The purpose of this topic is for anyone into writing fiction to share and comment on ideas for stories.
OK, I'll start with a story I'm working on that's called The Fall right now. It will probably change. Unfortunately, this story is huge. In the book, all this info is delivered slowly, like a tutorial in Portal. But I don't have that kind of time, so I'll just use huge walls of text separated by spoiler tabs. Here we go.
But before we get to that story, I'm gonna go over just what kind of shit the Civil Government gets up to. It's actually all significant to the story. So first of all:
Whooo, OK. I'm glad we got that out of the way. Now, onto the actual plot.
Part 2 actually takes place 15 years later, after the Republic has moved into the city, taken over, and then totally fucked everything up. The city has become worse then ever under Grant's rule, devolving into gang warfare. No one has even seen or heard from Grant in over a decade. Meanwhile, Steph has arrived at the city(she's had a busy 15 years) with one goal in mind: Assassinating Grant. It's kind of like Gangs of New York. If you haven't seen it, fix that.
So yeah, that's about it. I'm aware of some of the problems (lots of "sci-fi bullshit", some contrived plot points). But I want to know what you think.
So....What do you think? What ideas for stories do you have? Share them here.
PS: Sorry it was so long, if you chose not to read it, I do not blame you at all.
OK, I'll start with a story I'm working on that's called The Fall right now. It will probably change. Unfortunately, this story is huge. In the book, all this info is delivered slowly, like a tutorial in Portal. But I don't have that kind of time, so I'll just use huge walls of text separated by spoiler tabs. Here we go.
This one's a little more complicated. Basically, it's Half Life, but from a different perspective. And if the Resistance turned out to be just as douche-baggy as the Combine. And if the origins of the Combine were not only unexplained, but completely insignificant to the story. Perhaps I should explain. The story takes place in a city under the tyrannical rule of the Civil Government. The citizens of the as-of-yet unnamed city live in identical apartment buildings, wear jumpsuits with barcodes, and line up every day to receive food in the form of disgusting, Beef-Jerky-like processed protein. Shut up, Half-Life was just ripping off 1984, anyway. Oh yeah, and the police are brutality-prone assholes in robot-looking masks.....But there's actually a good reason for the masks! I'll get to that. And there are lots of robots aimlessly floating around. But they don't take pictures of you, they give you sloppy medical attention and probably make your injury worse. But I'll get to that, too.
So the story focuses on one family. There's the parents. The mom is a clueless moron who just wants to stay under the radar. The dad is a slightly less clueless moron who just wants to stay under the radar. Then there's an older brother, a middle sister(the main character) and a younger brother. The older brother is strong, idealistic, and a member of the Top-Secret Resistance Movement(Shhhh!). It's his job to take chosen citizens and lead them to the beginning of a secret route out of the city. He's also mentoring his sister on all the things about the Civil Government citizens aren't supposed to know on his spare time. He's prepping her to take over for him eventually. Oh yeah, the younger brother is...Well, he's not technically autistic, but he might as well be. He just sits around the apartment watching TV all day. He almost never talks, or even engages other people. By the way, the reason I'm not talking about ages here is because the entire story ends up spanning about 20-25 years, and not all of it is in chronological order. So age is kind of relative.
So the story focuses on one family. There's the parents. The mom is a clueless moron who just wants to stay under the radar. The dad is a slightly less clueless moron who just wants to stay under the radar. Then there's an older brother, a middle sister(the main character) and a younger brother. The older brother is strong, idealistic, and a member of the Top-Secret Resistance Movement(Shhhh!). It's his job to take chosen citizens and lead them to the beginning of a secret route out of the city. He's also mentoring his sister on all the things about the Civil Government citizens aren't supposed to know on his spare time. He's prepping her to take over for him eventually. Oh yeah, the younger brother is...Well, he's not technically autistic, but he might as well be. He just sits around the apartment watching TV all day. He almost never talks, or even engages other people. By the way, the reason I'm not talking about ages here is because the entire story ends up spanning about 20-25 years, and not all of it is in chronological order. So age is kind of relative.
