TEN THOUSANNNNNNDDDDD B.C. review
To start with, let me say that I did not expect this movie to end up like it did - from what I?d gathered, it was a picturesque romp through our species? cavemen days as we followed a bunch of Neanderthals as they hunted mammoths or something. I did not expect an action/adventure movie seemingly designed for a mainstream audience - I was quite looking forward to a more niche-ey film.
I also nearly walked out after about 10 minutes because of the ass poor dialogue, acting and story. Don?t be fooled however, as I really ended up enjoying it a lot, a lot more than I?d initially thought.
So the movie is set about 12 000 years ago in a small tribal village thing in a really cold, snowy place. A patchwork story about great hunts, seeing the future and a boy with a ?coward? father is introduced, and then, ALL OF A SUDDEN, we?re about 30 years into the future with no prior warning. The start of this film really annoyed me. An example: a young girl is brought to the village whose tribe has been annihilated by ?four legged demons?. She meets the son of the coward I mentioned, and seriously, his first words to her are something along the lines of ?I love you and I will always love you, see that star up there that doesn?t move, you?re like that star in my heart blah blah freaking blah?. What the shit. They?re about 12 years old and just met. Also, this so called ?tribe? has representatives from all racial backgrounds, even though they?re pretty much isolated from everything else. There are some Asian-y guys there, some African types, Middle Eastern types, whiteys, and a bunch of others. The boy also seems to change race in the giant time jump from a kind of Asian looking appearance (I?m not quite sure what it is) to basically a white guy. That was when I knew that this was more of an adventure movie designed for those people who didn?t watch Apocalypto because it wasn?t in English.
Oh yes, they talk English, and very, very well. Doesn?t matter though, because being the movie that it is, the cast actually talking in English makes it a whole lot more watch-able. So after the fairly craptastic introduction, the complication is introduced as these ?four legged demons? come along and enslave most of the village in order to take them back to wherever they came from for some unknown fun. Luckily, the 3 best warriors of the tribe are not enslaved and so pursue the baddies and their tribesmen in order to rescue them. The journey is picturesque; anyone who has seen the sweeping aerial shots of the mountain scenes in LOTR knows what to expect. Another strange thing about the movie is how often the scenery changes. The tribe is in the middle of this snowy valley type place, so naturally our heroes traverse a giant mountain range in pursuit of the enemies. After that, they enter this really thick, dense jungle, and after that they come across a stark desert setting where the eventually end up at the pyramids of Egypt.
Um, what? Sure, this WAS ten thousand years ago when the earth?s continents were probably all joined at the hip, but seriously, come on. Also, the baddies for some reason think it?s appropriate to take a nap in the middle of the jungle IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. Come on people, give us a little more credit than that.
The final big battle at the pyramids is awesome though, as our heroes confront the ultimate evil in order to save themselves and their people, and the people of this African tribe they met and ALSO the people enslaved in building the pyramids. That?s a damn lot of responsibility right there, yes indeedy. The story is fine for an action film and it ends fine - it?s all pretty generic really. The acting is average at best and the cast seem pretty well unknown to me (except the guy from Sunshine - god that movie kicked ass).
Overall, 10 000 BC is a plain old action film - watching it, it felt like a porno or a kung fu movie: the action scenes are great, but the bits in between really don?t do anything at all. I did enjoy it, contrary to my ramblings, because it?s an easy movie to watch - you don?t have to think too hard, there are some great battle scenes and it?s all very picturesque. Like I said, it wasn?t the movie I was expecting but check it out if you?re an action fan, or you love historical inaccuracies.
To start with, let me say that I did not expect this movie to end up like it did - from what I?d gathered, it was a picturesque romp through our species? cavemen days as we followed a bunch of Neanderthals as they hunted mammoths or something. I did not expect an action/adventure movie seemingly designed for a mainstream audience - I was quite looking forward to a more niche-ey film.
I also nearly walked out after about 10 minutes because of the ass poor dialogue, acting and story. Don?t be fooled however, as I really ended up enjoying it a lot, a lot more than I?d initially thought.
So the movie is set about 12 000 years ago in a small tribal village thing in a really cold, snowy place. A patchwork story about great hunts, seeing the future and a boy with a ?coward? father is introduced, and then, ALL OF A SUDDEN, we?re about 30 years into the future with no prior warning. The start of this film really annoyed me. An example: a young girl is brought to the village whose tribe has been annihilated by ?four legged demons?. She meets the son of the coward I mentioned, and seriously, his first words to her are something along the lines of ?I love you and I will always love you, see that star up there that doesn?t move, you?re like that star in my heart blah blah freaking blah?. What the shit. They?re about 12 years old and just met. Also, this so called ?tribe? has representatives from all racial backgrounds, even though they?re pretty much isolated from everything else. There are some Asian-y guys there, some African types, Middle Eastern types, whiteys, and a bunch of others. The boy also seems to change race in the giant time jump from a kind of Asian looking appearance (I?m not quite sure what it is) to basically a white guy. That was when I knew that this was more of an adventure movie designed for those people who didn?t watch Apocalypto because it wasn?t in English.
Oh yes, they talk English, and very, very well. Doesn?t matter though, because being the movie that it is, the cast actually talking in English makes it a whole lot more watch-able. So after the fairly craptastic introduction, the complication is introduced as these ?four legged demons? come along and enslave most of the village in order to take them back to wherever they came from for some unknown fun. Luckily, the 3 best warriors of the tribe are not enslaved and so pursue the baddies and their tribesmen in order to rescue them. The journey is picturesque; anyone who has seen the sweeping aerial shots of the mountain scenes in LOTR knows what to expect. Another strange thing about the movie is how often the scenery changes. The tribe is in the middle of this snowy valley type place, so naturally our heroes traverse a giant mountain range in pursuit of the enemies. After that, they enter this really thick, dense jungle, and after that they come across a stark desert setting where the eventually end up at the pyramids of Egypt.
Um, what? Sure, this WAS ten thousand years ago when the earth?s continents were probably all joined at the hip, but seriously, come on. Also, the baddies for some reason think it?s appropriate to take a nap in the middle of the jungle IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. Come on people, give us a little more credit than that.
The final big battle at the pyramids is awesome though, as our heroes confront the ultimate evil in order to save themselves and their people, and the people of this African tribe they met and ALSO the people enslaved in building the pyramids. That?s a damn lot of responsibility right there, yes indeedy. The story is fine for an action film and it ends fine - it?s all pretty generic really. The acting is average at best and the cast seem pretty well unknown to me (except the guy from Sunshine - god that movie kicked ass).
Overall, 10 000 BC is a plain old action film - watching it, it felt like a porno or a kung fu movie: the action scenes are great, but the bits in between really don?t do anything at all. I did enjoy it, contrary to my ramblings, because it?s an easy movie to watch - you don?t have to think too hard, there are some great battle scenes and it?s all very picturesque. Like I said, it wasn?t the movie I was expecting but check it out if you?re an action fan, or you love historical inaccuracies.
