Someone stole My Ipod, I want revenge!

[Mr Metzger]

Ok so I work in an off licence on the weekends and I usually have my Ipod plugged into the radio. On Saturday I had it plugged into the radio under the counter and the tramp lifted it when I wasn't looking because I was serving someone else.

When I realised what had happened, I chased after the guy but he was gone.

What I would like is for you good people to come up with the most creative forms of revenge as I think that it would make me feel better.

Cheers for reading!

 

[DoPo]

Find where he lives. Sneak in while he sleeps. Have two buckets of water - one boiling hot (it would actually work even if it wouldn't give them burns - just very hot is enough), the other ice cold. Splash the hot one immediately followed by the cold one. Enjoy the screams.

 

[Mr.Mattress]

... Sue him? Or call the cops? I think those would be the smartest moves, because anything else won't hold up in court if your defense is "He stole my Ipod!"

 

[Mr Metzger]

... Sue him? Or call the cops? I think those would be the smartest moves, because anything else won't hold up in court if your defense is "He stole my Ipod!"

I called the police and we have the CCTV footage but he is a gypsy/traveller and the police want nothing to do with it. They said it would be unlikely that I got the Ipod Back.

And anyway this is just to make me feel better, I am obviously not going to go out on a murderous rampage

 

[The Night Angel]

I think you should leave it, when he tries to listen to your collection of Bieber and rebecca black albums, he'll take his own life for you.

 

[Andy Shandy]

Poop Catapult?

Yeah, that's the best I got at the moment. Yes I'm so mature.

 

[Mr.Mattress]

... Sue him? Or call the cops? I think those would be the smartest moves, because anything else won't hold up in court if your defense is "He stole my Ipod!"

I called the police and we have the CCTV footage but he is a gypsy/traveller and the police want nothing to do with it. They said it would be unlikely that I got the Ipod Back.

And anyway this is just to make me feel better, I am obviously not going to go out on a murderous rampage

... Then sue the police for not doing their job? Regardless of whether or not they can actually get your Ipod Back, they have to fallow up on the fact that he stole your stuff, regardless of his Gypsy nature.

Plus, the money you can make from suing the police should be enough to get your Ipod back...

 

[BathorysGraveland]

Strap him into a room and and play some of the most drawn-out drone/doom you can find, at high volume, and put it on repeat for a few days.

 

[Bertylicious]

I'm going to go with join a far right political group and vent your frustrations on innocent minorities, all the while telling anyone who'll listen about how you've been victimised by "those bastards" until there is nothing in your life apart from bile and rage.

 

[Trivun]

Ever heard of the slow slicing, or Lingchi, technique? I considered using this as a torture method for one of my more sadistic characters for a story a while back, and it's still fresh in my mind...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_slicing

 

[Aerosteam]

Steal his life.

Joking aside, follow him and steal from where he lives or something like that. Or take it further and place the stolen item in someone else's pocket, Brynjolf style.

 

[Dr Pussymagnet]

You ever seen Taken?

Do that.

 

[Jazoni89]

Here is a great revenge, buy a Walkman to despise the guy who nicked your Ipod.

So when you see him next, you can say to him that he is a apple hipster *****.

 

[Scorched_Cascade]

I am disappointed that nobody has suggested fire yet. Just listen to your ole pal the Leprechaun:


I find that fire is a suitable answer to most of this forum's questions.

 

[Total LOLige]

... Sue him? Or call the cops? I think those would be the smartest moves, because anything else won't hold up in court if your defense is "He stole my Ipod!"

I called the police and we have the CCTV footage but he is a gypsy/traveller and the police want nothing to do with it. They said it would be unlikely that I got the Ipod Back.

And anyway this is just to make me feel better, I am obviously not going to go out on a murderous rampage

I think pranking a traveler is the worst thing you could possibly do. Unless you have a death wish go ahead. I've heard stories about acts of revenge against gypsies and they don't end well.

 

[Total LOLige]

snip

Ha Ha. Not that kind of traveler. The kind that get 5 people to beat the shit out of you for the tiniest things.

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

... Then sue the police for not doing their job? Regardless of whether or not they can actually get your Ipod Back, they have to fallow up on the fact that he stole your stuff, regardless of his Gypsy nature.

Plus, the money you can make from suing the police should be enough to get your Ipod back...

Not true and a dick move. The police don't have to follow up on it because the chances are that it'll be long gone by the time they take a statement. There's literally no use in chasing loose ends like this when there are more important crimes to look at. My friend has his phone stolen a couple weeks ago and traced it to a dodgy shop in Durham. Despite this the police didn't follow it up because it'd be taken apart and sold to 7 different people before anyting actually happened. Their advise is to just call up the insurance firm and sort it out that way.

OT: Cut off his ears. He steals your iPod you steal his ear, fair game if you ask me.