Tips on how to survive a Zombie Outbreak

[SUPA FRANKY]

Surprisingly Search Bar Approved...I think.

I just saw Zombieland on Starz on demand and I loved it ( Even though there really wasn't a plot. Its really just everyone doing random shit. But what is there to do in a zombie attack?). The rules got me thinking of other tips you can give to someone.

Note: Don't list where to go. If you can't get there, than that makes it pointless.
Also, the zombies are talking about are fast zombies, but they run for shit. ( meaning, they are capable of running, but due to their coordination they can't do it well.)

1.) Don't get bitten

Kinda obvious.

2.) No place is safe. Only safer.

Yea! Max Brooks quote. But yes, No matter how comfortable you feel, if there is a way in, zombies will get through no matter what.

3.) Don't trust others

Yes, It is a lonely life to live, but trusting others will eventually leading you to get bitten in the ass. No matter how much you think you know the person, they will almost always leave you to die if the situation is helpless. I guess it is not so wrong to team up with others as there is strength in numbers, but simply don't put your faith in others.

4.) Loud weapons are a no-no

Chainsaws, Guns, and such seem awesome right? You can't have a zombie apocalypse without guns and chainsaws right? WRONG! Chainsaws are loud as fucking hell, which attracts the undead. They also run on gas, so your fucked if you run out. Also contrary to movies and games say about swinging a chainsaw. It doesn't work like that. Nothing can slice through solid bone with a single slice, and I doubt the zombies will patiently wait for you to finish while you take your time slicing there friends. Guns seem practical, but once they run out of ammo, there pretty useless. No matter what movies say, it is extremely hard to handle a gun. A head shot is really hard to do, no matter what your training, as your instincts will always tell you to aim at the chest. Also, I don't think you would be able to really concentrate with 5 maniacs rushing at you. Long melee weapons are the way to go. But i will say this, a gun is good to have. But don't make it a primary weapon.

5.) You won't survive. No one will.

This is also an important one. You will never survive this. No matter what you do, not matter where you go. You won't survive it. Something will go wrong, a zombie would get to close. You might be asking then whats the point of trying? I don't know about you, but I'd at least try? Who knows, I may have my ass intact after all.

So, what can you guys add?

 

[the_pleasure_is_mine]

Make a plan... Don't die.

Crossbows are awesome.

Also where did 5 and 6 go?

inb4 not another zombie thread.

 

[Aunel]

8) bring a bass, raise morale and make people want you to stick around

9) get a car and load it up with a lot of gasoline

10) drive said car of cliff, if you're going to die, might as well make it fun!

 

[SUPA FRANKY]

Make a plan... Don't die.

Crossbows are awesome.

Also where did 5 and 6 go?

inb4 not another zombie thread.

Isn't it obvious? The zombies ate them.

 

[Koeryn]

Your rules remind me of a quote from Serenity.

"You really think any of us are going to survive?"

"...I might!"

 

[Vhite]

Keep smiling.

 

[FISHFINGERS]

Make a plan... Don't die.

Crossbows are awesome.

Also where did 5 and 6 go?

inb4 not another zombie thread.

Hmm. I don't think he is telling us rules 5 and 6 because of rule 3.
He just doesn't trust us with this vital lifesaving info.

 

[the_pleasure_is_mine]

Hmm. I don't think he is telling us rules 5 and 6 because of rule 3.
He just doesn't trust us with this vital lifesaving info.

That damn SUPA FRANKY!!

Isn't it obvious? The zombies ate them.

Those damn zombies!!

 

[tobi the good boy]

be trained in some sort of medival weapon, you can have a huge naginita to slice zombies to itty bitty bits but thats wont do shit if you dont know how to use it.

Archery would also be good too be well versed in aswell whether it be with the previously mentioned cross bow or a simple composite bow

 

[Insert Comedy Here]

I'm screwed since they're runners, not as if they were a little rigorred in their mortis.

To add to the list, always have some tunes to rock out when you leave.

