The inevitability of death (how do you deal with it?)

[Mr.Squishy]

Hey everyone, I've been doing some thinking as of late. Well, overthinking, more like. And I realized the gravity of the fact that we're all going to die some day, and our short lifespans don't exactly help matters.
So needless to say, I'm terrified. Terrified at the prospect of tipping over into the great beyond, the great unknown, the inevitable.
It's really started to affect my ability to function on any sort of level, and I feel myself getting more and more paralyzed with each passing day, to the point where I have what my flatmate describes as 'mild panic attacks' fairly often - I.e., I don't show it externally, but I lose my breath and become nauseated and panicked.
As you might have guessed, I'm not a religious person, it's never been in my nature, and now I'm kind of cursing that fact, because if anything, even if the afterlife exists or not, it's safe to say that religion provides a lot of comfort for people. I've considered taking up a religion just to have something to believe in, but that would just be very hollow, and I'm not sure I would believe in it.

So that's my piece, any help/insights would be greatly appreciated.
How about you? How do you deal with this fact?

 

[Qwurty2.0]

Well, to be honest, most don't. You don't really think about death until you get old, and even then you can't do anything about it. You just gotta accept that it will happen and do the best you can to enjoy the life/moment/whatever you have.

Everyone (including myself) have moments where it really hits you in the chest what it will mean when you die, but it passes and we just keep doing things like normal because we have no control over it.

 

[DisasterSoiree]

Maman died today. Or yesterday maybe, I don?t know. I got a telegram from the home: ?Mother deceased. Funeral tomorrow. Faithfully yours.? That doesn?t mean anything. Maybe it was yesterday.

 

[senordesol]

Best you can do is to give your life some meaning if you don't believe in continuation or second chances. Take comfort in those whom you've touched, and if you feel you haven't touched enough...well, you got some time yet.

I take comfort that there are at least two dozen people who now know how to swim thanks to me. My novel has brought entertainment to hundreds (and maybe even thousands or tens of thousands before I finally kick it). And I ain't done yet.

Am I worried that all my beliefs will be all for naught, that religious asceticism will ultimately be pointless? Yes. But I also realize that if that's the case; I'll be too dead to care.

 

[Elfgore]

Quite easily. I don't worry about it. I'm an atheist as well, so I don't believe in any afterlife. But I'm still not worried. When I die, I die. So I just live my life not worrying about death since it is impossible to stop.

I really have no tips for you besides this. Don't worry about things you can't control. You just get yourself worked up over nothing. Enjoy your life as much as you can.

 

[username sucks]

I live to enjoy the time I have. I avoid doing any planning or thinking of the future. My only goal it to be content. If I die in the next hour, I will not regret anything.

Still, I fear death. I believe that there is nothing after death, and that oblivion scares me more than the idea that my life will be for nothing.

I don't think you can ever fully accept your own death. It's part of our nature to want to stay living, and fear of death is part of that

I apologize if that wasn't helpful, that's just how I see things.

 

[Kolby Jack]

I can't really say anything to comfort you, dude. I mean, what can I say? "Nah, you won't die, man, not ever." That's a hard promise to make. We've all had moments like this. All I can say is it'll pass eventually. Life is for the living, after all.

You're right about religion, though. You shouldn't try to make yourself believe something for hollow comforts. Belief should mean something to you, not be a scapegoat for your own apprehensions.

 

[Happiness Assassin]

Honestly, I have obsessed over my own death in the past. How it would affect my loved ones? How would I know if it was my time? How would I want to go out? How long until I am completely forgotten? After awhile it got bad. I eventually got out of that slump (for the most part) thanks to therapy and drugs, but it still occasionally crosses my mind. Honestly, I specifically try to avoid it, if only to keep myself from getting depressed.

I realized that one day, after some serious thought, that none of those questions really matter. Most people who have ever lived have been long forgotten. Innumerable amounts of people lived short, unfulfilled, and inconsequential lives and compared to most, I have it pretty good. We are but one species on a small, blue marble in a galaxy of tens of billions of stars. We are truly insignificant. But that is fine. We don't need to live by some higher power, some grand destiny. All we really need to do is find peace, find meaning on some personal level. Do what makes you happy and try and find meaning in the good things you do.

Me personally, I actually reaffirmed my religion after realizing this stuff, possibly out of some selfish desire to give myself meaning or maybe just to find any kind of guidance. But it also allowed me to focus myself and dedicate my life to some sort of ideals that I personally hold dear. Since then I have tried to see the best in bad situations, treat people fairly, and try to leave the world a less fucked up place than when I found it. Now this is my own personal reaction to contemplating death and I don't expect anyone to even agree with me or think I am right. I fully expect everyone to question every possible avenue and find the one that best suits them. That is the point of choice. My choice just so happened to be in a familiar place. It gives me comfort. And that is enough.