But before we get to that story, I'm gonna go over just what kind of shit the Civil Government gets up to. It's actually all significant to the story. So first of all:
1. Six Months Of Community Service (To be served in the Civil Building)
So why is this so evil? Because, naturally, it's a lie. It's also the only punishment anyone has ever received for committing a crime. So what really happens? Well, "criminals" get sent to one of two places:
-Thunder Road: A slang term, obviously. This is where you get sent if you're a male in the age group who fits the physical requirements. Basically, you are knocked out, stripped, and placed on a literal assembly line that ends with you as an agent of the Civil Police. (Hey, it's not anything like Civil Protection. Shut up.) The process is kind of important, though. First, they remove a part of your brain and replace it with a computer. This connects you to one giant computer that keeps track of every agent-I mean officer- in the city. It also enables the CG(Civil Government) to replace your memories. You get a new set of memories, one that gives you a really good reason to hate people. Why? To ensure that you act like a dick to the people. Unfortunately, the process is a little iffy, and the fake memories don't always stick. Which is why, at the end of each week, the officers are required to take a nap in a "Relaxation Pod". What it really does is it replaces your fake memories with a new set. The officers are none the wiser. Just try to remember all that, all right? It will honestly be important later.
-The Sunshine State: Another slang term. This is where everyone else goes. It's a massive room filled with pods. Which, in turn, are filled with comatose people. Basically, they put you in an artificial coma, and slide you in a life-support-equipped drawer. And you stay there. The only reason they take you out is if maybe they need to experiment on you or if they need a new officer and you're close enough to fit the profile. Once you turn 65, the pod automatically cuts life support, cremates you, and sterilizes the pod. In minutes, it's ready for it's next occupant, and all the evidence that you ever existed is gone. It's pretty diabolical. Remember that, too.
-Hackers: The robots I mentioned earlier. Technically called "Autonomous Medical Units", their job is to clean up any messes that resulted from Police brutality. Problem is, they kind of suck at it, and usually end up making things worse. Bottom Line: If a police officer calls a hacker, you're more or less fucked.
So why is this so evil? Because, naturally, it's a lie. It's also the only punishment anyone has ever received for committing a crime. So what really happens? Well, "criminals" get sent to one of two places:
-Thunder Road: A slang term, obviously. This is where you get sent if you're a male in the age group who fits the physical requirements. Basically, you are knocked out, stripped, and placed on a literal assembly line that ends with you as an agent of the Civil Police. (Hey, it's not anything like Civil Protection. Shut up.) The process is kind of important, though. First, they remove a part of your brain and replace it with a computer. This connects you to one giant computer that keeps track of every agent-I mean officer- in the city. It also enables the CG(Civil Government) to replace your memories. You get a new set of memories, one that gives you a really good reason to hate people. Why? To ensure that you act like a dick to the people. Unfortunately, the process is a little iffy, and the fake memories don't always stick. Which is why, at the end of each week, the officers are required to take a nap in a "Relaxation Pod". What it really does is it replaces your fake memories with a new set. The officers are none the wiser. Just try to remember all that, all right? It will honestly be important later.
-The Sunshine State: Another slang term. This is where everyone else goes. It's a massive room filled with pods. Which, in turn, are filled with comatose people. Basically, they put you in an artificial coma, and slide you in a life-support-equipped drawer. And you stay there. The only reason they take you out is if maybe they need to experiment on you or if they need a new officer and you're close enough to fit the profile. Once you turn 65, the pod automatically cuts life support, cremates you, and sterilizes the pod. In minutes, it's ready for it's next occupant, and all the evidence that you ever existed is gone. It's pretty diabolical. Remember that, too.
-Hackers: The robots I mentioned earlier. Technically called "Autonomous Medical Units", their job is to clean up any messes that resulted from Police brutality. Problem is, they kind of suck at it, and usually end up making things worse. Bottom Line: If a police officer calls a hacker, you're more or less fucked.
Whooo, OK. I'm glad we got that out of the way. Now, onto the actual plot.
Our story begins (more or less) as the dad (Frank) and the oldest brother (Eli. Shut up.) are on their way home after a somewhat late Food-run. A police officer decides to pick on them. A scuffle ensues, and eventually the officer calls a Hacker. Kind of a good news-bad news thing, though: It kills the officer instead of attacking Frank and Eli. Why? I'll get to it. They are both sentenced for murdering a police officer. Eli gets sent down Thunder Road and Frank gets sent to the Sunshine State. But before he left, Eli gave his sister (Steph) a contact. She goes to the guy, and ends up getting their family a one-way ticket out of the city.
