Taking a moment before the review proper, is it strange to anyone else how in independent or smaller circles of gaming how roguelike elements are wildly popular? It seems like if you have a somewhat stable idea for a game but need to make it pop, adding roguelike features is like a magical spoonful of cocaine into the mix that will suck in those of us who enjoy being brutalized by videogames for entertainment purposes. Even in already established games with core mechanics that aren't suggestive of roguelike features you can usually hit a few buttons in a menu and voila, enjoy your fifty restarts. On the subject of roguelikes, let's talk about Teleglitch; A game that is most certainly not roguelike.
Teleglitch is a top-down shooter currently available on Steam, it's own website, Desura, amazon and oh to hell with it, you can digitally download it wherever you care to do so. It's associated with Paradox Interactive who I primarily know for their strategy games I've never played and their connection with Mount and Blade which, one fateful day a few lifetimes ago, I bought with some pocket change and binged on until my family was forced to stage an intervention around the time I had organized them into an army and conquered Michigan in the name of a homeless man claiming to be the cheated Governor. This connection is how I stumbled on Teleglitch while browsing through their game library and since discovering it I've been banging on about it to my uncaring friends and family. Dedicating a review to it seemed to be the next logical step.
The game is deliberately retro and reminds me pleasantly of those pre-modern bundle games that were graphically designed entirely in MS Paint and usually had two colors per model. You are not only a silent protagonist but also nameless, faceless, personality deprived and as structurally sound as a small refrigerator covered in paper mache, so there is not much room for roleplaying here if you're into that sort of thing. There is however a small framework plot that's two parts basic Sci-fi, one part Syndicate-style ethics void corporate nightmare world and one part Doom. You are involved in an experiment, something goes terribly wrong and you are left to get home through the bodies of your former friends, co-workers and middle managers.
Gameplay is very old school action shooter inspired, drawing it's roots from Doom and Serious Sam in how it handles combat; You versus hordes of various monsters, game set. Movement is simple in the circle-strafe-woosh sort of way and firing is a bit finicky but not too complicated even for a mouse and keyboard. You hold down a button to aim and fire with another, while firing without holding down the aim button allows you to shank enemies with what I can only assume is a void in time and space shaped like a knife. I'm not kidding when I say that this backup knife you're given could only be deadlier if it was tied to an aircraft carrier. Most small groups can be circle strafed with this thing if you have patience and timing to whittle them into piles of goop within a few seconds. I suspect this was given to balance out the unrelenting lack of ammo you have early on in the game which is only mildly mitigated by the game's item crafting and upgrading feature.
Teleglitch is very much in the vein of survival horror games instead of shooters when it comes to ammunition capacity and the power each bullet possesses. The starting pistol you get in the default version of the game for example takes two shots to down basic enemies and while fairly accurate can easily get you overwhelmed if you rely on it too much, meanwhile one of it's first upgrades is a machine pistol version that can hose down small groups but turns accuracy into a concept you'd have only heard about from your Storm Trooper friend while he mocks your aim. Meanwhile you also get a small truckload of random junk here and there that you can, eventually, craft into something useful or make into an upgrade but the game is a bit needlessly reserved on giving you hints about what you can make and it's basic functions, as well as it's drawbacks compared to the normal version. For example you get a grenade launcher early on that is a very handy backup weapon against smaller groups of weaker enemies when you want to conserve, say, shotgun ammo. It's only upgrades give it more barrels to fire out of and while this sounds natural, it's spread is highly minimal leaving you often smacking one enemy with two grenades, keeping in mind you should typically be using it to pelt enemies who will die to a single shot with it anyway. It does give you hints once you've crafted the weapon, perhaps for future playthroughs but it doesn't help when you realize the upgrade you just made does not use the same ammo or serve the same function as it previously did and it is now like whipping the curtain off your doomsday device as you confront Batman only to discover you accidentally replaced it with toothpicks and chewing gum.
Speaking of the enemies the game is fairly varied and challenging with it's enemy types. Mildly fast mutants that run at you like you're dangling cheeseburgers off your face, zombies who stutter-stop a bit but utilize more tactical approaches emphasizing flanking you and spreading out, larger zombies who mix in higher speed and basic projectiles, etc. These are all well and good, however, but the game has a fairly show stopping road spike wherein you often encounter enemies with guns after a certain point and this is where the game became highly frustrating for a while. Without wishing to come off as ill tempered or offend anyone with harsh language, whomever decided that giving basic enemies automatic weapons on the third level was balanced can kindly drink a septic tank. While in your hands the weapons are modestly powerful and sufficient, in the hands of even the most basic enemy a pistol carves off your health like a hot knife through an overused metaphor and if you happen to encounter an enemy with a shotgun while dealing with a horde already chasing you then I hope you like seeing the start of the game again because you'll be best friends with it soon enough.