 

[Colour Scientist]

I had something similar after my Grandad passed away two years ago.

If the panic attacks are becoming debilitating for you, I would recommend going to see a counsellor or some mental health professional, even for a short period of time.
I went for a couple of months I found it really helpful, I haven't had anything like that since and I haven't had to go back to see anyone.

Failing that, you just kind of have try to accept that you're going to die and you don't know when or how it will happen.
I don't believe there's anything after death so it's not going to bother me when I'm dead, I'll just be dead.
Accepting that inevitability, there isn't any point in getting worked up about it, you're wasting the time you do have here freaking out over something you can't prevent or predict. Instead of obsessing about death, try to focus on the fact that you're alive now and how amazing that is.

Also, if you don't have access to a mental health professional, look up things like breathing techniques that will help you to calm yourself down when you feel like you're starting to panic.
It sounds silly, it did to me, but it can be surprisingly helpful.

 

[MHR]

I just consider that at worst, death means the end of everything.

That means no more fear, no more aprehensions, no more sucky moments. You won't even experience an oblivion because you won't be experiencing anything at all. You won't be around to care that you're dead. After all, before you were born you weren't all bothered by the fact that you weren't alive yet.

But then it could be even better, so there's that.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

There was a time that I was so afraid of death that I twisted it into a kinky fantasy to flip the subject that my brain could see as good. Now that I'm married and I have a 50/50 chance of dying with someone who can hold me and whisper sweet comforting words it doesn't scare me so much anymore.

 

[bladeofdarkness]

thanks to denial... I'm immortal.

 

[Tenkage]

don't even care, I'm a good person (atheist) no god, who cares my body becomes plant and worm food so I'm providing something back, if there is a god and he is as good as everyone says he is, then I will be judged fairly, even if I'm an atheist


Why panic about death, gonna happen, might as well relax and enjoy life

 

[Creator002]

As of now, I deal with it by "I'm 22. Barring accidents or illness, it's a way off." As I get older, I hope the eventuality of it just makes me accept it.

 

[RedDeadFred]

I honestly don't think about it. I just accept that I'm going to die someday. The only thing that sucks about it is that I'll miss out on whatever crazy technological advances we make. I have so much of my life ahead of me (unless something tragic happens) that my inevitable death just doesn't seem like an important thing to dwell on.

Edit: I just remembered this. To give you an idea of how little I think about the possibility of me dying, I did come quite close to death a few months ago (adrenal crisis) and death never really came into my mind. Then again, I didn't know how serious it was so maybe I would have reacted differently had I known just how dangerous of a state I was in.

 

[Vault101]

This is why I like you escapist...y'all so rainbows and sunshine!

anyway all you can do us not think about it, or on some way through thinking about it come to terms with it, how you do that I don't really know. I tend to take the former route

It did get me thinking about children, I realised my only real reasons for considering them was the fear if being alone in my old age and dying alone, and passing on genes...I think those are pretty shitty reasons,

 

[Autumnflame]

thanks to denial... I'm immortal.

i raise general sluttyness and violent outbursts

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

I practice playing chess. I practice playing chess a lot.
When the Reaper comes for me he'll have one hell of a chess match on his bony hands.

As for tips? Perhaps see some kind of mental health person. Talk to them about it.
Panic attacks are not good and a shrink might be able to help.

I've had a few brushes with death and I've had a lot of people die in my life. Friends, family, pets. Young, old, somewhere in the middle.
I just kind of accepted that its going to happen and there ain't a damn thing I can do about it except try to enjoy the few years I have.


Lots of alcohol also helps.
Just sayin.

 

[FPLOON]

Spoilers: Quite well, actually...

I just realized that I would be the only person at any of my family member's pending funerals who would act like he never gave a fuck about the person in the first place... Sorry if I don't get all emotional and shit, but that's just how I am right now...

Oh... and if I died, you better not be crying your ass off and playing sad-ass music and shit! Play some of that old school hip-hop! Play some uplifting anime opening and endings! Play some GLOBDAMN happy music at my GLOBDAMN funeral!!

Anyway, despite being as religious as a tsundere with an unhealthy fetish complex[footnote]Don't ask...[/footnote], I would still be more worried about how my death would be taken advantage of or how it would make some dumbass's life more worse for some reason... I'd rather die with no negative ties to me, to anyone I'm connected to (intentionally or not), or to the future beyond my given deathbed than anything else, in terms of this particular subject...

Now, I need a Snickers bar... even though I should be asleep right now...

 

[necromanzer52]

To be honest, I find the idea of death comforting rather than scary. It's just nice to know that no matter how much shit happens to me in my life, I won't have to put up with it forever.

Like going to sleep at the end of a long hard day of work. That's how I see death.