Thanatophobia (heavy stuff inside, ye be warned)

[Kolby Jack]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thanatophobia

We're all, I assume, adults here. Ever since I was 14, I've had bouts of this. It's nothing unusual and nothing debilitating. It just hits me from time to time and keeps me awake for a little while at night. I recently went through a bit of it, though now I'm more or less over it again but am curious about it psychologically. Now, according to wikipedia, it hits almost everyone periodically until oh, age 65 or so (weeeee). So I'm wondering, do you guys go through this? What's it like for you? How do you deal with it if you do at all?

(I realize I'm referring to it as... well, "it" a lot. I guess even talking about contemplating death is too uncomfortable to even refer to much.)

For me, it tends to hit me during periods of calm when I don't have much else to think about (like when I'm lying in bed). Eventually my mind moves into trying to comprehend just the idea of nonexistence, which is impossible, but I get really freaked out for a split second and then I usually turn on the TV or something to distract me until I fall asleep. The first time this happened ten years ago, I was reduced to sobbing and tears. Now it's just unpleasant. Thankfully it only tends to crop up every few years or so, although I;m not looking forward to when wikipedia says it'll really hit me hard in my 40's.

 

[JoJo]

We're all, I assume, adults here.

I wouldn't assume that, per the rules of the site Escapists can be as young as 13.

As for the topic on hand, I'm not sure whether I've experienced it or not. The thought of death and my following non-existence makes me feel mildly uncomfortable but not that strongly, I mean it's such a long way off (I hope and I have a lot of things to do before I reach there. I'm more concerned about achieving all of my goals before I die than the actual death itself I guess.

 

[FalloutJack]

Deathophobia

Hello, fellow Jack.

It's not MY death that I contemplate sometimes, but the death of my peers using my hideously vivid imagination. I've often had a morbid and macabre imagination, so it makes this very easy to step into. But then, because of it, I also fall right back out again. Truth is, any thoughts concerning my death have taken a philosophical edge. Existentialism, Rationalism, and Metaphysics in college will do that to you. My perception on the matter is that the universe will be over if I die, because it will be over for ME. It will cease to have any relevance to me, ergo it has ceased FOR me, if you follow.

 

[Reiper]

Although it can be hard, I find it better to simply not think about it, live in the moment and enjoy life. I sometimes think about it, and it leaves me with a curious feeling if I think about it too much. The idea of not non-existence is pretty incomprehensible. For me though what is scary is how death potentially rips apart all of our worldly loves and connections / relationships. It is the epitome of isolation since no one can follow you into the void (at least I don't think so)

I guess its nothing to be sad about though, we already won the big lottery by being given a chance to live. Ultimately everything that has a beginning has an end, and we humans are no different.

If it really bothers you, maybe then do some research on religions. In regards to death, they may be able to give you some of the answers, or at least, some of the solace you seek.

 

[sanquin]

Whenever I start thinking about death, and how my eventual own death will be I just think 'Eh, when that time comes it comes. All I can do is hope it's not painful'. I used to get more anxious when I thought about it, but forced myself to not let something that's inevitable affect my daily life. Or rather, I use it as a drive to do the things I want to do before my time comes.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Uhh, difficult to respond to.

Sometimes I think me being dead will make everyone else happy and I won't have to deal with the shit I put up with any more.
So sometimes I just... daydream(?) about wanting to be dead and getting away from everything.

But then sometimes walking through my town at night, I'm petrified of being grabbed, stabbed or raped because I live in a rough city. I won't go anywhere out of sight, won't go down alleyways or under bridges or anywhere someone can just grab me and no one can hear me scream.

I have enough common sense to not run out in traffic or drink bleach but generally speaking, I don't fear death. It's going to happen to me eventually so I don't see the point in getting worked up about it.

 

[Angelblaze]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thanatophobia

We're all, I assume, adults here. Ever since I was 14, I've had bouts of this. It's nothing unusual and nothing debilitating. It just hits me from time to time and keeps me awake for a little while at night. I recently went through a bit of it, though now I'm more or less over it again but am curious about it psychologically. Now, according to wikipedia, it hits almost everyone periodically until oh, age 65 or so (weeeee). So I'm wondering, do you guys go through this? What's it like for you? How do you deal with it if you do at all?

