Thinking about it, what is the stupidest fictional thing ever?

[VodkaKnight]

This isn't a thread to debate.
No, this is just to post things literally, and reveal their stupidity. you don't need to post what they're from, but you can if you want.
I'll start with one.

A government scientist and his daughter/dog get imprisoned and mercy-killed by a homeless serial killer.

 

[JoJo]

95% of all conspiracy theories, mainly because most of them require large numbers of people (e.g. the government, most climate scientists, the Jews and/or Masons etc) to all unanimously agree not to leak any conclusive proof to the public even though it's been done so many times before (e.g. Assange, Snowden etc).

 

[TheRiddler]

An old man puts balloons on his house to get to South America. On his way, he befriends a Boy Scout and a talking dog.

(I'm assuming that we're talking about fiction with premises that we find kind of ridiculous. We don't have to dislike the thing we're talking about, right? I really loved Up.)

 

[McMullen]

Mutating neutrinos and restarting the earth's core rotation with nukes are too easy.

The nuclear flash during the Yellowstone eruption in 2012 rated pretty damn high for stupidity and pointlessness though. So did the earthquake fissures that followed traffic laws earlier in the movie.

...Wait! I saw that one bit in NCIS or CSI or ICS or GTFO or whatever it is where the good guys get hacked and the two tech people try to prevent the hack by typing really fast on the same keyboard. If you've heard of computers enough to have heard the term "hacking", you have to know how absurd that is, and yet they put it in anyway. It's beyond explanation.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

I recently watched a movie called "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians." Absolutely brilliant.

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

The sun's radiation causing the Earth's core to collapse or some shit.

A man who's had his heart removed has to constantly electrocute himself to stay alive.

When giant monsters attack we spend untold trillions of dollars to create gigantic robots to fight them in hand-to-hand combat (and get angst-ridden borderline psychotic teenagers to pilot them).

A group of survivors get stranded on an island and after 6 seasons it turns out they were called there to stop Satan.

The entire galaxy's greatest protector of peace is an ancient order of warrior monks who abduct children to their services at a very young age to forever live a life of unquestioning servitude, devoid of free will, emotion or sex. If you do any of those things, you get labeled as a heretic and a traitor.

Aliens whose only weakness is water attacking a planet that is 70% water inhabited by creatures whose bodies are 65-something % water.

When a ghost civilization has grown tired of existing only as a memory they bring a sports celebrity alive from themselves to kill the planet-terrorizing ancient monster that's serving as their life support.

A time traveler fights every monster you dreamed up when you were 10 years old, including ghosts that are actually aliens who create zombies to make their civilization survive.

 

[norashepard]

Dinosaurs are reborn and convince all the children in the world to murder their parents. One singular purple dinosaur is tasked with teaching the human children, and he is aided by a green dinosaur that needs to grow up, a yellow dinosaur that has begun to appreciate human fashion, a lady pirate who can appear and disappear at will with a strange obsession with her hat, and a gigantic magic bag.

Yep. Barney sure was weird.

 

[EternallyBored]

The sun's radiation causing the Earth's core to collapse or some shit.

A man who's had his heart removed has to constantly electrocute himself to stay alive.

When giant monsters attack we spend untold trillions of dollars to create gigantic robots to fight them in hand-to-hand combat.

A group of survivors get stranded on an island and it turns out they were called there to stop Satan.

The entire galaxy's greatest protector of peace is an ancient order of warrior monks who abduct children to their services at a very young age to forever live a life of unquestioning servitude, devoid of free will, emotion or sex. If you do any of those things, you get labeled as a heretic.

Aliens whose only weakness is water attacking a planet that is 70% water inhabited by creatures whose bodies are 65-something % water.

If I remember right, the deal with the Signs aliens was that they actually weren't aliens at all, they were really demons sent by god to test man. Their weakness wasn't actually water, but that the water the priest used was somehow blessed, and that's why it burned the demon alien thing. Doesn't really make the movie any less stupid, or explain why the rest of the aliens around the world apparently just sort of fucked off on their own without really doing anything. But whatever, yeah that's apparently the popular interpretation for why that particular glass of water was so effective.

It's Shyamalan though, so it really all boils down to:

 

[likalaruku]

Canon-Sue protagonists. (God Mode Sue = Resident Evil, Anti-Sue = Twilight, Black Hole Sue = Charmed).

Armor double standard: The less she wears, the more it protects.

Also anything of the following books. I think the name of the URL speaks for itself: http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/10-real-book-covers-from-dinosaur-on-human-sex-novels/

 

[Me55enger]

A politically correct multi-ethnic group of people all walk alot so to return a piece of faulty jewellery.

 

[Mangod]

The logistics for the perpetual flipping war in WoW. The ideologies, sure, but there's no way either faction can keep this level of fighting going given the timeframe.

 

[Drummodino]

A genius millionaire ex-spy gets captured by MI6 on purpose so he can install a virus into MI6's network to release him so he can attempt to assassinate the organization's leader.

