Sorry, it's a relationship (or lack thereof) thread

[Valkyrie101]

So, I just started in sixth form this year, and there's a new girl who I maybe kinda-sorta like. The problems are twofold. One, although she's in my form, she has no lessons with me, and she hardly ever seems to be around outside lessons, which makes it difficult to see her at all. Second, I'm a socially awkward nerd with slightly more than zero confidence, who's never had a girlfriend and doesn't really "get" girls (not self-pity, just the facts). So the question is, Escapists, what do I do? How do I approach her without managing to look like a prick?

Some slightly relevant facts for consideration: I've added her on Facebook, and I think I managed to make a decent impression one lunchtime when I was sat on her table, when I made her laugh a few times (not talking directly to her, but to the group as a whole).

 

[Harlemura]

I'd help, but I'm in pretty much the same situation. Y'know, apart from the actively doing something about it.
Just stay on her good side and don't do anything that'll make you look like the King of the Pricks while she's around, I guess.

 

[NiceGurl_14]

Ok, on a side note, you do realize that most of the people on the site are just like you right?

OT: The best way to go about it is just to try to get to know her more before you really decide that you like her. Showing that you have an interest in what's going on with her makes a big impact on the situation. Just be yourself and always keep the lines of communication open if she chooses to use them.

 

[DefunctTheory]

We all like the happy ending... but not this time.

You've painted a pretty pathetic picture of yourself, friend, and if its true, you need a bit more work before you can start jumping at girls you have virtually no social contact with.

But really, if you want to go through with it... than just do it. Getting dates is not the herculean task most believe. Either she likes you enough to say yes, or she doesn't.

 

[Girl With One Eye]

I met my previous boyfriend in my sixth form canteen, I was alone waiting for a friend and he just came up and started talking to me. Confidence is attractive, so if you see her alone just say something like "Hi, I've seen you around, whats your name? What classes are you in?" just general questions and get to know her from there.

 

[Cowabungaa]

First; fix the social awkwardness and confidence thing. Even if you'd manage to get together odds are that a relationship would ultimately fail. First love yourself, then love another.

Secondly, just try to talk more often if you want to get closer to her. But only do so if you notice that she'd like so too. Not in a relationship-way at first, just as acquaintances and maybe friends.

Do what you did when you you made her laugh that one lunchtime. You ended up at the same lunch table (or whatever) as her, make sure that happens again. You managed once, no reason why it couldn't happen twice.

 

[Raikov]

Ahh. Youth. The time in your life when fear and insecurities rule your life.

We've all been there. Just sit at her table, with as few sharing it as possible, and ask what she likes to do on her free time. And for Petes sake, ask smoothly...

After that, just use your imagination. You'll discover pretty fast if she'll fit into your life.

 

[ReubenRosco]

Sadly, it really is a case of just working up the confidence. I've been there, and while it took a bit of time to get over the awkwardness, it does really pay off to just act like your confident, even when it's just put on. If this girl's really worth it, you've gotta try. And I'm not saying it'll pay off, but you'll definitely regret it more if you don't even get the chance to find out.

Or, based on your avatar, you could always try and recreate the conditions of Teenage Dirtbag... Maybe make that plan B.

 

[Lust]

First love yourself, then love another.

Secondly, just try to talk more often if you want to get closer to her. But only do so if you notice that she'd like so too. Not in a relationship-way at first, just as acquaintances and maybe friends.

This, a thousand times this!

I've had a few times when I have come off as too strong. Trying to jump into a relationship without getting to know the person. It always seems to end badly.

OT: Just remember to take things at your own pace. If it doesn't work out, don't let it get you down.

 

[Minch]

First; fix the social awkwardness and confidence thing. Even if you'd manage to get together odds are that a relationship would ultimately fail. First love yourself, then love another.

Secondly, just try to talk more often if you want to get closer to her. But only do so if you notice that she'd like so too. Not in a relationship-way at first, just as acquaintances and maybe friends.

