(Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit unprofessional blog post written by an unprofessional blog poster. All purported facts and statement are little more than the subjective, biased opinion of said blog poster. In other words, don't take anything I say too seriously. I enjoyed all 5 Michael Bay Transformers films, for crying out loud.)
Just the facts 'Cause you're in a Hurry!
Ticket Price: Will Vary Theater to Theater
How much I paid: Nothing. A friend took me to a screening.
Rated: PG-13 for sci-fi violence and action.
Running time: 142 minutes (2 Hours and 22 Minutes)
3-D: Yes, but I didn't see it in 3-D.
Post-Credits Sequences: None.
My Personal Biases: I've watched all of the main Star Wars films. I'm mixed on the Phantom Menace. I actually like Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. I like the Original Trilogy. I'm okay on The Force Awakens. I actually really like Rogue One. I do not actively dislike the Last Jedi. I haven't seen any of the Star Wars Cartoons past Rebels. I have not seen Solo or the Mandalorian. Knights of the Old Republic 1 and 2 are among my favorite games. I had a subscription to the Star Wars: The Old Republic MMO. I haven't played Jedi Fallen Order. I have not read any of the Star Wars books.
Did you read the leaks online: Yes.
Are the leaks close to the theatrical release?: Pretty much, though a subplot about Lando Calrissian's long lost daughter seems to have been removed.
Wait, is Rose Tico in this?: Yes, but she's basically a background character. She hangs around the Resistance base delivering exposition with Leia.
Is Admiral Holdo in this?: Not that I saw. I heard people say she's a voiceover Force Ghost but the ghosts's voices overlap so much, I couldn't tell one voice from the other.
My Verdict: After all that?s said and done, it feels like the sequel trilogy doesn't add up to the sum of its individual parts. It feels as though Abrams and Johnson's visions for Star Wars have vastly differed and without someone such as producer Kevin Feige to oversee the plotline, it sort of feels like a mess. Still, I had fun.
(Warning: SPOILERS ahead!)
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, a Spoiler Review
Ever since Disney acquired LucasFilms, there's been a curiousity that Disney would make the new Star Wars films better than the prequel trilogy of George Lucas' vision. After the divisive reaction between fans and critics over The Last Jedi, what will returning director J.J. Abrams do?
Ladies and Gentlemen, Haters and Fans, HK units and Meatbags, this is a review of Star Wars: Rise of the Skywalker.
One year after the Battle of Crait, Kylo Ren obtains a Sith Wayfinder device and travels to the planet Exegol. He discovers a physically impaired Palpatine, who reveals he created Snoke as a puppet to control the First Order and lure Kylo to the dark side. Palpatine unveils a secret armada of Star Destroyers and tells Kylo to find Rey, who is continuing her Jedi training under General Leia Organa. Meanwhile, Finn, Poe, and Chewbacca retrieve information on Kylo's discovery originating from a First Order mole. After learning that Palpatine has returned, Rey discovers notes on a Sith artifact in the Jedi texts Luke Skywalker left behind. Rey, Poe, Finn, Chewbacca, BB-8, and C-3PO leave for Passanna to seek a contact Luke knew, while R2-D2 stays behind with Leia.
Rey and Kylo Ren's lightsaber duels are nothing compared to the dueling tones and continuities' of Rian Johnson's revisionist take and J.J. Abrams overwhelming need to pay tribute to the Original Trilogy.
It feels especially after the mixed reception from the Last Jedi, Rise of the Skywalker is the film they made to appease everyone, even going so far as to contradict the last movie. I have an easier time believing Ant-man and the Guardians of the Galaxy belong in the same cinematic franchise than The Last Jedi and Rise of the Skywalker.
I'm going to spoil the film so I'll give my verdict and explain how I felt after the cut. If you don't want to be spoiled, look away now!
Verdict: Matinee and turn your brain off.
LAST CHANCE TO TURN BACK BEFORE I SPOIL THE FILM.
CAVEAT: You know what's weird? For all talk about continuity and lore and fanservice, the one franchise I do think accomplishes what the new Star Wars trilogy was trying to do is the Marvel Cinematic Universe (which is also a Disney owned subsidiary AND promotes an inclusive globalist message). I realize the strength of the MCU comes from the fact they can do prequels, sequels and side stories in the universe and develop individual characters and do ensemble pieces since all the character work is in the other movies.
