Step aside King Arthur, Britain has a new hero.

[rosac]

And his name is Wayne Shaw.

Who is this man I hear you ask? Well he is a footballer, but one that is like no other. He laughs in the face of things like athleticism, good diet and sensible footwear. He not only gives fans autographs, he will join them in the bar at half time to ensure they get the interaction every legendary player should have with their followers. He even helped keep the local pie industry afloat, promoting their hot, meaty goods on the national television channel that is the BBC.

Also, he gave a pre match interview in a pair of flip flops. Legend.

I think we can all agree that this man is truly the greatest of Britons who deserves our praise and adoration.

I give you, Wayne Shaw.

 

[Nickolai77]

I guess he prevents the opposition scoring by physically filling the goal!

 

[Samtemdo8_v1legacy]

Bah a mere football player has nothing compared to the MIGHT WARRIOR KING WHO IS A PARAGON OF VIRTUOUS CHIVALRY!!!

 

[Dirty Hipsters]

Bah a mere football player has nothing compared to the MIGHT WARRIOR KING WHO IS A PARAGON OF VIRTUOUS CHIVALRY!!!

Fixed for accuracy.

Spoiler

Anime waifus ruin things once again.

 

[Zykon TheLich_v1legacy]

Truly, the greatest living Briton. God save Wayne Shaw.

 

[pookie101]

are you sure hes not Australian?

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

Well it's always nice to be reminded of why national stereotypes still exist. Godspeed!

 

[Zykon TheLich_v1legacy]

Sad news...he's resigned. All part of pie based gambling scandle.

EDIT: a more complete report

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/fa-league-cups/sutton-united-goalkeeper-wayne-shaw-eats-pie-bet-stun-morrisons-arsenal-betting-a7591326.html

 

[Recusant]

I was going to point out that Arthur was king of the Britons, and the historical figure the legend is based on would've been fighting like mad to keep the Saxons out; returning and finding their country full of Englishmen likely wouldn't've ended well- thus concluding with a hearty endorsement of this glorious pie-eating hero. But then I read this:

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/fa-league-cups/sutton-united-goalkeeper-wayne-shaw-eats-pie-bet-stun-morrisons-arsenal-betting-a7591326.html

and I realized that in a addition to his already-praised virtues, he prompted the saying (and subsequent reporting) of the phrase "We were really impressed by his commitment to pie eating", and that my humble endorsement isn't nearly enough. Godspeed, Wayne Shaw.

 

[Catnip1024]

Well, if the bookies put odds on stupid stuff like that, they are kind of asking for it.

A true hero...

 

[FalloutJack]

are you sure hes not Australian?

As explained in The Grant Tour, anyone even mildly-associated with Britain who isn't British but becomes successful and famous...becomes British.

 

[Souplex]

I'm confuzzled. You claim he's a footballer, but he seems to be playing Communist kickball, and not the sport of football which is played with a ball that is a foot long. I don't even know how you'd play football in Britain since they use a logical measurement system and as such don't acknowledge feet.

 

[rosac]

are you sure hes not Australian?

As explained in The Grant Tour, anyone even mildly-associated with Britain who isn't British but becomes successful and famous...becomes British.

To be fair, the patron saint of England was of Greek origin.

I was going to point out that Arthur was king of the Britons, and the historical figure the legend is based on would've been fighting like mad to keep the Saxons out; returning and finding their country full of Englishmen likely wouldn't've ended well- thus concluding with a hearty endorsement of this glorious pie-eating hero

Arthur keeps out saxons, Wayne keeps out goals. I see little difference.

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

What's his goal stopping / clean sheets stats like? Who cares if he's a jumbo-sized, lard arse if he has the stopping power of a .44 Magnum.

If he's Australian he's just keeping up with the fine old tradition of VFL players having a smoke, beer and pie at half time. Bloody AFL sanitising things.

 

[rosac]

are you sure hes not Australian?

As explained in The Grant Tour, anyone even mildly-associated with Britain who isn't British but becomes successful and famous...becomes British.

To be fair, the patron saint of England was of Greek origin.

I was going to point out that Arthur was king of the Britons, and the historical figure the legend is based on would've been fighting like mad to keep the Saxons out; returning and finding their country full of Englishmen likely wouldn't've ended well- thus concluding with a hearty endorsement of this glorious pie-eating hero

Arthur keeps out saxons, Wayne keeps out goals. I see little difference.