(I realize I'm referring to it as... well, "it" a lot. I guess even talking about contemplating death is too uncomfortable to even refer to much.)

For me, it tends to hit me during periods of calm when I don't have much else to think about (like when I'm lying in bed). Eventually my mind moves into trying to comprehend just the idea of nonexistence, which is impossible, but I get really freaked out for a split second and then I usually turn on the TV or something to distract me until I fall asleep. The first time this happened ten years ago, I was reduced to sobbing and tears. Now it's just unpleasant. Thankfully it only tends to crop up every few years or so, although I;m not looking forward to when wikipedia says it'll really hit me hard in my 40's.

I'm 16 and....
Well, as strange as it may sound I have to thank you because this was happening to me last night. My eyes still hurt from crying to the point it aches me to blink actually. It's a weird feeling trying to deal with it now - for me its like its so much more powerful when you're alone, in the dark and trying to get to sleep. I also have bouts of it but they're usually multiple nights - IE: I cry for two nights in a row, in the mornings afterward I'm completely fine to the point where it actually scares me.

I've had it since around 8 I believe - one of my oldest memories is my mom coming to me while I was crying and me asking her why people had to die.

 

[AWAR]

This might be a bout of anxiety disorder so you should check it out if it's happening a lot.
About the death thing, I ponder about it from time to time but in essence it's something we cannot control therefore it's a bit useless to worry about

 

[lacktheknack]

I don't suffer that at all.

Say what you want about religion, but being a diehard religious fanatic has its benefits, such as preclusion of Thanatophobia.

And even if I wasn't... if there's nothing beyond the threshold of death, then you won't have to worry about it. It's not like you'll be trapped in a black box forever, it's more like being asleep. You don't remember being asleep (dreams aside) and you don't have any opinions or thoughts while asleep. You just exist. Or, in the case of final death, you don't.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Ohhhhhh jolly good times... I was 8 I think when I realized my own mortality. Frightening experience that is. Actually it really fucked me up as a kid, and into my teen years I had sort of a midlife crisis then. ha.

The thing is, I've been afraid of it for so long. Experiencing that horrible realization of the nothingness... I'm almost not afraid of it anymore. I mean occasionally now it still hits me for a few minutes, late at night.

but I have two little phrases I tell myself: "everything has a beginning and an end." and "Death Is Equal."

It doesn't make it okay, but it's smallest amount of comfort to know I won't be the only one ever to face this. Everyone is. And if you think about it in a context of a story, a story has to end. Nothing is infinite, not even the universe.

 

[Shymer]

I have suffered from existential depression since I was 15. I am now 41. This has meant that, most days, I am preoccupied with issues of my own mortality and failing to find meaning. Anti-depressants and counselling has not really helped the symptoms of depression, which have been difficult to manage. Only recently has therapy offered any relief and additional tools to help.

If these thoughts and feelings came to me every few years - that would be a blessing.

As it is I have long periods of intense anxiety, withdrawal and repressed anger. I suspect everyone thinks about death from time to time - but for me it's a daily challenge. My experience is unusual (compared to the people I've spoken to) and debilitating (I have lost jobs, broken relationships and the like to show for it). However, I have managed a successful career, a marriage and family and I continue to get by - albeit, perhaps less gracefully than some others.

I can't say that it's got worse in my forties. Actually my greater experience and self-awareness has helped me deal with it whereas when I was younger it gave me more trouble.

Three things have really helped. Talking about it to others and really listening to people. Doing and saying things that support, rather than undermine my self-esteem. Helping other people. These are the only things that have made me feel any sense of relief.

What you have described sounds reasonable and healthy. I would be amazed if anyone went through life without thinking about their own death. However if it starts to change your mood and behaviour much more frequently and/or with more intensity, then I would talk to someone about it.

 

[Barbas]

Yep, I think about it when my mind wanders for extended periods of time. I wonder what the point of it all is. It's just a load of bollocks, really. This feeling is exacerbated when I see some violent and pointless conflict kicking off on the news. Why do people still behave like savage tribesmen?

