The Deal With Yahtzee Croshaw (And all critics for that matter)

[IPunchWithMyFists]

God. Why am I writing this? This is an absolutely terrible idea. This has been explained a jillion times and The Escapist is supposed to be a pretty intellectual site. Elitism optional.

But there's nothing I hate more, to embrace a livelier form of hyperbole, than people who start wars with Yahtzee, or for that matter, critics.

I'll say this, I love Yahtzee, consider me a fanboy if you must, he's one of the few game critics I know of who knows what it fucking means to be a critic. Sure, he's cynical, but who wants an optimistic critic? I'd run out of money if I bought every game THAT guy wanted me to buy. He manages to escape the hype of every game coming out successfully. No matter how excited we are to hear about how much he loved Borderlands or let's not forget Goddamn Brawl, they're all just transient discussion points which will one day seep off the front page and just be a part of his archive.

Yahtzee is not your goddamn enemy, he's a critic with opinions. And yet fanboys just have to find a way to fight him! I want to say this to the world, I want to say it loud enough to penetrate the dark, dusty corners of every computer chair with too many cans around it.

You are not your game. If Yahtzee does not like Skyward Sword, that's not a jab at you. That's a jab at a video game that Yahtzee played. He is not insulting you. He may insult your favorite thing, but not you. Hell, he tore L.A. Noire a new one and I love that game. He hates a LOT of my favorite titles. If you are so attached to a piece of cultural media that any offense taken at it becomes personal then you should not be allowed near a computer.

And to believe that your favorite thing ever, that ANY thing ever would be so goddamn good that there's not a single detractor is absurd. Surely there is someone out there who does not like Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane! Maybe the greatest movie ever made! I know for a fact there is someone out there who does not like it and I will not be surprised or offended when I meet him/her.

And if there's one person out there who does not like Citizen Kane, there are a thousand who must not like Battlefield 3. An online multiplayer shooter. Not a grand observation on the subtle emptiness of life or a deeply personal trip through a person's artful if not disturbing insecurities, an online shooter.

Bastion is absolutely my favorite game of all time, it's a game I've played through multiple times, have immersed myself in as far down as I'll go and I love every second of that game, every single second. SOME DAY, maybe even today, I will meet someone who does not like it. They will either have extremely valid points or be a complete moron. But I will NOT be offended if they think it's the worst game ever. Because they are a person. With opinions.

Open up discussion if you like, that's what makes critics so interesting, their opinions are the floodgates to discussion and discussion is the floodgate to ideas and ideas are the floodgates to quality. But for GOD'S SAKE, stop trying to prove him WRONG about enjoying a game.

He thought it was terrible. Maybe a hundred people thought it was terrible. Maybe a million. But if you're offended, then the reason we hate you is not because of your choice in games. We hate you because you're an entitled, spiteful dork with too much time to be angry.

 

[him over there]

It all comes down to people being insecure about what they have, want and enjoy. People are super content with what they have until someone says it sucks. Suddenly they're worried that they aren't having fun and they might have picked the wrong game so they have to defend and justify why it is fun. Otherwise they are missing out. If a critic has extremely valid points they have to defend it otherwise they feel like they are being told their opinion is wrong.

 

[IPunchWithMyFists]

It all comes down to people being insecure about what they have, want and enjoy. People are super content with what they have until someone says it sucks. Suddenly they're worried that they aren't having fun and they might have picked the wrong game so they have to defend and justify why it is fun. Otherwise they are missing out. If a critic has extremely valid points they have to defend it otherwise they feel like they are being told their opinion is wrong.

That's actually an extremely interesting theory on the mind of these crazy crazy people. It's admittedly happened to me before. It took some convincing to finally get me to realize how bored I was with Super Mario Sunshine, but I wasn't offended.

So even with this small flaw that anyone can fall into (assuming I am a sort of proxy for the term 'anyone' but let's keep this simple) I still think it takes a special kind of childish, tantrum-y person to get legitimately upset about it.

 

[IPunchWithMyFists]

I do feel there is a right to take issue when the critic is just plain wrong like when IGN (I think?) said Metro 2033 had forced stealth sections which they hated and marked it down. This is wrong as you can shoot through any situation but the reviewer was too dumb to realise.

