I love Bioshock.
If you know anything about me, its that 1. I'm amazing, 2. I think Bioshock is the best game ever, and 3. Boy howdy am I pessimistic.
And when Bioshock remastered was announced, I'll be honest, I didn't expect much of it. Never played it on console, only PC. So my memories are crisp, neat, and well-controlled.
But i was looking- nay, begging, for a reason to play it again.
And then I played this new version. Now i'll say I appreciate the effort. I appreciate people going back and sharpening details and shit.
And so, with whiskey in hand, I started the Remastered version and completed just past Medical, and the death of Steinmen.
I first started to have worries when I hacked the turrets in Medical, and it doesn't attack the enemies. Or, more accurately, it does, but after they've attack me, not I attack them, and always with accuracy that would make a blind quadriplegic proud. I swear I was almost killed more times by the fist sentry than any enemy.
Then I was in the Funeral Room, where you're walking through a little bit of water, the lights go out, a corpse floats by you, and lights turn on so you see the shadow of a man.
Except there was no shadow.
Then I meet Cameras, and their red wave detection field is gone.
Then I get to the cyro rooms that are supposed to fill with cyro gas. Except they don't, and I'm left staring at a medical table that literally just pops a corpse onto it instead of having one appear in the fog. THEN when I get an audiotape, a tiny barely enough to register fog appears, turn around, hear Hahaha, but...no doctor. No one to attack me.
Then I get to a Storage Room and this is what I find:
Then I reach the hallway to Steinmen, and the turret can't be hacked. No matter the lightning, the press X to hack never shows up.
The surgeon dies instantly to a lightning bolt and shotgun to the face - much easier than I remember.
Get some Adam from a Little Sister and...
Yup, couldn't move, she's not moving, can't jump. Was like this until I saved, closed the game, and restarted and she was in a different place.
Kill the Big Daddy, and its much easier than I remember.
now I'm in Neptune's Bounty, and I'm supposed to get my fist look at the new splicers. Roses, creepy voice, disturbing shadow and..
Fuck you Bioshock! You've taken away 50% of all the fear and atmosphere for barely worth mentioning graphical improvements.
As it is, as a 10000000000000000000% free game I'm willing to play it. But even at $.50, I'd never pay for it.
This feels like the Silent Hill HD collection where it turns out its an Alpha build, because they lost the completed copy, and then just re-released it expecting you, I, Great Aunt Nanners, Jim, Mark, Tyraneous, and literally ever single soul to never know the difference.
If you know anything about me, its that 1. I'm amazing, 2. I think Bioshock is the best game ever, and 3. Boy howdy am I pessimistic.
And when Bioshock remastered was announced, I'll be honest, I didn't expect much of it. Never played it on console, only PC. So my memories are crisp, neat, and well-controlled.
But i was looking- nay, begging, for a reason to play it again.
And then I played this new version. Now i'll say I appreciate the effort. I appreciate people going back and sharpening details and shit.
And so, with whiskey in hand, I started the Remastered version and completed just past Medical, and the death of Steinmen.
I first started to have worries when I hacked the turrets in Medical, and it doesn't attack the enemies. Or, more accurately, it does, but after they've attack me, not I attack them, and always with accuracy that would make a blind quadriplegic proud. I swear I was almost killed more times by the fist sentry than any enemy.
Then I was in the Funeral Room, where you're walking through a little bit of water, the lights go out, a corpse floats by you, and lights turn on so you see the shadow of a man.
Except there was no shadow.
Then I meet Cameras, and their red wave detection field is gone.
Then I get to the cyro rooms that are supposed to fill with cyro gas. Except they don't, and I'm left staring at a medical table that literally just pops a corpse onto it instead of having one appear in the fog. THEN when I get an audiotape, a tiny barely enough to register fog appears, turn around, hear Hahaha, but...no doctor. No one to attack me.
Then I get to a Storage Room and this is what I find:
Then I reach the hallway to Steinmen, and the turret can't be hacked. No matter the lightning, the press X to hack never shows up.
The surgeon dies instantly to a lightning bolt and shotgun to the face - much easier than I remember.
Get some Adam from a Little Sister and...
Yup, couldn't move, she's not moving, can't jump. Was like this until I saved, closed the game, and restarted and she was in a different place.
Kill the Big Daddy, and its much easier than I remember.
now I'm in Neptune's Bounty, and I'm supposed to get my fist look at the new splicers. Roses, creepy voice, disturbing shadow and..
Fuck you Bioshock! You've taken away 50% of all the fear and atmosphere for barely worth mentioning graphical improvements.
As it is, as a 10000000000000000000% free game I'm willing to play it. But even at $.50, I'd never pay for it.
This feels like the Silent Hill HD collection where it turns out its an Alpha build, because they lost the completed copy, and then just re-released it expecting you, I, Great Aunt Nanners, Jim, Mark, Tyraneous, and literally ever single soul to never know the difference.
