The Escapist Pantheon!!

[The Salty Vulcan]

Hypothetical. Lets say, after some sort of quantum in the fabric of space and time occured, the Escapist site suddenly developed its own unique collection of Gods and Stories. I ask you, my fellow Escapists, who would these Gods be? What would be thier names? thier duties? Free reign my friends. Free reign.

I'll start with Non! God of Law, Master of the BanHammer!

His duties are simply. Maintain Law and Order in the wild frontier that is The Escapist Forums. To do so, he is armed with a huge Hammer named Vertron. A mysticl tool that he uses to smite those threads that break the law. He is grim and has a very short leash.

 

[furry-ryuu-ken]

Doc, fixing posts and correcting mistakes.

 

[RatRace123]

The god of drawing attention:
Yazius
Armed with his legion of imps he roams the earth looking for lost souls and converting them to the way of the escapist. And once there, his mystic Trillby of Divine Judgement casts a yay or nay on the latest craze that the populace embraces. And the speed of his speach is enough to rip a man to shreds within seconds, his enemies have seen this happen many times before.

 

[Yokai]

Pantheon. The word you're looking for is Pantheon.

Well then, I'll go with Lol, dark god of inarticulacy and trolling. He sows his seeds of corruption everywhere with the aid of a mangled keyboard and an infinite supply of Mountain Dew. Many have fallen to his dark touch, and he is directly at odds with Non, unsurprisingly.

 

[XJ-0461]

Thor as The Super Mod. He has the hammer and everything.

Batman as the god of Vs threads. Given enough preparation time, he can win any fight.

Yahtzee as the god of fanboys. He draws the masses in and the other gods keep them here.

 

[Amethyst Wind]

Pantheon. The word you're looking for is Pantheon.

Well then, I'll go with Lol, dark god of inarticulacy and trolling. He sows his seeds of corruption everywhere with the aid of a mangled keyboard and an infinite supply of Mountain Dew. Many have fallen to his dark touch, and he is directly at odds with Non, unsurprisingly.

It's an easy mix up. The Pantheon is the collective title for the Greek gods, whereas the Parthenon was one of the main temples for worship of Zeus.

On topic: An associate of Lol, TuL'DuR promotes laziness and nonsensical responses through not taking in all of what is being said, he has been indirectly responsible for some of the greatest wars-of-flame.

 

[The Cheezy One]

As a Christian, I should probably have major problems with this. Eh, it's just a joke.
The following are all in good fun, no harm meant

Gaim sp't. The greatest rival of the Escapist legions, creating discord with their flexible ethics and dependance on numbers to outweigh proof of actual intelligent design (of games).

For'Chan. An untameable beast who constantly scrawls on the walls of the Escapist High Temple.

Pe'see Gaimars. The High Priests of the Escapists, they let no-one desecrate their Elitist power, despite the calls that their reign of old laws is crumbling

Kon'Sul Gaimars. The guardsmen of the Escapist Temple, They are lesser of number then the hated Gaim sp't rivals, but at least have self control. They are known for their bloodlust in battle and disrespect of their enemies, the Nooebs. Outnumbering the High Priests, and are the main ones calling for the end of the Pe'See reign. However, the Influence is currently even.

Pe'Ess Fre Gaimars of the Kon'Sul Gaimars. Favour equipment and pure strength as their option in battle. Rivals of the Ecs'Boks Fre-Zex'Tay Gaimars.

Ecs'Boks Fre-Zex'Tay Gaimars of the Kon'Sul Gaimars. Favour a wider array of Tactics in battle, rather then single minded-ness of their Rivals, the Pe'Ess Fre Gaimars.

Wei Gaimars. The experimentors of the Escapist, they are considered outside the league of the previous Gaimars.

OP: I think that the Mods have quite a long leash actually, letting people say and discuss most anything. It's only when things go too far that they pull on the choke-chain and give a good thwack with the ol' BH

 

[Yokai]

As a Christian, I should probably have major problems with this. Eh, it's just a joke.
The following are all in good fun, no harm meant

Gaim sp't. The greatest rival of the Escapist legions, creating discord with their flexible ethics and dependance on numbers to outweigh proof of actual intelligent design (of games).

For'Chan. An untameable beast who constantly scrawls on the walls of the Escapist High Temple.

Pe'see Gaimars. The High Priests of the Escapists, they let no-one desecrate their Elitist power, despite the calls that their reign of old laws is crumbling

Kon'Sul Gaimars. The guardsmen of the Escapist Temple, They are lesser of number then the hated Gaim sp't rivals, but at least have self control. They are known for their bloodlust in battle and disrespect of their enemies, the Nooebs. Outnumbering the High Priests, and are the main ones calling for the end of the Pe'See reign. However, the Influence is currently even.

Pe'Ess Fre Gaimars of the Kon'Sul Gaimars. Favour equipment and pure strength as their option in battle. Rivals of the Ecs'Boks Fre-Zex'Tay Gaimars.

Ecs'Boks Fre-Zex'Tay Gaimars of the Kon'Sul Gaimars. Favour a wider array of Tactics in battle, rather then single minded-ness of their Rivals, the Pe'Ess Fre Gaimars.

Wei Gaimars. The experimentors of the Escapist, they are considered outside the league of the previous Gaimars.

OP: I think that the Mods have quite a long leash actually, letting people say and discuss most anything. It's only when things go too far that they pull on the choke-chain and give a good thwack with the ol' BH

You really know how to get your money's worth out of an apostrophe, I'll say that much.