That is a case when it is ok to argue with them.

Or (adding a wrinkle here) when you're Gamespot and your reviews are actually just industry, advertiser bonuses.

I was plenty upset about that whole Kane & Lynch thing.

 

[him over there]

It all comes down to people being insecure about what they have, want and enjoy. People are super content with what they have until someone says it sucks. Suddenly they're worried that they aren't having fun and they might have picked the wrong game so they have to defend and justify why it is fun. Otherwise they are missing out. If a critic has extremely valid points they have to defend it otherwise they feel like they are being told their opinion is wrong.

That's actually an extremely interesting theory on the mind of these crazy crazy people. It's admittedly happened to me before. It took some convincing to finally get me to realize how bored I was with Super Mario Sunshine, but I wasn't offended.

So even with this small flaw that anyone can fall into (assuming I am a sort of proxy for the term 'anyone' but let's keep this simple) I still think it takes a special kind of childish, tantrum-y person to get legitimately upset about it.

I don't know, I suppose the more committed to something you are the more defensive you are that someone hates it. I mean if it was someone who was just like you you'd tell them off. I think it also has to do with a sort of inferiority complex, disvaluing your own opinion because "this guy gets paid to do this he knows better than me." Honestly if people just had more self esteem and confidence in their interests it would probably happen less. I don't know why it is so extreme though, probably something about the internet or whatever.

 

[Fat Hippo]

I agree with what you're saying, but it's an uphill battle, trying to stop people on the internet from overreacting. It's very easy to do, and sometimes you don't even notice it yourself. They may be typing "YOU DUMB FAG YAHTZEE!" when they're feeling only the mildest of emotions. They may not even care all that much, but the only way to make themselves heard, without the time and effort of a well-formulated argument, is to yell something insulting. It's very easy to feel ignored on large forums, and freaking out is an easy way to get attention.

That's my theory anyway. Maybe I'm totally wrong about this, and it's something entirely else that gets people to go nuts over things like Yahtzee not liking "their" game.

 

[ChildishLegacy]

A lot of people dislike critics for other reasons than them not sharing the same opinions though.

I don't really watch Zero Punctuation any more because it just seems to be made for the sake of making funny reviews rather than actually reviewing games, there's some of those videos where I've literally came out of them not knowing more about the game and whether I should buy it or not, but how you could take the piss out of a very small section of it.

 

[Suicidejim]

The job of a game reviewer is to analyze and criticize a game, generally so they can either recommend it to others or warn them away from it. If you have already bought said game and enjoy it, then the analysis of the reviewer is largely irrelevant, because you now already know whether or not you enjoy the game and whether it was a worthwhile purchase. Many people, however, treat the opinions of critics as validation or condemnation of the games they already own, which is entirely the wrong way to go about it. It is advice, not the immutable word of God.

Not to mention the fact that Yahtzee is more an entertainer than a reviewer. He has a persona to keep up, and has to keep firing off jokes at regular intervals, and it is generally a lot funnier when he's taking apart a game piece by piece and then spitting on it, rather than simply offering unbridled praise.

 

[Gamer_152]

Most of the time I just can't take an argument with Yahtzee as a serious idea. If people wanted to take exception with something he said in Extra Punctuation, fair enough, he's a more down-to-Earth and intellectual guy there, but most of the people who argue with Yahtzee argue over things he's said on Zero Punctuation. Essentially at that point you're arguing with a fictional character.

Yahtzee's level of hyperbole and deliberate hyper-cynicism in that show is through the roof, and Zero Punctuation is much more about entertainment than it is intellectual criticism. I don't know what people see to gain from arguing with Yahtzee over it. They're not going to change the guy's mind and they're debating against what was never meant to be taken seriously in the first place. I guess people will always want their opinions justified though, whatever form that may come in.

 

[GigaHz]

God. Why am I writing this? This is an absolutely terrible idea. This has been explained a jillion times and The Escapist is supposed to be a pretty intellectual site. Elitism optional.