I suspect and perhaps vehemently insist that the game is called roguelike not to draw attention to it's survival horror-esque inventory management system or it's combat style, or even it's procedural generation system which to me honestly felt no different than plopping the intro room of a level on a different part of the map and just trekking through it like normal, but to justify it's absolutely crap balancing after a certain point. I understand it's meant to be hard and that angrily restarting and getting shit done properly is what's expected, but for the first three days of playing I repeatedly got stuck on level five, not to the pair of incredibly dickish random bosses they barely warn you about, but because I would often walk into a room and be sprayed down with machinegun fire from a basic enemies that shredded me from full health to a pile of gibberish spewing frustration in the doorway. This is not a difficulty curve so much as a cliff edge made of broken glass and spite.
Speaking of Teleglitch's roguelike title, I'd like to clarify why I said in my opening statement that Teleglitch is not a roguelike. See, in my mind a roguelike at it's core has two features; First each time you die you restart the game as if starting a new one with no advantages besides knowledge and experience guiding your path, second that you actually care about it. Teleglitch does not do either of these things particularly well. To start off the list of reasons why and end it on the same point, I'm just going to flat out say it's checkpoint system and leave it at that. Once you reach certain levels you essentially unlock the ability to start from a previous level with a suitable amount of weapons, ammo, health items and upgrade junk to continue on. In my mind Teleglitch is essentially just an action shooter game ala Doom but using the roguelike label to justify it's petty obsession with cheaply brutalizing players for every single mistake.
As an aside that I feel the need to add, buying the Guns and Tunes DLC for this game was a mistake I'd advise against making if you're interested in something to spice up gameplay and only worth it if you want to support the developers. You're essentially buying a few music loops that you have to manually play over the game itself and randomized starting gear that at best is slightly worse than starting with the default pistol and at worst actually cripples you to the point of being actively worse off and leaving you with only a knife and a prayer to survive on.
Now that I've finished sounding incredibly petty, I am going to sit down right now and tell you that dollar for dollar Teleglitch has been one of the most worthwhile purchases I've made in the past few months and that's because while it fails as a roguelike game, it is an absolutely splendid survival horror game. You are utterly isolated and alone in an environment that is hostile to the point of near sentience in it's hatred of you and the tone of the game nicely juxtaposes the careful exploration of the levels with the fast paced and frantic combat against the hordes of creatures you'll encounter. There is no music and the only glimpses of the life your character has now left behind is found in computer logs that detail the facility and it's workings, sometimes coughing up hints or reminders. I have never been as immersed in a game as I have Teleglitch and in rather worrying ways, to the point that I found myself viewing any closed door with caution and upon hearing grunts or wooshing sounds I'd instantly enter a state of panic wherein I tried to figure out if it was safe to backpedal out of the room at full tilt.
The enemies, given their backstory, are uniquely programmed in their odd little way to both resemble monstrous figures and at times glimpses of their former selves and a nice example of this is how sometimes monsters will circle around you in this robotically broken way when they have clear room to attack you but won't initiate it, as if waiting for you to end their miserable lives or for their overseer to flip the murder button. A thing I really like is the infobook you acquire from each thing you make, kill or find that gives you a nice background on things or informs you of their habits and weaknesses, though often these are a bit arbitrary. The robot boss isn't invulnerable to heavy ordnance? Thanks game, I wondered what this anti-tank rifle you gave me was for.
Finally, while I may underscore it a bit, I do really like Teleglitch's framework plot and story a lot more than I should given that essentially what you're playing is a Doom clone with a nailgun. While the force feeding through the screens between menus and the computer prompts is a bit immersion breaking and at times a little silly, it does paint an interesting picture of a future where society has become so corpulent that they've reanimated the dead to work for them and created machines/mutant armies to fight wars for them. It has the makings of an interesting universe if someone decided to adapt it to a more story-focused game, but then it might lose a bit of the charm when they have to explain how hooking up your dead grandmother to a machine that makes her a perfect factory line worker doesn't make you a monster.
Teleglitch is definitely worth the money if you can stand a game that doesn't even try to excuse it's difficulty curve that winds back onto itself until it compresses into a black hole, or if you enjoy games that have emphasis on survival and careful management of your equipment even in the heat of combat. I definitely do not recommend it to hardcore roguelike fans because while the elements are there the shallowness of it's mechanics in that aspect really do not make it worth the title. Teleglitch is definitely frustrating at times and if you're anything like me you'll certainly wish the developers bodily harm after a few surprise machine gun firing squads to the entire body, but it never frustrated me to the point I stopped having fun so much as it frustrated me to the point of forgetting the entire English language and speaking only in broken declarations of rage.
