The Escapist is now in ME3, what war assets would it provide?

[Mindlessidiots]

Just a idle fantasy I had, Imagine you go to your war assets screen and the escapist is wedged in between the turains, humans, salarians, and all the others and helping in the war effort. Using the power of creativity, come up with what units and heroes you think it would provide.

My Contribution

Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw: 100

A cynical video game developer, he has now turned his critical and judgmental attitude against the reapers, and already caused one to ram itself into the sun due to him making it feel so inadequate that it felt it should no longer exist in this world.

 

[tendaji]

Division, The forces of the escapist are so divided, that a compromise cannot be created, therefore the Escapist cannot commit forces to the Reaper invasion due to the eminent Civil War to take place.

 

[XMark]

Ending debate brigade: 10,000

Having been spoiled with the details of the ending, The Escapist has committed their vast resources of free time to assure that the conflict is resolved in a satisfying manner.

 

[Fappy]

Division, The forces of the escapist are so divided, that a compromise cannot be created, therefore the Escapist cannot commit forces to the Reaper invasion due to the eminent Civil War to take place.

There is not enough Paragon/Renegade points in the world to make peace at this point. People around here apparently started eating the native flora and have all gone batshit crazy claiming opinions as fact, generally hating anyone who disagrees with them and jumping to conclusions on matters they know nothing about. You know, like a normal internet forum

 

[NerfedFalcon]

Borrowed egotistical fat man: 350
The Reapers will look at Jim, listen to him being full of himself, and be so distracted trying to make him put a sock (or a laser) in it that someone else will be able to escape from a Reaper-targeted planet.

 

[ZehMadScientist]

Moderators: 500

A feared group of peace keepers on the Escapist. They could be compared to the asari Justicars; Well respected but feared for their ruthlessness against those who defy the (Escapist) code. Mods specialize in cyber warfare and jamming tactics.

 

[hazabaza1]

Whinginess:1,000,000,00
Able to whine the Reapers to death by any means possible.
[sub][sub]CONTROVERSY![/sub][/sub]

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

Captcha: 90000

the reapers wont be able to read the captcha's before using the mass effect relays, therefore cannot do jack shit.

we win.

 

[RJ 17]

Bitching: OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!

When the forces of the Divided Escapist Army arrive at the battlefield, they will be fully prepared to ***** the Reapers to death by using their deadliest style of *****-Fu on them. 50,000 years ago, the wisest Prothean sages gathered on top of ***** Mountain on planet Bitchia in the Bitchian Nebula and proclaimed the arrival of the greatest ***** Force the galaxy has ever seen! Sure enough, 50,000 years later, when all the ***** planets had aligned, the galaxy gave birth to the ***** squad called Escapist Members and we proceeded to make everyone's life a living hell cause we're such a bunch of BITCHES!

Thank you Team Four Star for inspiring this joke.

 

[Esotera]

Around 50,000 cavalary troops riding into battle on ponies, constantly complaining at Bioware for the unrealistic setting. The server guys would probably be able to help out with EDI, that could come in useful.

 

[Fappy]

Hipster Glasses: 5,000

Some members sitting on their high horses making easy targets and distract the Reapers while everyone else saves the day!