I find it hard to believe that this site is considered to be an intellectual site if you need to resort to making threads outlining simple concepts like 'what a critic is supposed to be' and why criticism isn't a personal attack. Anyone with half a brain could come to that conclusion.

That's also why I enjoy watching people lash out at Yatzee or any other critic. I get pleasure witnessing people who aren't firmly grounded in reality argue passionately against a man who's entire reputation entails mercilessly ripping apart a video game. The kind of people who wouldn't get a point if it were bolded, underlined, in quotes, with arrows pointing to it, on a Neon sign.

Don't take away my fun, pretty please.

 

[GigaHz]

...

STOP LIKING WHAT I DONT LIKE

OH SO YOU DO

FUCK YOU

YOU SUCK

THIS GAME DESERVES A 10/10 AND IF YOU DONT THINK SO YOU SHOULD DIE

See, this guy gets the appeal.

Now imagine this for real, directed at Yatzee, with a mutli-page response about why every Zelda game is without flaw.

Doesn't that just warm your heart every time you see it? <3

 

[Hal10k]

...

STOP LIKING WHAT I DONT LIKE

OH SO YOU DO

FUCK YOU

YOU SUCK

THIS GAME DESERVES A 10/10 AND IF YOU DONT THINK SO YOU SHOULD DIE

I HAVE A TERMINAL MISUNDERSTANDING OF WHAT THE WORD "OBJECTIVE" MEANS, AND THIS REVIEW SUCKS BECAUSE IT ISN'T OBJECTIVE.

"OBJECTIVE" MEANS "IN ACCORDANCE WITH MY OPINION".

DICTIONARIES ARE WAY TOO HARD TO USE.

 

[IPunchWithMyFists]

God. Why am I writing this? This is an absolutely terrible idea. This has been explained a jillion times and The Escapist is supposed to be a pretty intellectual site. Elitism optional.

I find it hard to believe that this site is considered to be an intellectual site if you need to resort to making threads outlining simple concepts like 'what a critic is supposed to be' and why criticism isn't a personal attack. Anyone with half a brain could come to that conclusion.

That's also why I enjoy watching people lash out at Yatzee or any other critic. I get pleasure witnessing people who aren't firmly grounded in reality argue passionately against a man who's entire reputation entails mercilessly ripping apart a video game. The kind of people who wouldn't get a point if it were bolded, underlined, in quotes, with arrows pointing to it, on a Neon sign.

Don't take away my fun, pretty please.

I'm not going to lie, that post actually made me feel a little bad.

 

[GigaHz]

I'm not going to lie, that post actually made me feel a little bad.

Blah, you shouldn't feel bad.

That wasn't directed at you but at the mixed folks we get at this site. The kind that will happily laugh at Yatzee when he's ripping apart a game they have no affection for, then huddle into a corner when he so much as suggests that the game they treasure might not be perfect. It's a phenomenon I just don't understand and I don't think I ever will. Frankly, I love when he dissects the games I like mainly because I've made a similar observation that he manages to illustrate in a more entertaining fashion.

I just think that it's weird that you felt the need to explain these things to some of the people here in a public forum. It probably means that you had a glance at some of the responses I find so entertaining.

I don't think this will change a thing though. Fanatics in general are known for being fargone. There are probably still people that think Sonic The Hedgehog hasn't been in a bad game yet. Could YOU convince them otherwise?

 

[FalloutJack]

Hey there. I don't really watch Yahtzee for a serious opinion. I watch him to be entertained. Does...that make this argument sort of moot?

 

[him over there]

...

STOP LIKING WHAT I DONT LIKE

OH SO YOU DO

FUCK YOU

YOU SUCK

THIS GAME DESERVES A 10/10 AND IF YOU DONT THINK SO YOU SHOULD DIE

See, this guy gets the appeal.

Now imagine this for real, directed at Yatzee, with a mutli-page response about why every Zelda game is without flaw.

Doesn't that just warm your heart every time you see it? <3

My god it is glorious! Really though the fact that most people think Yahtzee is a 100% serious face reviewer in general is sort of pathetic, let alone the fact that they need to defend something just because a man on the internet who you'll never meet or know said it sucks.

Oh and about the site being intellectual, maybe smart but no meaningful discussion actually takes place.