stuck in a lie... and also quitting smoking

[cathou]

ok, so i decide to quit smoking... again. i started smoking at 14, stopped at 29, restarted at 31, stopped again 6 months later, started again 3 month after that, and i've been smoking for 2 years in row now, about 10 to 15 cigarettes a day.

each time i quit before, i alwyas had a lot of support from my wife, and it helped me a lot each time.

except that now... well, i'm supposed to have quit for a while. yes, at 33 years old, i'm smoking in secret like a teenager. officially, i've quit in 2011, had a few episode of a week or two where i was smoking and total stop since last summer. even a month ago, my wife asked me : "you didnt start smoking again arent you ?" and i sweared that i had not, wich is indeed a lie. i never smoke at home, and i always manage to hide the smell before i go home.

so it been 72 hours now since my last cigarette. i'm in the worst part of withdraw with heavy physical symptoms : heavy coughing, dizzyness, irritability, lack of concentration, mood swing, shivers, heavy sweating in my sleep, food crave, my hands are shaking a little and my intestines hurt a lot when i'm sitting. But since officially i'm a non-smoker, i cannot really tell this to my wife, and in fact i must hide it, so i'm faking a flu right now to explain the coughing and the sweating. So to get out of my initial lie, i must pull another one...

So, do you have experiences to share where you were stuck in a lie like this ?

or any experience in quitting smoking ?

 

[lRookiel]

I have never smoked, however I have told a few lies in my 19 years.. Worst ones at college where I kept saying I was on top of my work when in reality I was far behind. Still I got top grades when I finished due to my ability to work under pressure :3

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I used to have to hide being stoned a lot to my parents, but given my usual state it wasn't hard to cover up hunger, tiredness and being quiet. The smell was a bit of a bugger, but they never seemed to notice.

The only lies I can remember getting into that were a real pain were generally to do with schoolwork. I'd say I'd started on something, when I hadn't, and so I didn't turn up to the lesson, so I fell further behind, and so on, and so on. Thankfully my mum has an english degree and my english teacher was fairly understanding (I was a bit of a state when I was doing my A-levels). I don't consider myself lazy, I'm motivationally challenged.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

OP, have you tried those new E-lights? Electronic cigarettes?

I've hear people swear by them as the next best thing, you get nicotine, the 'smoke' is water vapour, and you get the tactile feedback of holding a cigarette.

They're cheaper than tobacco and aren't nearly as bad for you.

 

[Superbeast]

Ouch! I have recently quit smoking, though I only smoked for about 4 years so I can only imagine that it is much harder for you after smoking for so long.

I have not had a cigarette since...November, but I am still struggling with the psychological addiction (having been diagnosed with a generalised anxiety disorder, which I apparently was using cigarettes to control the worst aspects of). I did not really have any physical side-effects except for the mood swings and some shakes. On the subject of the stomach pains, cigarettes do have laxative effects so you might be suffering from constipation - either increase the amount of fibre you are consuming or obtain some sort of anti-constipation remedy.

What aids are you using to help you quit? I can highly recommend Champix pills (available in the UK through your doctor) - they were absolutely brilliant, much better than any sort of patch or electronic cigarette or any of that.

To be honest, I would seek medical help to quit (either with pills or electronic cigarettes) and either take those in secret, or just come clean with your wife - or even sort-of lie a little more and say that you relapsed again recently, but you're seeking medial help to quit. I do not know how it differs in Canada, but here in the UK there are many services that would be happy to help.

Hopefully I've been somewhat helpful, even if I have rambled on a bit.

 

[cathou]

Ouch! I have recently quit smoking, though I only smoked for about 4 years so I can only imagine that it is much harder for you after smoking for so long.

I have not had a cigarette since...November, but I am still struggling with the psychological addiction (having been diagnosed with a generalised anxiety disorder, which I apparently was using cigarettes to control the worst aspects of). I did not really have any physical side-effects except for the mood swings and some shakes. On the subject of the stomach pains, cigarettes do have laxative effects so you might be suffering from constipation - either increase the amount of fibre you are consuming or obtain some sort of anti-constipation remedy.

What aids are you using to help you quit? I can highly recommend Champix pills (available in the UK through your doctor) - they were absolutely brilliant, much better than any sort of patch or electronic cigarette or any of that.