 

[The Salty Vulcan]

As a Christian, I should probably have major problems with this. Eh, it's just a joke.
The following are all in good fun, no harm meant

Gaim sp't. The greatest rival of the Escapist legions, creating discord with their flexible ethics and dependance on numbers to outweigh proof of actual intelligent design (of games).

For'Chan. An untameable beast who constantly scrawls on the walls of the Escapist High Temple.

Pe'see Gaimars. The High Priests of the Escapists, they let no-one desecrate their Elitist power, despite the calls that their reign of old laws is crumbling

Kon'Sul Gaimars. The guardsmen of the Escapist Temple, They are lesser of number then the hated Gaim sp't rivals, but at least have self control. They are known for their bloodlust in battle and disrespect of their enemies, the Nooebs. Outnumbering the High Priests, and are the main ones calling for the end of the Pe'See reign. However, the Influence is currently even.

Pe'Ess Fre Gaimars of the Kon'Sul Gaimars. Favour equipment and pure strength as their option in battle. Rivals of the Ecs'Boks Fre-Zex'Tay Gaimars.

Ecs'Boks Fre-Zex'Tay Gaimars of the Kon'Sul Gaimars. Favour a wider array of Tactics in battle, rather then single minded-ness of their Rivals, the Pe'Ess Fre Gaimars.

Wei Gaimars. The experimentors of the Escapist, they are considered outside the league of the previous Gaimars.

OP: I think that the Mods have quite a long leash actually, letting people say and discuss most anything. It's only when things go too far that they pull on the choke-chain and give a good thwack with the ol' BH

Nice work! Oh I know that. They're all lovely people really but how can you resist making a Thor expy patient?

 

[DJDarque]

Pe'Ess Fre Gaimars of the Kon'Sul Gaimars. Favour equipment and pure strength as their option in battle. Rivals of the Ecs'Boks Fre-Zex'Tay Gaimars.

Ecs'Boks Fre-Zex'Tay Gaimars of the Kon'Sul Gaimars. Favour a wider array of Tactics in battle, rather then single minded-ness of their Rivals, the Pe'Ess Fre Gaimars.

Why can't the Pe'Ess Fre Gaimars and the Ecs'Boks Fre-Zex'Tay Gaimars just get along?

 

[The Cheezy One]

You really know how to get your money's worth out of an apostrophe, I'll say that much.

Not like those lazy semicolons; I hate them so much!

Nice work! Oh I know that. They're all lovely people really but how can you resist making a Thor expy patient?

It is an easy reference to make!

Pe'Ess Fre Gaimars of the Kon'Sul Gaimars. Favour equipment and pure strength as their option in battle. Rivals of the Ecs'Boks Fre-Zex'Tay Gaimars.

Ecs'Boks Fre-Zex'Tay Gaimars of the Kon'Sul Gaimars. Favour a wider array of Tactics in battle, rather then single minded-ness of their Rivals, the Pe'Ess Fre Gaimars.

Why can't the Pe'Ess Fre Gaimars and the Ecs'Boks Fre-Zex'Tay Gaimars just get along?

Hardware and software differences. Pe'Ess Fre Gaimars prefer hard-wearing leather armour, whereas the Ecs'Boks Fre-Zex'Tay Gaimars would rather have soft-wear leather armour

 

[The Salty Vulcan]

Kroj'r. God of the Muses, The Great Entertainer

Kroj'r is a finnicky, flighty fellow. The God of Entertainment and Creativity, Kroj'r enlists the aid of his 12 daughters, all of whom are muses, to seek out and inspire those around them to create stories, clips, music etc in order to spread his influence. He is not malevolent or wicked just very preoccupied with his artistic pursuits. He can never refuse a challenge.

 

[Cypher10110]

Lurkar, a mysterious tentacled entity that occasionally surfaces from dark depths on a mission to consume all in it's path, never satisfied. It's blood curdling scream "MOOOOOOOAAAAARRRRR!!!" makes the stomach of any man turn.

Occasionally legendary quests are undertaken to distract the beast by battle-scarred heroes. But all know that it will never truly be defeated.

MAY THERE ALWAYS BE MOOOOOOAAAAARRRRR.

 

[Amethyst Wind]

Pantheon. The word you're looking for is Pantheon.

Well then, I'll go with Lol, dark god of inarticulacy and trolling. He sows his seeds of corruption everywhere with the aid of a mangled keyboard and an infinite supply of Mountain Dew. Many have fallen to his dark touch, and he is directly at odds with Non, unsurprisingly.

It's an easy mix up. The Pantheon is the collective title for the Greek gods, whereas the Parthenon was one of the main temples for worship of Zeus.

On topic: An associate of Lol, TuL'DuR promotes laziness and nonsensical responses through not taking in all of what is being said, he has been indirectly responsible for some of the greatest wars-of-flame.

"Par·the·non: The temple of Athena Parthenos, built on the Acropolis in 447?432 bc by Pericles to honor Athens' patron goddess and to commemorate the recent Greek victory over the Persians. It was designed by Ictinus and Callicrates with sculptures by Phidias"

Athena, not Zeus, Athena. She was one BAMF. Ultimate wisdom and warrior goddess? What more could you want?

That's the last time I trust Disney's historical accuracy.

 

[Ultrajoe]

 

[kikon9]

Unskibablus

Most people refer to Unskipablus as 1 god, but he is in fact 2. They are cursed to float in the sky, forever watching what happens and unleashing their own fiery commentary upon the planet.

 

[DJDarque]

I feel I should make people aware of the tri-god Extcred who listens to and considers the voices of the masses and make them heard by all.

 

[Jedamethis]

I second this.

Jedamethis
God of hugs.
[sub]And shameless plugs >.>[/sub]

 

[drbarno]

0.

The fast-talking god of hatred.