The journey is long and dangerous, but eventually they make it to the Resistance HQ, also know as the Citizen's Republic, which is in an old mining town. The group of citizens (about 25 people) are greeted personally by the leader of the Citizen's Republic, one Mr. Robert Grant. Unfortunately, as soon as they arrive, some Civil Helicopters (not their official name) are spotted in the distance. Grant springs into action, allowing all but 15 people safe shelter in the near-by coal mine. Steph's younger brother(Robby) is not one of them, and he gets gunned down by the choppers. Grant explains that the Choppers were looking for renegade human settlements, and most likely already saw the group of refugees heading towards the town. If he hadn't left anyone out there, the government would known that they were just hiding. As it is, they saw some people, and they killed some people. For them, that's better then "Saw some people, lost some people, couldn't find them again." That would require further action, and the Republic could have been compromised. The people of the public are not really convinced, so....well, there's kind of build to this in the story so that it makes more sense, but put simply: He marries Steph's mom in a political move. As the mother of one of the victims, she's....advantageous. She doesn't know that, though. She honestly loves him. Steph develops a pretty big hatred for Grant.
During her stay in the Republic's equivilent of a White House, Steph finds out lot's of interesting things about how it operates. Only 2 things are important, though: 1) Patchers. These are hackers that have been stolen by the Republic and reprogrammed to-that's right-attack the officer that summons them. You know, like the one that sent her brother and father to prison. The other thing she discovers: The Republic's Master Plan to destroy the Government.
As it turns out, the Civil Building (aka Civil Government HQ) runs on tiny, incredibly numerous, and incredibly powerful, generators. Generators that could be made to overheat and explode if exposed to a signal of a certain frequency. Activating one would cause a chain reaction that would destroy the entire Civil Building, as well as everything within a 5 mile radius of it. And how does the resistance plan on getting a signal into the building? By smuggling it in on the computer-brains of an officer. All they need is a soldier.
So they send a radio signal in the direction of the city. Sure enough, they send a chopper filled with armed guards to check it out. It doesn't take long for them to mob the chopper with patchers, crashing it. They pull on surviving guard out of the rubble, while beaming a pre-prepared "all clear" signal to the Civil Building. They knock the officer out, and implant the "bomb" in his brain, as well as some equipment that lets them see what he sees, hear what he hears, etc.
They send the officer back on a (I should have mentioned earlier; completely automatized) helicopter. He enters the Civil Building. We now have a situation where the entire Republic has gathered in the town to watch the (very huge) Civil Building bite the dust, while Grant, Steph's mom, and 2 guards are the HQ, watching the feed from the officer, with Grant waiting to pull the "Kill Everything" Lever. Meanwhile, Steph, deciding she can't let Grant kill millions of civilians in order to destroy the Government, sneaks a gun into the room.
Now, something funny happens. The officer with the "bomb" (remember, it's really just a transmitter) in his head suffers what's called a "memory failure". Basically, all his fake memories stack up, fall over, and cause him to start acting funny. He heads to The Sunshine State. Meanwhile, Steph is holding a gun on a terrified mother and a very angry Grant. Bomb-Head goes to a computer and enters a prisoner number. He opens a pod and approaches it. By now, the Government has figured out that his memories aren't holding together. They prepare to do what is protocol with memory failures: An officer moves into position to kill him. If he dies, the transmitter is useless. Grant becomes more desperate as it becomes apparent that his carefully placed bomb is about to be diffused. He starts begging Steph to let him set it off. Bomb-Head approaches the person in the Pod, and everyone in the Republic HQ hears an unfamiliar voice say, "Dad?" followed by a familiar and very confused voice say, "Eli?"
That's right, Bomb-Head is actually Steph's long-lost brother. And the man he's come to see is their father. She and her mother simply stare at each other in shock. Grant siezes an oppertunity, and goes for the lever that will kill everyone in the Civil Building. Steph pulls the trigger, and Eli begins to cry, just as the other officer places a pistol on the back of his neck.
And that's the end of Part 1.