I wish they'd make it easier for people in the UK to end their lives with pills if they wanted to. Failing to plan is planning to fail, and I keep hearing about people getting into a sudden funk, doing a slap-dash job of it and ending up in agony in hospital, having just made a horrifying mess for their relatives to discover.

 

[Quiet Stranger]

I think Death is stupid, you're alive for however many years and then you die and nothing you do in that time you were alive matters at all and in about one hundred years no one will remember you. Well I say FUCK THAT! I'm never going to die.

 

[RJ 17]

We're all, I assume, adults here.

I wouldn't assume that, per the rules of the site Escapists can be as young as 13.

And judging by the behavior and comments in some threads, I'd say we're all (myself included at times) a bunch of 13 year olds from time to time.

OT: Strictly speaking: I've never had this "phobia" since I've never really flipped out about it or have been terrified about it. Though I have, from time to time, found my mind wandering onto the topics of non-existence and such. What lies beyond death, are the religions correct or are the atheists correct? Some people believe in a sort of mixing of the two in that places like heaven and hell are not spiritual destinations that your soul goes to once your body passes away, but rather the state of mind that your psyche ends on at your death. That would seem to imply that our psyche exists on some different level than our physical bodies and persists on even after our death which I'd imagine most people would simply equate that to meaning "psyche" in this sense = "soul", but it's just something I've heard before.

But yeah, my mental wanderings on the subject really don't go much farther than the impossible task of pondering "What would it be like?" The brick wall you hit is that, obviously, your conscious mind won't be around to perceive what nothingness and non-existence is so you can't even attempt to imagine what it would be like. What's REALLY fun is when you think about the fact that it's something that we've all experienced before already during the countless years prior to our birth.

And from there my mind tends to just wander off onto subjects such as fate and a grander scale of time and questions like "Why was I born...why did I come into being during /this/ time and not, say, back in the middle ages? Or back in the time of the Roman Empire? Or back in the time of Cavemen?" Which sometimes leads onto wondering if things like past lives and reincarnation actually exist which brings us right back to the concept of a persistent soul just being recycled throughout the endless cycle of time over and over again.

In the end it never really gets anywhere, no conclusions are reached, and my mind discards such thoughts as useless because Death is The Great Unknown for a damn good reason: it's impossible to know what lies beyond that threshold.

 

[Eggsnham]

-Snip-

We've all, I assume, experienced this to some degree before.

I used to be a bit of a hypochondriac when I was younger, that coupled with my anxiety issues means that I often thought I was literally dying of some obscure or unlikely disease. So there were a bunch of times where I would descend into a panicked state out of nowhere, convinced I was dying of, say, brain cancer because of something like a migraine. When that happened, I would often contemplate death and the implications of dying which, of course, only exacerbated the situation.

It got to a point where my parents took me to a psychiatrist who prescribed me Zoloft for about a year to "kickstart" production of a specific neurotransmitter that I was apparently deficient in. Since then my anxiety has been manageable and I don't dwell too often on death. It's still a scary thought; the worst part, arguably, being that we don't know what death really means other than how we observe it physically.

My advice: Talk to somebody about it. They don't have to a professional mental health expert (though you might get more out of it if you do talk to a professional), just make sure they're open-minded and willing to just talk about that sort of thing.

 

[UniversalRonin]

Having been on the wrong end of a sleeping driver of a Semi Truck, I can honestly say at that moment I was a little concerned (my car got spun across the M1 and landed in the fast lane- nobody else hit us). But honestly, it's not something that normally bothers me. I'll go when I go, and just like the majority of us, I will have had some impact on a few people, and the world will never really remember it.

We're all going to die, (unless singularity happens soonish, and we all get integrated into a matrix style thingy.) I can't give you any good advice for the fear of death, but, do risky stuff, take up climbing, or bungee jumping or something. And when you feel the thrill of 'Oh bugger, I'm screwed' hopefully it will help you to not worry about it. (might be bad advice...)

 

[arsenalabu]

Nope, I go through the opposite.

I guess I've always looked at death differently to other people.
It's the big red button with "Do Not Press" written on it.
And I'm too proud to like the idea of someone else pressing it for me.