The burger, the greatness thereof, and how to perfect them.

[dreng3]

So yeah, burgers are pretty rad, thousands of combinations and variations make for exciting new opportunities each time you grab one, but what is in the perfect Escapist Burger?
I've taken to these forums to ask how you prefer yours, what was the best burger you ever had, and why is the burger so friggin amazing?

As the good poster I'll start the show. I prefer my burgers as a mix between beef and pork, about 50/50, served with emmentaler, hot mustard, red onions, and a simple bun.

 

[Zykon TheLich_v1legacy]

I used to make my own. 500-750g of beef mince, 3 eggs and a bunch of black pepper, a dash of mixed herbs and then a chopped onion. Stick in frying pan in one giant lump. Cook. Divide into 4 then stick each bit into a bun/bread/whatever with bell peppers, spring onion, lettuce, tomatoes, mayo and Jerk BBQ sauce. Eat all 4 in one sitting.

 

[dreng3]

I used to make my own. 500-750g of beef mince, 3 eggs and a bunch of black pepper, a dash of mixed herbs and then a chopped onion. Stick in frying pan in one giant lump. Cook. Divide into 4 then stick each bit into a bun/bread/whatever with bell peppers, spring onion, lettuce, tomatoes, mayo and Jerk BBQ sauce. Eat all 4 in one sitting.

Sweet mercy, I figured my 300g patty burger was massive, but it seems I've been outdone.

 

[Dirty Hipsters]

The best burger is one that is served between 2 grilled cheese sandwiches.

Delicious.

 

[Barbas]

Well, first you gotta get the ingredients between the two buns. That part's vital. Once you've done that, you're pretty much laughing apart from the minor risk of food poisoning. I like my burgers to have a small enough meat patty that it doesn't cause the thing to burst and fall apart in your hands. Other than that, a bit of crispy lettuce and tomato is welcome, as well as some mushrooms, black pepper sauce and a thin slice of some good-quality cheese. Oh, and fried onions. The bread has to be of good quality, too; I can't stand a burger that falls apart like soggy cardboard. The burger itself should not leave you stuffed; it should be the centrepiece, but a small portion of well-toasted and curled fries and dip on the side really completes the whole scene. And maybe a big slice of pickle.

There used to be a White Spot burger joint in Hong Kong that did fantastic mushroom burgers. Really good start to the day.

 

[Blood Brain Barrier]

The best burger is one that is served between 2 grilled cheese sandwiches.

Delicious.

Ehh... that looks like too much bread. And where's the green stuff? Lettuce, tomatoes, etc. Those are pretty much essential.

 

[Kyrian007]

There's a decades old local place in my hometown that makes a burger topped with chorizo and avocado. That was a favorite of mine. Then I tried another place a buddy said was "the best in town." I had a burger of theirs that was topped with a split bbq hot link, bacon, and avocado. I'm not sure anymore which I like better.

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

I like mine onion-y.
I cook 'em up in a pan with onion and butter until it's about medium-rare with a good crust on the outside.
I slap on some cheese (American cheese is a classic that I love but I usually choose Provolone or smoked Gouda, sometimes muenster), raw onion slices, pickles, and a little bit of mustard, mayo, and ketchup.
All depends on which cheese I pick, of course.
Provolone is pretty neutral and can go with any condiment, the smoked gouda goes best with mustard imo.

Simple, won't win any awards, but I love it.

I love lettuce on my burgers but it wilts and gets nasty so fast that I don't bother with it when I'm at home.

 

[jademunky]

I used to make my own. 500-750g of beef mince, 3 eggs and a bunch of black pepper, a dash of mixed herbs and then a chopped onion. Stick in frying pan in one giant lump. Cook. Divide into 4 then stick each bit into a bun/bread/whatever with bell peppers, spring onion, lettuce, tomatoes, mayo and Jerk BBQ sauce. Eat all 4 in one sitting.

I would second that but also add some seasoned bread crumbs to the patty and maybe swap out the chopped onion for green onions. Then I would add some bacon and crumbled blue cheese.

 

[jademunky]

The best burger is one that is served between 2 grilled cheese sandwiches.