Teleglitch is a top-down shooter currently available on Steam, it's own website, Desura, amazon and oh to hell with it, you can digitally download it wherever you care to do so. It's associated with Paradox Interactive who I primarily know for their strategy games I've never played and their connection with Mount and Blade which, one fateful day a few lifetimes ago, I bought with some pocket change and binged on until my family was forced to stage an intervention around the time I had organized them into an army and conquered Michigan in the name of a homeless man claiming to be the cheated Governor. This connection is how I stumbled on Teleglitch while browsing through their game library and since discovering it I've been banging on about it to my uncaring friends and family. Dedicating a review to it seemed to be the next logical step.
The game is deliberately retro and reminds me pleasantly of those pre-modern bundle games that were graphically designed entirely in MS Paint and usually had two colors per model. You are not only a silent protagonist but also nameless, faceless, personality deprived and as structurally sound as a small refrigerator covered in paper mache, so there is not much room for roleplaying here if you're into that sort of thing. There is however a small framework plot that's two parts basic Sci-fi, one part Syndicate-style ethics void corporate nightmare world and one part Doom. You are involved in an experiment, something goes terribly wrong and you are left to get home through the bodies of your former friends, co-workers and middle managers.
Gameplay is very old school action shooter inspired, drawing it's roots from Doom and Serious Sam in how it handles combat; You versus hordes of various monsters, game set. Movement is simple in the circle-strafe-woosh sort of way and firing is a bit finicky but not too complicated even for a mouse and keyboard. You hold down a button to aim and fire with another, while firing without holding down the aim button allows you to shank enemies with what I can only assume is a void in time and space shaped like a knife. I'm not kidding when I say that this backup knife you're given could only be deadlier if it was tied to an aircraft carrier. Most small groups can be circle strafed with this thing if you have patience and timing to whittle them into piles of goop within a few seconds. I suspect this was given to balance out the unrelenting lack of ammo you have early on in the game which is only mildly mitigated by the game's item crafting and upgrading feature.
Teleglitch is very much in the vein of survival horror games instead of shooters when it comes to ammunition capacity and the power each bullet possesses. The starting pistol you get in the default version of the game for example takes two shots to down basic enemies and while fairly accurate can easily get you overwhelmed if you rely on it too much, meanwhile one of it's first upgrades is a machine pistol version that can hose down small groups but turns accuracy into a concept you'd have only heard about from your Storm Trooper friend while he mocks your aim. Meanwhile you also get a small truckload of random junk here and there that you can, eventually, craft into something useful or make into an upgrade but the game is a bit needlessly reserved on giving you hints about what you can make and it's basic functions, as well as it's drawbacks compared to the normal version. For example you get a grenade launcher early on that is a very handy backup weapon against smaller groups of weaker enemies when you want to conserve, say, shotgun ammo. It's only upgrades give it more barrels to fire out of and while this sounds natural, it's spread is highly minimal leaving you often smacking one enemy with two grenades, keeping in mind you should typically be using it to pelt enemies who will die to a single shot with it anyway. It does give you hints once you've crafted the weapon, perhaps for future playthroughs but it doesn't help when you realize the upgrade you just made does not use the same ammo or serve the same function as it previously did and it is now like whipping the curtain off your doomsday device as you confront Batman only to discover you accidentally replaced it with toothpicks and chewing gum.
Speaking of the enemies the game is fairly varied and challenging with it's enemy types. Mildly fast mutants that run at you like you're dangling cheeseburgers off your face, zombies who stutter-stop a bit but utilize more tactical approaches emphasizing flanking you and spreading out, larger zombies who mix in higher speed and basic projectiles, etc. These are all well and good, however, but the game has a fairly show stopping road spike wherein you often encounter enemies with guns after a certain point and this is where the game became highly frustrating for a while. Without wishing to come off as ill tempered or offend anyone with harsh language, whomever decided that giving basic enemies automatic weapons on the third level was balanced can kindly drink a septic tank. While in your hands the weapons are modestly powerful and sufficient, in the hands of even the most basic enemy a pistol carves off your health like a hot knife through an overused metaphor and if you happen to encounter an enemy with a shotgun while dealing with a horde already chasing you then I hope you like seeing the start of the game again because you'll be best friends with it soon enough.