 

[xAnarchysAngelx]

Move to some place up north, were its really cold, zombies can not control body temp. and thus will freeze and not beable to move problem solved.
I would say stay in a group of people that you know will be helpful in the end.
Grow your own food, collect water, stock up fule (never know if your gonna need to ditch the place.) and raise some type of animal that you can eat, like chickins you get eggs, and sooner or later chicken meat. Make sure to have a dog they can act as watch dogs.

 

[Plurralbles]

search bar approved...? SEARCH BAR APPROVED!? BAD!, NO IT ISN'T!


Anyway, meh. Dont' suck, I guess.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

"If a zombie bites you, BITE IT THE FUCK BACK!" -Spirit Wolf

Other than that: Always have a plan B-E. No matter how bright a situation is, it can and most likely will get worse.

 

[godofallu]

Point 4 is really dumb. Long melee weapons is the way to go? Yeah way to 1 get easily overrun, 2 get their blood on you, 3 die painfully.

You can't actually kill a zombie with a melee weapon before it kills you, a bump on the head won't even slow the zombie down. Neither will a chop to the head or chest. Seriously good luck getting through the skull enough to damage the brain on the first swing, which is all you get at that range.

\Guns make noise, but i'd rather be loud when needed then get eaten alive.

 

[galdon2004]

Tip: Melee is worthless

Blood gets everywhere when you bludgeon something to death, you are just as likely to become infected by getting zombie guts all over you. Your three main ways to melee a zombie to death is 1) stab through eye socket. 2) stab under chin. 3) decapitation.

First one is next to impossible to accomplish unless you happen to be a professional fencer. the second is more likely, but the angle you have to thrust puts you at risk of having your arm grabbed by the zombie in the middle of it. the last one leaves a zombie head on the ground that will bite you if you accidentally step near it.

Your best bet for surviving a zombie Apocalypse is to prepare early, and make and stock a massive tree house like area. rope ladders only so they can be pulled up.. or in emergency cut down. Zombies can't shoot at you, so you are safe elevated, but you will need to make this dwelling self sustaining, transporting soil before hand and making a large enough garden to keep enough food to live on for a long duration. water catchers and purifiers will also be vital to your survival.

unlike walls, or buildings, trees have the unusual advantage that no matter how much the zombies mill about, they can't knock the tree down. Enough zombies can bash into a man made wall to destroy it over time 20-30-40 zombies could press into the wall to try to topple it. only 3-4 zombies could really push on a tree at once, and they don't have the intelligence to make a pushing chain in one direction to attempt to uproot it.

Because they are decomposing, you will probably only need to survive like this for a year or two before things settle back down, assuming fresh zombies aren't -constantly- being made after the first few weeks. by that point though most of the unprepared and stupid should have been turned, leaving only the best survivalists to cope.

 

[team star pug]

I imagine A rooftop on a street would be good. Set up on the roof, camp with a sniper making put shots, get some supplies from the neighbouring shops and if the zombies come through the door kill them if they are in small number or jump to the next roof. I know these zombies can run, but can they jump an alley length.

 

[Foxbat Flyer]

Cardio - Need it to be able to out run zombies, no matter how un-co they are, they can still get up and others can still be coming

have a pushbike to get around

know where to find essential items around your area, things like explosives (good for a zombie rush), weapons/ammunition, food/water, water purification plant for future water supply, place to sleep etc...

 

[A Raging Emo]

Your rules remind me of a quote from Serenity.

"You really think any of us are going to survive?"

"...I might!"

"Sure would be nice if we had some GRENADES about now, wouldn't it?!"

 

[The Geek Lord]

inb4 not another zombie thread.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

On topic... Metal base ball bat. Find a good one, make sure you swing pretty damn hard, and also, run *insert name here*, run!

 

[McNinja]

5.) You won't survive. No one will.

This is also an important one. You will never survive this. No matter what you do, not matter where you go. You won't survive it. Something will go wrong, a zombie would get to close. You might be asking then whats the point of trying? I don't know about you, but I'd at least try? Who knows, I may have my ass intact after all.

So, what can you guys add?

I can add that all you have to do is live for what, a month? Unless the zombies are feeding of magic, then they will starve to death if they don't get enough to eat. If they run out of brains, they'll turn to cannibalism.

I'll survive. It's really not that hard. Either get way up high in a skyscraper, or in an isolated area (like the open country).