Sir, I think you mistake quantity for quality. Seriously, I can make you burgers that taste waaaay better than that monstrosity!

 

[Metalix Knightmare]

There can only be one answer. The burger that can raise your cholesterol level just by seeing it.

Ladies, Gentlemen, may I introduce...The Gigantor.

 

[Asita]

Toss one package of ground beef and one package of ground turkey in a bowl and apply seasoning. I err strongly towards salt, black pepper and garlic, and maybe some grill seasoning (which often contains more of those) on top of that. Throw in a few teaspoons worth of Worcestershire Sauce. Mix by hand and shape the results into patties. Toss them on the grill, flip as needed. Once both sides are cooked, make a small incision and apply pressure. If the juice is red, they need more time. If clear or very light brown, they're done. Add toppings to personal taste.

...Great, now I'm getting hungry again >_<

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Ladies, Gentlemen, may I introduce...The Gigantor.

Bless your heart for posting this. It has been so long.

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

I like meat on my meat. A burger can always be improved by adding bacon or pulled pork on top of it. Fact.

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

You poor souls. You shouldn't eat red meat. Especially not fuckin' minced meat. I doubt that I can convince you not to, so I'll just hope that none of you get bowel cancer in the future. Unless we discover a cheap cure.

 

[dreng3]

I like meat on my meat. A burger can always be improved by adding bacon or pulled pork on top of it. Fact.

I recently had the chance to try a burger topped with deboned ribs that had marinated in beer and barbecue, and I second your opinion.

You poor souls. You shouldn't eat red meat. Especially not fuckin' minced meat. I doubt that I can convince you not to, so I'll just hope that none of you get bowel cancer in the future. Unless we discover a cheap cure.

Well, we could all live as ascetics and never really enjoy ourselves, but then what is the point of life? Occasionally eating a burger probably won't do too much harm.

 

[Vendor-Lazarus]

The bun is not that important, as long as it holds together.
I don't find the meat all that either. I could go either beef, pork, chicken or fish, it better not be raw or uncooked though.
I always order/do mine without all that needless and unnecessary green stuff. and red and...no rabbit food period.

Essentials are a good mustard and several different kinds of cheese.
A nice sauce wouldn't go amiss, just don't drown the burger in it.

I would be fine with a basic white bread, meat, cheese, mustard and sauce.
Call me "the gourmet".

 

[dreng3]

The bun is not that important, as long as it holds together.
I don't find the meat all that either. I could go either beef, pork, chicken or fish, it better not be raw or uncooked though.
I always order/do mine without all that needless and unnecessary green stuff. and red and...no rabbit food period.

Essentials are a good mustard and several different kinds of cheese.
A nice sauce wouldn't go amiss, just don't drown the burger in it.

I would be fine with a basic white bread, meat, cheese, mustard and sauce.
Call me "the gourmet".

Which mustard is the best kind then? Personally I prefer a really spicy mustard that leaves your eyes damp and your forehead sweaty, but I'm always willing to try something new.

 

[Vendor-Lazarus]

The bun is not that important, as long as it holds together.
I don't find the meat all that either. I could go either beef, pork, chicken or fish, it better not be raw or uncooked though.
I always order/do mine without all that needless and unnecessary green stuff. and red and...no rabbit food period.

Essentials are a good mustard and several different kinds of cheese.
A nice sauce wouldn't go amiss, just don't drown the burger in it.

I would be fine with a basic white bread, meat, cheese, mustard and sauce.
Call me "the gourmet".

Which mustard is the best kind then? Personally I prefer a really spicy mustard that leaves your eyes damp and your forehead sweaty, but I'm always willing to try something new.

Anything but Dijon mustard really. I prefer Johhny's sweet & strong or Slotts strong mustard though.

 

[Phoenixmgs_v1legacy]

I guess my favorite burger with be with cheese (probably swiss or cheddar), bacon, mushrooms, and a perfectly cooked over medium egg to top it off.

I like meat on my meat. A burger can always be improved by adding bacon or pulled pork on top of it. Fact.

I can't believe you forgot gyro meat. The gyro-cheeseburger is just amazing.