Meanwhile, Rise of the Skywalker is overstuffed with giving each of the characters screentime, dealing with the continuity and paying homage to the original movies.
However I feel about Rey, Finn, Poe, Kylo Ren, Rose and BB-8, it just doesn't seem to mesh together as seamlessly as Groot meeting Steve Rogers.
Does that feel weird to anyone else?
In a film franchise that gave us Midichlorians, Pod Racing, Jar Jar, the Clones, and Boss Nass, it doesn't really surprise me that the silly stuff here is going to be added among those. The effects are handsome looking, the score is awesome and I'll probably bring my family to a screening just to spend the Holidays together, but it didn't really come together for me.
I don't need a retcon. I don't need an extended cut. I won't sign a petition asking for LucasFilms to rewrite the movie. And I don't think people that genuinely enjoyed this movie are paid shills (which clearly doesn't work since this film has a Rotten Critic score on Rotten Tomatoes).
To me, this silly movie is just as canon as Anakin Skywalker being a snot nosed 9 year old who said cheesy lines about angels to older women. And I'll buy the Rifftrax track for this film so I can rewatch it again with the commentary.
Then again, what do I know? I'm just some anonymous jerk on the internet.
Just the facts 'Cause you're in a Hurry!
Ticket Price: Will Vary Theater to Theater
How much I paid: Nothing. A friend took me to a screening.
Rated: PG-13 for sci-fi violence and action.
Running time: 142 minutes (2 Hours and 22 Minutes)
3-D: Yes, but I didn't see it in 3-D.
Post-Credits Sequences: None.
My Personal Biases: I've watched all of the main Star Wars films. I'm mixed on the Phantom Menace. I actually like Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. I like the Original Trilogy. I'm okay on The Force Awakens. I actually really like Rogue One. I do not actively dislike the Last Jedi. I haven't seen any of the Star Wars Cartoons past Rebels. I have not seen Solo or the Mandalorian. Knights of the Old Republic 1 and 2 are among my favorite games. I had a subscription to the Star Wars: The Old Republic MMO. I haven't played Jedi Fallen Order. I have not read any of the Star Wars books.
Did you read the leaks online: Yes.
Are the leaks close to the theatrical release?: Pretty much, though a subplot about Lando Calrissian's long lost daughter seems to have been removed.
Wait, is Rose Tico in this?: Yes, but she's basically a background character. She hangs around the Resistance base delivering exposition with Leia.
Is Admiral Holdo in this?: Not that I saw. I heard people say she's a voiceover Force Ghost but the ghosts's voices overlap so much, I couldn't tell one voice from the other.
My Verdict: After all that?s said and done, it feels like the sequel trilogy doesn't add up to the sum of its individual parts. It feels as though Abrams and Johnson's visions for Star Wars have vastly differed and without someone such as producer Kevin Feige to oversee the plotline, it sort of feels like a mess. Still, I had fun.
(Warning: SPOILERS ahead!)
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, a Spoiler Review
Ever since Disney acquired LucasFilms, there's been a curiousity that Disney would make the new Star Wars films better than the prequel trilogy of George Lucas' vision. After the divisive reaction between fans and critics over The Last Jedi, what will returning director J.J. Abrams do?
Ladies and Gentlemen, Haters and Fans, HK units and Meatbags, this is a review of Star Wars: Rise of the Skywalker.
One year after the Battle of Crait, Kylo Ren obtains a Sith Wayfinder device and travels to the planet Exegol. He discovers a physically impaired Palpatine, who reveals he created Snoke as a puppet to control the First Order and lure Kylo to the dark side. Palpatine unveils a secret armada of Star Destroyers and tells Kylo to find Rey, who is continuing her Jedi training under General Leia Organa. Meanwhile, Finn, Poe, and Chewbacca retrieve information on Kylo's discovery originating from a First Order mole. After learning that Palpatine has returned, Rey discovers notes on a Sith artifact in the Jedi texts Luke Skywalker left behind. Rey, Poe, Finn, Chewbacca, BB-8, and C-3PO leave for Passanna to seek a contact Luke knew, while R2-D2 stays behind with Leia.
Rey and Kylo Ren's lightsaber duels are nothing compared to the dueling tones and continuities' of Rian Johnson's revisionist take and J.J. Abrams overwhelming need to pay tribute to the Original Trilogy.
