have an understanding of the emotions that I attribute to them and will rescue or assist them in avoiding an unnecessary death/suffering if possible.

Fear of death can really change you in some rather odd ways if you let it. I suspect that most people would be better off without it. It is however to late for me. It has defined almost everything about me. I would implore you not to do the same.