In the same movie a similarly skilled spy broke into said leaders's home completely undetected. The house appeared to have no security systems or guards.

Yea Skyfall was rather stupid when you think about it.

 

[ClockworkPenguin]

A politically correct multi-ethnic group of people all walk alot so to return a piece of faulty jewellery.

What? Okay, I accept that you can count 'elvish' and 'dwarvish' etc. as different ethnicity, but considering how often they refer to each other purely by race, they could hardly be called politically correct.

 

[Trivun]

The sun's radiation causing the Earth's core to collapse or some shit. 2012? The Core?

A man who's had his heart removed has to constantly electrocute himself to stay alive. Crank, which was awesome...

When giant monsters attack we spend untold trillions of dollars to create gigantic robots to fight them in hand-to-hand combat (and get angst-ridden borderline psychotic teenagers to pilot them). First thought was Pacific Rim until I read 'teenagers'. Neon Genesis Evangelion.

A group of survivors get stranded on an island and after 6 seasons it turns out they were called there to stop Satan. Lost, which again was awesome...

The entire galaxy's greatest protector of peace is an ancient order of warrior monks who abduct children to their services at a very young age to forever live a life of unquestioning servitude, devoid of free will, emotion or sex. If you do any of those things, you get labeled as a heretic and a traitor.

Aliens whose only weakness is water attacking a planet that is 70% water inhabited by creatures whose bodies are 65-something % water. Signs.

When a ghost civilization has grown tired of existing only as a memory they bring a sports celebrity alive from themselves to kill the planet-terrorizing ancient monster that's serving as their life support.

A time traveler fights every monster you dreamed up when you were 10 years old, including ghosts that are actually aliens who create zombies to make their civilization survive.

Soooo... what are those from then? I can guess some (in bold above) but I'm stumped on the others...

As for me, anything where the characters break the laws established within the franchise itself in order to do something. I'm fine with crazy shit happening if the universe allows it, but as soon as those established laws are broken within the plot and no valid explanation (even just a one-liner) is given then everything goes flying out of the window as far as I'm concerned.

 

[Me55enger]

A politically correct multi-ethnic group of people all walk alot so to return a piece of faulty jewellery.

What? Okay, I accept that you can count 'elvish' and 'dwarvish' etc. as different ethnicity, but considering how often they refer to each other purely by race, they could hardly be called politically correct.

Politically correct insofar as all three are in the group, as opposed to how they are identified.

 

[Thaluikhain]

A politically correct multi-ethnic group of people all walk alot so to return a piece of faulty jewellery.

What? Okay, I accept that you can count 'elvish' and 'dwarvish' etc. as different ethnicity, but considering how often they refer to each other purely by race, they could hardly be called politically correct.

And, they are all white, there's Asian looking (according to Tolkien, anyway) Orcs, and some black humans that they kill...odd way of being politically correct.

(In the original, the Dwarfs were Semitic and a bit dodgy)

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

The sun's radiation causing the Earth's core to collapse or some shit. 2012? The Core?

A man who's had his heart removed has to constantly electrocute himself to stay alive. Crank, which was awesome...

When giant monsters attack we spend untold trillions of dollars to create gigantic robots to fight them in hand-to-hand combat (and get angst-ridden borderline psychotic teenagers to pilot them). First thought was Pacific Rim until I read 'teenagers'. Neon Genesis Evangelion.

A group of survivors get stranded on an island and after 6 seasons it turns out they were called there to stop Satan. Lost, which again was awesome...

The entire galaxy's greatest protector of peace is an ancient order of warrior monks who abduct children to their services at a very young age to forever live a life of unquestioning servitude, devoid of free will, emotion or sex. If you do any of those things, you get labeled as a heretic and a traitor.

Aliens whose only weakness is water attacking a planet that is 70% water inhabited by creatures whose bodies are 65-something % water. Signs.

When a ghost civilization has grown tired of existing only as a memory they bring a sports celebrity alive from themselves to kill the planet-terrorizing ancient monster that's serving as their life support.

A time traveler fights every monster you dreamed up when you were 10 years old, including ghosts that are actually aliens who create zombies to make their civilization survive.

Soooo... what are those from then? I can guess some (in bold above) but I'm stumped on the others...

As for me, anything where the characters break the laws established within the franchise itself in order to do something. I'm fine with crazy shit happening if the universe allows it, but as soon as those established laws are broken within the plot and no valid explanation (even just a one-liner) is given then everything goes flying out of the window as far as I'm concerned.

The ones left out were in order:
1. The Jedi order in the Star Wars prequels
2. Final Fantasy X
3. Doctor Who

I put the mention of teenagers in brackets because it was supposed to refer to giant mecha stories in general, with Evangelion being a special case. And I like most of the things I mentioned, it's just that most of the stories in entertainment in general are pretty stupid if you really think about them.

 

[Zhukov]

I kind of want to be a complete troll and say, "God."

...

Fine.

Being able to access the memories of every single one of a man's ancestors by scanning his genetic code.

In fact, just about everything in Assassin's Creed.