The journey is long and dangerous, but eventually they make it to the Resistance HQ, also know as the Citizen's Republic, which is in an old mining town. The group of citizens (about 25 people) are greeted personally by the leader of the Citizen's Republic, one Mr. Robert Grant. Unfortunately, as soon as they arrive, some Civil Helicopters (not their official name) are spotted in the distance. Grant springs into action, allowing all but 15 people safe shelter in the near-by coal mine. Steph's younger brother(Robby) is not one of them, and he gets gunned down by the choppers. Grant explains that the Choppers were looking for renegade human settlements, and most likely already saw the group of refugees heading towards the town. If he hadn't left anyone out there, the government would known that they were just hiding. As it is, they saw some people, and they killed some people. For them, that's better then "Saw some people, lost some people, couldn't find them again." That would require further action, and the Republic could have been compromised. The people of the public are not really convinced, so....well, there's kind of build to this in the story so that it makes more sense, but put simply: He marries Steph's mom in a political move. As the mother of one of the victims, she's....advantageous. She doesn't know that, though. She honestly loves him. Steph develops a pretty big hatred for Grant.
During her stay in the Republic's equivilent of a White House, Steph finds out lot's of interesting things about how it operates. Only 2 things are important, though: 1) Patchers. These are hackers that have been stolen by the Republic and reprogrammed to-that's right-attack the officer that summons them. You know, like the one that sent her brother and father to prison. The other thing she discovers: The Republic's Master Plan to destroy the Government.
As it turns out, the Civil Building (aka Civil Government HQ) runs on tiny, incredibly numerous, and incredibly powerful, generators. Generators that could be made to overheat and explode if exposed to a signal of a certain frequency. Activating one would cause a chain reaction that would destroy the entire Civil Building, as well as everything within a 5 mile radius of it. And how does the resistance plan on getting a signal into the building? By smuggling it in on the computer-brains of an officer. All they need is a soldier.
So they send a radio signal in the direction of the city. Sure enough, they send a chopper filled with armed guards to check it out. It doesn't take long for them to mob the chopper with patchers, crashing it. They pull on surviving guard out of the rubble, while beaming a pre-prepared "all clear" signal to the Civil Building. They knock the officer out, and implant the "bomb" in his brain, as well as some equipment that lets them see what he sees, hear what he hears, etc.
They send the officer back on a (I should have mentioned earlier; completely automatized) helicopter. He enters the Civil Building. We now have a situation where the entire Republic has gathered in the town to watch the (very huge) Civil Building bite the dust, while Grant, Steph's mom, and 2 guards are the HQ, watching the feed from the officer, with Grant waiting to pull the "Kill Everything" Lever. Meanwhile, Steph, deciding she can't let Grant kill millions of civilians in order to destroy the Government, sneaks a gun into the room.
Now, something funny happens. The officer with the "bomb" (remember, it's really just a transmitter) in his head suffers what's called a "memory failure". Basically, all his fake memories stack up, fall over, and cause him to start acting funny. He heads to The Sunshine State. Meanwhile, Steph is holding a gun on a terrified mother and a very angry Grant. Bomb-Head goes to a computer and enters a prisoner number. He opens a pod and approaches it. By now, the Government has figured out that his memories aren't holding together. They prepare to do what is protocol with memory failures: An officer moves into position to kill him. If he dies, the transmitter is useless. Grant becomes more desperate as it becomes apparent that his carefully placed bomb is about to be diffused. He starts begging Steph to let him set it off. Bomb-Head approaches the person in the Pod, and everyone in the Republic HQ hears an unfamiliar voice say, "Dad?" followed by a familiar and very confused voice say, "Eli?"
That's right, Bomb-Head is actually Steph's long-lost brother. And the man he's come to see is their father. She and her mother simply stare at each other in shock. Grant siezes an oppertunity, and goes for the lever that will kill everyone in the Civil Building. Steph pulls the trigger, and Eli begins to cry, just as the other officer places a pistol on the back of his neck.
And that's the end of Part 1.
Part 2 actually takes place 15 years later, after the Republic has moved into the city, taken over, and then totally fucked everything up. The city has become worse then ever under Grant's rule, devolving into gang warfare. No one has even seen or heard from Grant in over a decade. Meanwhile, Steph has arrived at the city(she's had a busy 15 years) with one goal in mind: Assassinating Grant. It's kind of like Gangs of New York. If you haven't seen it, fix that.
So yeah, that's about it. I'm aware of some of the problems (lots of "sci-fi bullshit", some contrived plot points). But I want to know what you think.
So....What do you think? What ideas for stories do you have? Share them here.
PS: Sorry it was so long, if you chose not to read it, I do not blame you at all.
