Strange Childhood Delusions

[Nemorov]

So I was eating lunch today and something reminded me of those bizarre little things I believed to be the true way of the world when I was a little kid.

For instance... There was no doubt in my mind that my yard was infested with pirates. A whole ship of cutthroats, in fact, lead by the infamous 'Captain Blood Beard'. Made perfect sense to me at the time--of course their ships could sail through grass, they were freaking pirates! My father planted this delusion in my head one night when I asked him outright why I wasn't allowed to play outside after dark, even going so far as to plant 'treasure' and 'maps' places in the house and yard for me to find. Little did he know I would really take it to heart.

Another was the 'Paboch,' a cousin to the Boogey-Man. I was freaking terrified of the basement. He lived down there with a giant cobweb named Boris, who secretly ran the house. This was the true way of the world. Again, all the fault of my father... if he had to be tormented by these things as a child, why the hell shouldn't his kid?

So that got me curious. What oddities did you guys whole-heartedly believe as a child?

(Search bar safe, so far as I can tell... and no, I will never stop saying that when I post.)

 

[Jedoro]

That the world was a good place

 

[Pandalisk]

Werewolves will come kill me eventually, and if i say they dont exist in my mind they will come kick my ass.

I beleived in santa, so my sister and myself ruined that for my younger brother when we wised up (he was shot down over Normandy during ww2, yes yes were cruel)

So he had a belief that the dinosaurs in jurrasic park, and the dinosaurs that are in that documentary about dinosairs which is made alot like steve irwins old show, i forget its name. Were still alive today and living in a dinosaur park in Florida, that wasnt my doing ethier *Cough*

 

[ghalkhsdkssakgh]

I was always terrified of getting out of bed at night when I was younger. I always imagined that a pair of scaly, clawed hands would shoot out and grab my ankles, pulling me under.
(This may have been partially fuelled by a certain Calvin and Hobbes strip).

I was also afraid of standing at the bottom of the stairs and looking up to the top. I always had this image of some black, hairy, grinning creature standing at the top. I'm not sure where this image would go after that. I'm sure it wasn't pleasant.

 

[Yoshemo]

Every man marries a beautiful woman, parents have unlimited money, my teacher is an alien puppet, and everything is fair

 

[L4hlborg]

The existance of santa. I was actually really determined to prove that he existed when I was told he doesn't.

 

[ghalkhsdkssakgh]

That the world was a good place

The second was a fair world.

Suffice it to say, neither turned out to exist.

Why is everyone here so jaded?

 

[curlycrouton]

That all my family were robots, and only I knew.

I was a paranoid child.

 

[JRCB]

Large, blue vampires. Honestly, it was so damn weird. Also, I believed that good things would never end. I believed that my parents were happy together. I was wrong on both accounts.

 

[Jedoro]

That the world was a good place

The second was a fair world.

Suffice it to say, neither turned out to exist.

Why is everyone here so jaded?

I'm not quite jaded. I mean, I'm going to college to be a police officer. I just know it's nowhere near as good as I thought it was when I was a kid.

I know I'll never change the world, but I want to make it better around here. I want to make a difference in at least one person's life. Searching for or creating some kind of good in this hellhole, isn't quite jaded.

I'm one guy, I won't do much, but I'll do what I can.

 

[Sigel]

I believed there was something evil in the closet that would kill me if it got out so the closet door always had to be closed at night. Also I always checked the bathroom ceiling for a dead person/zombie/ghost-thingie. Yeah...I don't know why either.

 

[ghalkhsdkssakgh]

Why is everyone here so jaded?

Because there is no such thing as Santa.
Because love fades.
Because justice is a farce.
Because being horrible is the only way to advance in the world.
Because people who deserve to live, die.

Go ahead and take your pick.

Wow. Now I'm depressed. I'm going to go eat pasta and watch Firefly. That'll cheer me up.

 

[A random person]

The existance of santa. I was actually really determined to prove that he existed when I was told he doesn't.

Santa isn't real? My existence is now meaningless!
*sobs*

But seriously, in kindergarten I briefly thought the fairy in Pinocchio was real. I also thought I could sell my crappy comic book and actually tried once. And anyone remember the Gushers and Airheads commercials? I thought that those would turn my head into fruit and into a balloon, respectively, which made me not want to try them. To this day I still wonder who the hell thought those would sell candy.

Basically, just the usual.

Oh, and I'm different from a lot of you in that I don't think the world is simply crap. We just, in our irrational social influence over each other (aka society), give ourselves a case of the stupids.

 

[XJ-0461]

That there was an alien in my cupboard and that Bigfoot would come into my room and kill me. I know better know though.

The alien is actually in Area 51 and Bigfoot was shot and stored in some guy's freezer.

 

[Bat Vader]

That the world was a good place

The second was a fair world.

Suffice it to say, neither turned out to exist.

Why is everyone here so jaded?

The world made us that way I am guessing.

 

[Golden Gryphon]

I slept with my back against the wall for years because I just knew that if any vampires or werewolves came for me in the night, as long as I could see them, they couldn't harm me.

I also refused to flush the toilet at night and always took a running jump into my bed. At one point, when I had a bathroom connected to my room, I was quite proud of the fact that I could get to my bed without touching my bedroom floor.

 

[ghalkhsdkssakgh]

Wow. Now I'm depressed. I'm going to go eat pasta and watch Firefly. That'll cheer me up.

Oh man, that was only the tip of the iceberg.
I've got a lot more.

...Well, at least you have excellent choice in foodstuffs and programming.

Why thank you. And please, I think I've heard enough for today.