Do what you did when you you made her laugh that one lunchtime. You ended up at the same lunch table (or whatever) as her, make sure that happens again. You managed once, no reason why it couldn't happen twice.

I agree with this. Also, if you made her laugh once then you know she likes your sense of humour, so why not look a her and smile after you've said something, eye contact and confidence will make a huge difference and it'll let her know that you've noticed her and that you're interested. Obviously staring wildly is a nono, but just make her feel like you've noticed her, and try to subtly let her know that you're paying extra attention to her.
Other than that, good luck

 

[Brandon237]

Get to know her as a friend first, from there things happen naturally, it worked for me and many people I've known and it leads to a stabler relationship anyway.

 

[TheNamlessGuy]

DELETED

 

[quiet_samurai]

Awww, you kids and your cute little romatic issues, thinking there is a one and magical singular solution.

Anyways, sounds like you just have confidence issues, as having been already stated by others. Just talk to her man, she obviously knows who you are by being your facebook friend and she probably remembers you from when she sat at the table with you and laughed. And the fact that you were actually able to sit there and make a group of people laugh, her included, just shows that you really aren't the social retard you claim to be.

You know what the best and yet saddest part of insecurities are? They are usually completely only in your own mind and don't even truly fucking exist.

Just do this, next time you see her sitting at a table or whatever.

Sit down with her and say "Hey you are in (whatever class you two are in) right? Yeah I remember you sat at the same table during lunch that one day."

Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy, just talk to her, you'd be suprised at how friendly most females are, not to mention they are people just like us... not mysterious creatures from another land.

 

[SnipErlite]

I'm in my first relationship right now, and that started this Saturday!

Congratulations, good luck and try not to become too obsessive and one night your partner wakes up in the middle of the night and you're there on their windowsill, watching...staring....

"Just checkin' up on ya"

Yeah. That's a bit for a turn-off for most people.


OT: Ask BonsaiK. Heh.

Although the best advice is always gonna start with "talk to her". Just strike up a conversation, see where it heads - you might just get along really well, you might not - There's only one way to find out

 

[Valkyrie101]

So, I just started in sixth form this year, and there's a new girl who I maybe kinda-sorta like. The problems are twofold. One, although she's in my form, she has no lessons with me, and she hardly ever seems to be around outside lessons, which makes it difficult to see her at all. Second, I'm a socially awkward nerd with slightly more than zero confidence, who's never had a girlfriend and doesn't really "get" girls (not self-pity, just the facts). So the question is, Escapists, what do I do? How do I approach her without managing to look like a prick?

Some slightly relevant facts for consideration: I've added her on Facebook, and I think I managed to make a decent impression one lunchtime when I was sat on her table, when I made her laugh a few times (not talking directly to her, but to the group as a whole).

...

Are you my clone?!

Yes...

 

[TheNamlessGuy]

DELETED

 

[hyperhammy]

You know what? This will make me sound like an asshole,
but get an ugly girl to pratice the routine with first...

 

[Valkyrie101]

You know what? This will make me sound like an asshole,
but get an ugly girl to pratice the routine with first...

I would, but they're all out of my league.

 

[Brandon237]

I'm gonna go with:
Talk with her some more.
Then invite her to do something she enjoys, but strictly as friends.
Do that about 2-3 times.
Then ask her out.
If she says no, act all depressed and go "Still friends?".

Although, heads up, I'm not an expert.
I'm in my first relationship right now, and that started this Saturday!

Congratz Namless! You have now acquired 1 internet bragging point...

My first started about three months ago, we were good friends and then well, your advice sorta happened on its own... But luckily the last sentence was not needed at any point...

 

[hyperhammy]

You know what? This will make me sound like an asshole,
but get an ugly girl to pratice the routine with first...

I would, but they're all out of my league.

"Leagues" don't even really exist... be more confident!