To be honest, I would seek medical help to quit (either with pills or electronic cigarettes) and either take those in secret, or just come clean with your wife - or even sort-of lie a little more and say that you relapsed again recently, but you're seeking medial help to quit. I do not know how it differs in Canada, but here in the UK there are many services that would be happy to help.

Hopefully I've been somewhat helpful, even if I have rambled on a bit.

I use nothing, I've just stop. I don't like the idea of using meds. I've quit a few addictions before (I think I just have an easily addicted body I guess) and I've always stop without medication.

I didn't try e-cig, but I've heard pretty nasty things about them.

 

[MetalDooley]

I feel your pain dude.I quit cold turkey 6 months ago(like yourself I don't believe in using any meds or other crutches) after smoking for nearly 17 years and the first week was hell.I guess the only advice I can give is stick with it as supposedly the first 3 days are the worst so you're nearly through that(although you've quit before so I'm sure you're already aware of that).It's been 6 months now and apart from the occasional brief pang when I'm out with friends,several of whom still smoke,I don't miss them at all.I'm feeling better now than I have done in years

As for the lying yeah I've been there.I told my mother that I quit smoking when I was 27(I'm 35 now)mainly just to shut her up as she's one of those people who believes that the best way to get someone to quit is to nag them constantly about it.Once you get into a lie like that it's hard to get out of it

 

[antidonkey]

It's been almost a year since my last session of quitting smoking. I've quit many time and gone back but every time I quit, I do two things. One is to stay distracted. Any distraction helps. TV, Movies, and especially video games do the trick for me. Number two....well, that to cheat. When quitting, if I get to the point where I feel like I'm about to break and buy a pack of smokes, I bum one or two from another smoker. I work with plenty of them. So long as I don't buy a pack I'm usually fine but if I buy a pack, I'm going to smoke a pack and that will just lead me back into the habit.

 

[HardkorSB]

I always wonder, what makes people take their first puff and be like: "This is good, I want another one".

Not to be preachy but I saw my aunt die before my eyes from lung cancer which was caused by her smoking a pack a day.
I also saw my mom go into a coma for 2 weeks from smoking as well. No lung cancer luckily, she ONLY gets asthma attacks every now and then.

Here's how you should go about with quitting smoking:
From now on, whenever you finish a cigarette, just slap yourself in the face. Don't be a sissy, take a nice swing and slap as hard as you can. Be thorough with it, a slap for every single cigarette, right after finishing it. That way, your brain will start making a subconscious connection between smoking and being slapped in the face and your urge to smoke will most likely drop.

Also, here's a random fact:
That feeling of relaxation that you get after smoking a cigarette isn't caused by the cigarette but by you doing deep breathing while inhaling and exhaling the fumes. Doing that without the cigarette for the same amount of time would have similar results (minus the slowly killing yourself part).

 

[Xarathox]

OP, have you tried those new E-lights? Electronic cigarettes?

I've hear people swear by them as the next best thing, you get nicotine, the 'smoke' is water vapour, and you get the tactile feedback of holding a cigarette.

They're cheaper than tobacco and aren't nearly as bad for you.

I'm a smoker, and I use these fairly often when smoking a real cig just isn't possible. Usually during long car rides with non-smokers, etc. I've even used them at work (when I had a job) when I went to the bathroom. They don't leave a smell, so that's a plus.

The only real draw back is the nicotine content seems to be lower than in real cigs, so you either need to take bigger drawls, or "smoke" longer than you normally do. All in all, they work in a pinch.

 

[cathou]

I always wonder, what makes people take their first puff and be like: "This is good, I want another one".

Personally, I've started smoking a bit because of peer pressure, a bit because I was thinking that it was the cool thing to do.

Keep in mind that 1993 was really different than today...

 

[Queen Michael]

So, do you have experiences to share where you were stuck in a lie like this ?

or any experience in quitting smoking ?

Yeah, there was this time when they were discontinuing an ice cram flavor that I love, so I went to the only store in town that had some left, bought it and ran home to get it into the freezer as quickly as possible. And then I ate it less than two weeks later because I just couldn't stop myself.

Actually, that's not related to this, but anyway, it tasted nice.