It feels especially after the mixed reception from the Last Jedi, Rise of the Skywalker is the film they made to appease everyone, even going so far as to contradict the last movie. I have an easier time believing Ant-man and the Guardians of the Galaxy belong in the same cinematic franchise than The Last Jedi and Rise of the Skywalker.
I'm going to spoil the film so I'll give my verdict and explain how I felt after the cut. If you don't want to be spoiled, look away now!
Verdict: Matinee and turn your brain off.
LAST CHANCE TO TURN BACK BEFORE I SPOIL THE FILM.
-Rey is Palpatine's Granddaughter. Kylo continues his rant from The Last Jedi and explains her parents became nobodies BECAUSE they were Palpatine?s children and gave everything up to make sure Rey was kept away from him.
-Rey, Finn and Poe go along a journey to find Palpatine and kill him once and for all before he destroys the galaxy, such as finding Sith Daggers and erasing C-3P0's memory to find the coordinates.
-Rey and Kylo Ren have a fight on a sunken portion of the Death Star and Rey kills Kylo Ren in a fight. Kylo Ren was distracted because Leia "used the last of her powers" to redeem Kylo Ren, thus giving Rey the opportunity to stab him. Rey heals Kylo Ren and steals his ship to go back to the planet in the Last Jedi. She does this because she's afraid of becoming a Palpatine. Leia dies because of this (probably to pay tribute to Carrie Fisher). Poe becomes the new general of the Resistance.
-Force Ghost Luke talks to Rey while a vision of Han (it's unclear if he's a Force Ghost or just a vision in Kylo Ren's head because he isn't blue and transparent like Luke) and Han redeems him. (I'm guessing and, this is pure speculation from my part, that the scene originally had Leia come back as a Force Ghost, as in she would be the one to succeed in redeeming Kylo Ren where Luke and Han failed, but Carrie Fisher sadly passed away before the scene could be photographed.)
-Palpatine unleashes a fleet of Star Destroyers, each equipped with leftover pieces of the Death Star, meaning each Star Destroyer has the capability of destroying a planet. (Can we please have something besides the Death Star to be the final weapons? There's been a plethora of other doomsday weapons we could use, we don?t need to keep going back to this one. Hell, SWTOR came up with a bunch of doomsday weapons.). The Resistance goes in one final battle to stop him.
-Rey confronts Palpatine and Palpatine attempts to taunt her to killing him, risking her friends dying to the fleet. If she does so, "all of the Sith" spirits will transfer into her. A redeemed Ben Solo comes in to save her. Using their Force Bond, Rey sneaks a Lightsaber to Ben while she uses another one to deflect Palpatine's Lightning.
-Ben and Rey both confront Palpatine but Palpatine uses the Force to extract the Bond from them and let him power up his Sith Lightning so it's capable of shooting up to the sky and destroying Resistance ships.
-Palpatine throws Ben over a Ravine and states "And so the Last of the Skywalkers Falls".
-Palpatine shoots Lightning at Rey but Rey deflects the Lightning to Palpatine. Palpatine states "I am all of the Sith" to which Rey replies "And I am All of the Jedi". She successfully kills Palpatine but it causes her to die as well, allowing the Resistance to defeat the Star Destroyer armada and save the galaxy.
-Ben climbs up the Ravine and sees a Dead Rey. Using the technique Rey used to heal him, he successfully brings Rey back to life. They share a kiss on the lips but then he dies.
-The Resistance meets up on a jungle planet and everyone hugs each other. Moz gives Chewbacca a medal. (I liked that part). Rey, Finn and Poe all hug each other.
-In the final scene, Rey returns to the burned Lars residence and buries Luke and Leia's lightsabers. She draws out her own lightsaber which has an orange / yellow hue. A stranger passes by and asks her name. Rey, after seeing the Force Ghosts of Luke and Leia in the distance, answers, "Rey Skywalker", adopting the name of her masters. She and BB-8 walk off to the twin sunsets of Tatooine and the film ends.
Obviously, there?s a lot to go over so I'll just post my thoughts.