I suspect and perhaps vehemently insist that the game is called roguelike not to draw attention to it's survival horror-esque inventory management system or it's combat style, or even it's procedural generation system which to me honestly felt no different than plopping the intro room of a level on a different part of the map and just trekking through it like normal, but to justify it's absolutely crap balancing after a certain point. I understand it's meant to be hard and that angrily restarting and getting shit done properly is what's expected, but for the first three days of playing I repeatedly got stuck on level five, not to the pair of incredibly dickish random bosses they barely warn you about, but because I would often walk into a room and be sprayed down with machinegun fire from a basic enemies that shredded me from full health to a pile of gibberish spewing frustration in the doorway. This is not a difficulty curve so much as a cliff edge made of broken glass and spite.
Speaking of Teleglitch's roguelike title, I'd like to clarify why I said in my opening statement that Teleglitch is not a roguelike. See, in my mind a roguelike at it's core has two features; First each time you die you restart the game as if starting a new one with no advantages besides knowledge and experience guiding your path, second that you actually care about it. Teleglitch does not do either of these things particularly well. To start off the list of reasons why and end it on the same point, I'm just going to flat out say it's checkpoint system and leave it at that. Once you reach certain levels you essentially unlock the ability to start from a previous level with a suitable amount of weapons, ammo, health items and upgrade junk to continue on. In my mind Teleglitch is essentially just an action shooter game ala Doom but using the roguelike label to justify it's petty obsession with cheaply brutalizing players for every single mistake.
As an aside that I feel the need to add, buying the Guns and Tunes DLC for this game was a mistake I'd advise against making if you're interested in something to spice up gameplay and only worth it if you want to support the developers. You're essentially buying a few music loops that you have to manually play over the game itself and randomized starting gear that at best is slightly worse than starting with the default pistol and at worst actually cripples you to the point of being actively worse off and leaving you with only a knife and a prayer to survive on.
Now that I've finished sounding incredibly petty, I am going to sit down right now and tell you that dollar for dollar Teleglitch has been one of the most worthwhile purchases I've made in the past few months and that's because while it fails as a roguelike game, it is an absolutely splendid survival horror game. You are utterly isolated and alone in an environment that is hostile to the point of near sentience in it's hatred of you and the tone of the game nicely juxtaposes the careful exploration of the levels with the fast paced and frantic combat against the hordes of creatures you'll encounter. There is no music and the only glimpses of the life your character has now left behind is found in computer logs that detail the facility and it's workings, sometimes coughing up hints or reminders. I have never been as immersed in a game as I have Teleglitch and in rather worrying ways, to the point that I found myself viewing any closed door with caution and upon hearing grunts or wooshing sounds I'd instantly enter a state of panic wherein I tried to figure out if it was safe to backpedal out of the room at full tilt.
The enemies, given their backstory, are uniquely programmed in their odd little way to both resemble monstrous figures and at times glimpses of their former selves and a nice example of this is how sometimes monsters will circle around you in this robotically broken way when they have clear room to attack you but won't initiate it, as if waiting for you to end their miserable lives or for their overseer to flip the murder button. A thing I really like is the infobook you acquire from each thing you make, kill or find that gives you a nice background on things or informs you of their habits and weaknesses, though often these are a bit arbitrary. The robot boss isn't invulnerable to heavy ordnance? Thanks game, I wondered what this anti-tank rifle you gave me was for.
Finally, while I may underscore it a bit, I do really like Teleglitch's framework plot and story a lot more than I should given that essentially what you're playing is a Doom clone with a nailgun. While the force feeding through the screens between menus and the computer prompts is a bit immersion breaking and at times a little silly, it does paint an interesting picture of a future where society has become so corpulent that they've reanimated the dead to work for them and created machines/mutant armies to fight wars for them. It has the makings of an interesting universe if someone decided to adapt it to a more story-focused game, but then it might lose a bit of the charm when they have to explain how hooking up your dead grandmother to a machine that makes her a perfect factory line worker doesn't make you a monster.
Teleglitch is definitely worth the money if you can stand a game that doesn't even try to excuse it's difficulty curve that winds back onto itself until it compresses into a black hole, or if you enjoy games that have emphasis on survival and careful management of your equipment even in the heat of combat. I definitely do not recommend it to hardcore roguelike fans because while the elements are there the shallowness of it's mechanics in that aspect really do not make it worth the title. Teleglitch is definitely frustrating at times and if you're anything like me you'll certainly wish the developers bodily harm after a few surprise machine gun firing squads to the entire body, but it never frustrated me to the point I stopped having fun so much as it frustrated me to the point of forgetting the entire English language and speaking only in broken declarations of rage.