 

[bananafishtoday]

I always wonder, what makes people take their first puff and be like: "This is good, I want another one".

Not gonna lie: I know this is dumb as hell, but I started because I thought it was cool. I still do, to an extent. There's been a lot of backlash in mainstream culture against that idea for most of my life (I'm 25, started at 16,) but it still carries some degree of weight. A sort of, "I know it's dumb and superficial, but I don't really care." Among my peer groups, smoking is thought of as normal and acceptable, and an "underground" music venue is more likely to allow smoking indoors than not.

 

[Glasgow]

OP, have you tried those new E-lights? Electronic cigarettes?

I've hear people swear by them as the next best thing, you get nicotine, the 'smoke' is water vapour, and you get the tactile feedback of holding a cigarette.

They're cheaper than tobacco and aren't nearly as bad for you.

Toothpicks. The most badass way of getting yourself out of cigarettes.

 

[Psykoma]

i never smoke at home, and i always manage to hide the smell before i go home.

I wish you luck, but

This is just my experience:
- I have met many smokers who claim they hide the smell so no-one can tell that they had smoked.

- I have never met a smoker who actually could hide (from someone who doesn't smoke) that they had smoked in the preceding day-ish.


So unless she's a smoker too, or she thinks that you just hang around with a lot of smokers (like, constantly, and close enough to them to be basically groping), I think it's entirely possible and (imo) quite likely that your wife does already know what's going on.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

My father picked smoking at, like, 12, and quit smoking at 57. If he can do it then there's nothing stopping your healthy-ish lungs from following suit. It's all about motivation.

 

[Woodsey]

You can't really cover the smell, so either your wife does actually know or she should invest in a new nose.

I always wonder, what makes people take their first puff and be like: "This is good, I want another one".

Assuming you take a proper drag and don't just cough your lungs up, there is a certain appeal to them.

 

[Frezzato]

snip

I smoke as well, although my cancer of choice is Skoal Mint. Yeah, that's much worse, so I don't know how much weight my words will have.

I quit one time years ago using the patch. The reason I fell off the wagon is because I thought I didn't need it any more, so I stopped. Then the impulses came back. I didn't follow the popular 3-step plan of lowered nicotine doses.

I think the patch works. It usually irritates the skin, which is why they say not to use the patch in the same spot for at least a week or two. Also, if you leave it on while sleeping you may get intense nightmares (a plus for me, but I'm twisted). In addition, if you wear the patch while smoking or dipping, it may cause a heart attack--too much nicotine. Even while wearing it I still got impulses to go buy a pack, but I discovered that just by waiting 30 seconds I could fight the urge.

I don't know what else to say. You're an adult in a relationship. Perhaps you don't have to be 100% honest, I dunno. Use whatever means you have to quit, because if you really want to quit you will.

 

[cathou]

So unless she's a smoker too, or she thinks that you just hang around with a lot of smokers (like, constantly, and close enough to them to be basically groping), I think it's entirely possible and (imo) quite likely that your wife does already know what's going on.

It's a hard process, but it is possible to hide it.

-I work in an hospital and we have super effective industrial hand soap that kill any odors on my hands. I use it after each time I smoke.
-when I smoke I use the tip of my fingers instead of putting the cigarette between two fingers.
-I always smoke outside my back turned against the wind to have the smoke away from me.
-I have another winter coat that I put on every time I smoke, and remove it after. In summer I have a lab coat.
-I eat a ton of mints each days, and never kiss my wife before I eat and brush my tooth when I come home.

It work but it's hard

 

[blackrave]

snip

There are two things you can do
1.Stop the lies. Just sit down with your wife and tell all, explain that you were afraid of disappointing her, maybe she have some ideas about how to stop smoking.
2.Get a better set of genes... yep, sadly it isn't that easy :/ . Apparently you are from those 2/3rds of humanity that have biological predisposition towards addictions. Since I am from that 1/3rd who isn't, I am in no position to give you advice (or criticize you)
BUT
Maybe try replacing this nicotine addiction with some other, healthier addiction? Running, cycling, swimming, reading, listening to music, gaming, drinking tea, anything goes that can distract your mind and body away from cigarette.
Hope this will somehow help