I don't dislike Rey, but she feels too much like a series of reveals. I don't think she's a Mary Sue, but the living embodiment of J.J. Abrams' Mystery Box, where in there's always some sort of twist to her character. I don't even mind the reveal that she's Palpatine's granddaughter and the final climax of the film is her rejecting her biological family in favor of her new family. It's too bad that the other protagonists, Finn and Poe, don't have much to do because their individual arcs wrapped up in the Last Jedi. Sure, there's lipservice to the idea that Poe will be the new General following in Leia's footsteps and Finn is still around because, as a former First Order soldier, he knows his way around ships, but they feel really perfunctory while Rey gets the spotlight.
I realize the reason I dislike the idea of Leia being Force Sensitive isn't so much the Retcons to continuity but moreso the idea that she's an accomplished General because she had Force Sensitivity as opposed to being just a capable woman. It's inadvertently stating "This woman is awesome because she had space magic" as opposed to "this woman is awesome because she didn't need Space Magic to get the job done". It's funny; producer Kathleen Kennedy was trying make the vision of a Female Jedi cool (which I can totally believe she's genuine in that vision), but in doing so, it makes non-Force users such as Finn and Poe seem useless. To me, personally, I would have preferred (not demanded but preferred) that both Ben and Rey defeat Palpatine together and they both inherit the Skywalker surname. It feels like Rian Johnson was setting up parallel storylines of Ben and Rey to join together to be the new Jedi order but for whatever reason, they killed off Ben. They want to set up that Luke and Leia were a Force-sensitive Duo, but they don't do the same for Rey and Ben? Maybe, this should have been "Rise of the Skywalkers" instead of "Rise of the Skywalker".
Apparently Finn skipped that part of Stormtrooper orientation about Jet Packs.
Apparently, you can also plug in ancient Sith Holocrons to your ship and it will still be legible for Future Generations. Always forward thinking those ancient Sith Lords.
-Rey, Finn and Poe go along a journey to find Palpatine and kill him once and for all before he destroys the galaxy, such as finding Sith Daggers and erasing C-3P0's memory to find the coordinates.
-Rey and Kylo Ren have a fight on a sunken portion of the Death Star and Rey kills Kylo Ren in a fight. Kylo Ren was distracted because Leia "used the last of her powers" to redeem Kylo Ren, thus giving Rey the opportunity to stab him. Rey heals Kylo Ren and steals his ship to go back to the planet in the Last Jedi. She does this because she's afraid of becoming a Palpatine. Leia dies because of this (probably to pay tribute to Carrie Fisher). Poe becomes the new general of the Resistance.
-Force Ghost Luke talks to Rey while a vision of Han (it's unclear if he's a Force Ghost or just a vision in Kylo Ren's head because he isn't blue and transparent like Luke) and Han redeems him. (I'm guessing and, this is pure speculation from my part, that the scene originally had Leia come back as a Force Ghost, as in she would be the one to succeed in redeeming Kylo Ren where Luke and Han failed, but Carrie Fisher sadly passed away before the scene could be photographed.)
-Palpatine unleashes a fleet of Star Destroyers, each equipped with leftover pieces of the Death Star, meaning each Star Destroyer has the capability of destroying a planet. (Can we please have something besides the Death Star to be the final weapons? There's been a plethora of other doomsday weapons we could use, we don?t need to keep going back to this one. Hell, SWTOR came up with a bunch of doomsday weapons.). The Resistance goes in one final battle to stop him.
-Rey confronts Palpatine and Palpatine attempts to taunt her to killing him, risking her friends dying to the fleet. If she does so, "all of the Sith" spirits will transfer into her. A redeemed Ben Solo comes in to save her. Using their Force Bond, Rey sneaks a Lightsaber to Ben while she uses another one to deflect Palpatine's Lightning.
-Ben and Rey both confront Palpatine but Palpatine uses the Force to extract the Bond from them and let him power up his Sith Lightning so it's capable of shooting up to the sky and destroying Resistance ships.
-Palpatine throws Ben over a Ravine and states "And so the Last of the Skywalkers Falls".
-Palpatine shoots Lightning at Rey but Rey deflects the Lightning to Palpatine. Palpatine states "I am all of the Sith" to which Rey replies "And I am All of the Jedi". She successfully kills Palpatine but it causes her to die as well, allowing the Resistance to defeat the Star Destroyer armada and save the galaxy.
