The lies you were told as a child.

[anNIALLator]

Masturbate too much and you'll go blind.

Only if you get it in your eyes lol

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

Masturbate too much and you'll go blind.

It is possible, if you were hung like a whale or something.

 

[BIGpanda]

if you get stiff in your pants or shirt (my mom used to say this to me and my sister, thus explaining the shirt issue) god is gonna kill you.

everyone is equal in this world.

 

[Ibaapzo]

"If you eat watermelon seeds one will grow in your stomach."

That shit scared me. I remember crying and begging them to take me to the hospital because I'd already swallowed some. I was probably three or so.

:O My mom told me that if I kept eating beans, they'd grow in my tummy, and it scared the crap out of me!

I'm a child of divorce, and that's when the objective lies come out - when your parent lies about the other parent to make them look bad.

The more innocent side of lies include Santa, "don't swim after eating," "if you cross your eyes, they'll get stuck that way." Many that have already been said.

 

[anNIALLator]

That the sky is blue cuz it reflects off the ocean. Then why's the ocean blue? ALL LOGIC FAILS FROM THAT POINT.

I thought it was that the ocean was blue because it was reflecting the sky, and the sky was blue because the water in the air was reflecting the blue rays of sunlight?

Yea water is clear, and water is darker at night cause there is no sky reflect off.

No, water is blue. A very faint shade, but blue nonetheless.

 

[topsyturvy]

If you get stabbed from a graphite pencil you'll get brain damage or something... don't feel any dumber or slower after getting stabbed twice, yay.

 

[thatstheguy]

Santa Clause was real.

 

[KaZZaP]

I'm sure its been said but... there's a magical all powerful man living in the sky and he watch's you your entire life, and if you've been good you get to go to paradise but if your bad you burn for all eternity.

 

[Jake19539]

I respect all peoples faiths (or lack of it) but is it to much to ask to pull back on the God bashing?

Please try to respect others beliefs.

And why is there no Athiest bashing? Or Buddism bashing?

On the topic-----

I was told by my mother that if I swallowed a watermelon seed it would grow in my stomach.

Naturallt I was terrified and avoided watermelons like the plague.

 

[andrat]

"It's not you, it's me"
"God loves you"

 

[Mrsoupcup]

Sonic the hedge hog will improve. And Patrick santa in not he devil!

 

[Zer0 Zeal]

That babies are made by a "special kiss". Kinda true, but also a lie.

 

[anti_strunt]

I recall them telling me that everything they said was a lie... I never solved that one...

 

[Fatalis67]

I never understood the point of Santa. Why tell your kids a lie then just tell them it was fake after years of them getting hopeful?

 

[BIGpanda]

Sonic the hedge hog will improve.

......

that's my emo-moment of the day.

 

[Symp4thy]

I never understood the point of Santa. Why tell your kids a lie then just tell them it was fake after years of them getting hopeful?

What!?

 

[soulless_lover]

i figured out the deal with Santa Claus when i realized that he, the Easter bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and my mom all had the same handwriting.

also:

- sit too close to the TV for too long and you'll go blind
- don't eat the green ones or you'll die (said of bananas, plums, cherries, strawberries, etc.)
- Brussels sprouts and pickled beets taste good
- "we love you both equally, we don't play favorites in this house"
- if you swallow chewing gum it'll stick your stomach together and you'll die of starvation
- "this will be the last time we move"
- "you're too old to play with toys" (i was nine)
- doing well in school and taking Honors classes guarantees you a great future

and my favorite:

- "we never left you alone without a babysitter when you were a kid!" (like i wasn't coming home from school in the first grade with a house key on a piece of yarn around my neck. hurrah for heavily-whitewashed hindsight!)