The best crap I ever did is a cherished memory.
I was a student teacher at the time in the UK. I was staying at my parents' house with my wife to save costs. It was near the end of the academic term (work was finished) and I had been drinking that weekend two days straight with fellow student teachers and on the way home I had eaten a spicy haggis supper (i.e. haggis with chips/potato fries).
Woke up next day and took a shit. It was an unhealthy, skanky, belligerent thing. It looked like a large, shiny black-green slug and it held fast to the curve of the bowl.
I flushed. I flushed again. A few more times and yet the thing wouldn't budge. I had a morning tutorial and some university stuff to wrap up, and so I left it there.
Fast forward 8 hours later.
I get home and my mother (Scottish) is waiting for me and my wife (Japanese) is close behind looking revolted with me.
"Yah dirty wee get, ye left yer shite in thi toilet. I poured bleach oan it an ivirythin' an it still widnae budge. Yer faither hud ti attack it wi a stick fi the back-gairden ti git it ti shift. Nixt time, clean yer ain mess yah wee bissum."
Translated:
"You little rapscallion. You left a stool in the toilet. I applied bleach to shift it, but 'twas in vain. Your poor father had to fetch a stick from the backgarden and do battle with it until it relented. In future, clean the toilet yourself you scoundrel."
My proudest moment. My father like Captain Ahab doing battle with my creation; I still chuckle at the memory.
What is your best crap?
Regards
Nightspore
p.s. I tried to replicate that crap but never succeeded.
I was a student teacher at the time in the UK. I was staying at my parents' house with my wife to save costs. It was near the end of the academic term (work was finished) and I had been drinking that weekend two days straight with fellow student teachers and on the way home I had eaten a spicy haggis supper (i.e. haggis with chips/potato fries).
Woke up next day and took a shit. It was an unhealthy, skanky, belligerent thing. It looked like a large, shiny black-green slug and it held fast to the curve of the bowl.
I flushed. I flushed again. A few more times and yet the thing wouldn't budge. I had a morning tutorial and some university stuff to wrap up, and so I left it there.
Fast forward 8 hours later.
I get home and my mother (Scottish) is waiting for me and my wife (Japanese) is close behind looking revolted with me.
"Yah dirty wee get, ye left yer shite in thi toilet. I poured bleach oan it an ivirythin' an it still widnae budge. Yer faither hud ti attack it wi a stick fi the back-gairden ti git it ti shift. Nixt time, clean yer ain mess yah wee bissum."
Translated:
"You little rapscallion. You left a stool in the toilet. I applied bleach to shift it, but 'twas in vain. Your poor father had to fetch a stick from the backgarden and do battle with it until it relented. In future, clean the toilet yourself you scoundrel."
My proudest moment. My father like Captain Ahab doing battle with my creation; I still chuckle at the memory.
What is your best crap?
Regards
Nightspore
p.s. I tried to replicate that crap but never succeeded.