-Ben climbs up the Ravine and sees a Dead Rey. Using the technique Rey used to heal him, he successfully brings Rey back to life. They share a kiss on the lips but then he dies.
-The Resistance meets up on a jungle planet and everyone hugs each other. Moz gives Chewbacca a medal. (I liked that part). Rey, Finn and Poe all hug each other.
-In the final scene, Rey returns to the burned Lars residence and buries Luke and Leia's lightsabers. She draws out her own lightsaber which has an orange / yellow hue. A stranger passes by and asks her name. Rey, after seeing the Force Ghosts of Luke and Leia in the distance, answers, "Rey Skywalker", adopting the name of her masters. She and BB-8 walk off to the twin sunsets of Tatooine and the film ends.
Obviously, there?s a lot to go over so I'll just post my thoughts.
I don't dislike Rey, but she feels too much like a series of reveals. I don't think she's a Mary Sue, but the living embodiment of J.J. Abrams' Mystery Box, where in there's always some sort of twist to her character. I don't even mind the reveal that she's Palpatine's granddaughter and the final climax of the film is her rejecting her biological family in favor of her new family. It's too bad that the other protagonists, Finn and Poe, don't have much to do because their individual arcs wrapped up in the Last Jedi. Sure, there's lipservice to the idea that Poe will be the new General following in Leia's footsteps and Finn is still around because, as a former First Order soldier, he knows his way around ships, but they feel really perfunctory while Rey gets the spotlight.
I realize the reason I dislike the idea of Leia being Force Sensitive isn't so much the Retcons to continuity but moreso the idea that she's an accomplished General because she had Force Sensitivity as opposed to being just a capable woman. It's inadvertently stating "This woman is awesome because she had space magic" as opposed to "this woman is awesome because she didn't need Space Magic to get the job done". It's funny; producer Kathleen Kennedy was trying make the vision of a Female Jedi cool (which I can totally believe she's genuine in that vision), but in doing so, it makes non-Force users such as Finn and Poe seem useless. To me, personally, I would have preferred (not demanded but preferred) that both Ben and Rey defeat Palpatine together and they both inherit the Skywalker surname. It feels like Rian Johnson was setting up parallel storylines of Ben and Rey to join together to be the new Jedi order but for whatever reason, they killed off Ben. They want to set up that Luke and Leia were a Force-sensitive Duo, but they don't do the same for Rey and Ben? Maybe, this should have been "Rise of the Skywalkers" instead of "Rise of the Skywalker".
Apparently Finn skipped that part of Stormtrooper orientation about Jet Packs.
Apparently, you can also plug in ancient Sith Holocrons to your ship and it will still be legible for Future Generations. Always forward thinking those ancient Sith Lords.
CAVEAT: You know what's weird? For all talk about continuity and lore and fanservice, the one franchise I do think accomplishes what the new Star Wars trilogy was trying to do is the Marvel Cinematic Universe (which is also a Disney owned subsidiary AND promotes an inclusive globalist message). I realize the strength of the MCU comes from the fact they can do prequels, sequels and side stories in the universe and develop individual characters and do ensemble pieces since all the character work is in the other movies.
Meanwhile, Rise of the Skywalker is overstuffed with giving each of the characters screentime, dealing with the continuity and paying homage to the original movies.
However I feel about Rey, Finn, Poe, Kylo Ren, Rose and BB-8, it just doesn't seem to mesh together as seamlessly as Groot meeting Steve Rogers.
Does that feel weird to anyone else?
In a film franchise that gave us Midichlorians, Pod Racing, Jar Jar, the Clones, and Boss Nass, it doesn't really surprise me that the silly stuff here is going to be added among those. The effects are handsome looking, the score is awesome and I'll probably bring my family to a screening just to spend the Holidays together, but it didn't really come together for me.
I don't need a retcon. I don't need an extended cut. I won't sign a petition asking for LucasFilms to rewrite the movie. And I don't think people that genuinely enjoyed this movie are paid shills (which clearly doesn't work since this film has a Rotten Critic score on Rotten Tomatoes).
To me, this silly movie is just as canon as Anakin Skywalker being a snot nosed 9 year old who said cheesy lines about angels to older women. And I'll buy the Rifftrax track for this film so I can rewatch it again with the commentary.
Then again, what do I know? I'm just some anonymous jerk on the internet.