Today I Was Shot.

[UAProxy]

EDIT: Because apparently half the forum is too ADHD to actually read the entire OP all the way through, I'm putting the point of this thread in bold.

THIS ISN'T A RELATIONSHIP THREAD. I DON'T NEED INPUT OR CRITICISM ON WHAT I DID OR WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. THE ACTUAL QUESTION IS NOW BOLDED FOR YOUR OUTRAGEOUSLY INATTENTIVE MINDS TO COMPREHEND. PLEASE ANSWER IT INSTEAD OF GRIPING ABOUT HOW I'M DOING IT WRONG.

Thank you.

No, not actually physically shot. Allow me to explain.

I've made it pretty clear on the big E that I'm a hopeless romantic. And while I've had my share of break-ups and bad days as every pursuer of that fickle ideal has, today was different. The girl I'm with had recently been dumped by her ass of an ex-boyfriend, and I stepped in on instinct and things just sort of happened. This went on for a couple days as we got to know and grow on each other, until today I had trouble thinking because of my typical lovestruck euphoria. We'd been flirting for a while now, but nothing was official. I was going to change that tomorrow because, let's face it, I truly love this girl. And when I love, dammit I love.

And then she announced that she was getting back with her boyfriend.

Bang.

It wasn't the news that hurt so much the shock of going from one emotional extreme to the other in under a second. It hurt badly. It literally hurt. Not the kind of despair that you normally feel. It literally felt as though I had been shot. Still does, really. I still don't know what to make of it. On a happier note, she did finally decide to part ways once and for all with her ex, so things are back between us. I'm still pretty shaken, though. I suppose that my emotions are my greatest weakness after all.

So have any of you had an experience that really stunned you or made you feel actual pain from the shock? What was it for you?

 

[Escapefromwhatever]

And then she announced that she was getting back with her boyfriend...

she did finally decide to part ways once and for all with her ex, so things are back between us.

I think this might be what you want to focus on right now- it seems as if she's still trying to figure out what's right for her. Don't assume that your relationship with her is stable right now, or that its necessarily the best thing for her to be pursuing at the moment. Be her guide and friend, but don't try to force her into anything that doesn't fit, as that won't turn out well for either of you.

EDIT: OT: Yes, I have had circumstances of immediate disappointment. No, I'm not telling what they were. I will say though that most of my emotional tragedy happens by building up slowly, rather than instantaneously. I'm not sure which I prefer, honestly...

 

[GHMonkey]

yeah, i have had it happen, but i gotta tell ya. the caring guy thing, it don't work. i know it sounds bad, but if your gonna go with the cry on shoulder and you dont tell her how you feel she will put you so far in the friend zone i you will have no chance. i can tell you from personal experience. yeah, it sucks, but once again it just don't work. happened to me in junior year. this is the BF who punched me in the face from talking to her to "intently".

also earlier this year my friend was one week from shipping off to the french foreign leigon. when i came into dance, i had learned he died in a hang gliding accident. last time i saw him i didnt even get to say good bye. just fell to my knees.

 

[Nmil-ek]

In before someone links that XKCD comic its pretty much this in a nutshell, no I'm not going to I have better things to do set at it web monkeys!

 

[UAProxy]

I think this might be what you want to focus on right now- it seems as if she's still trying to figure out what's right for her. Don't assume that your relationship with her is stable right now, or that its necessarily the best thing for her to be pursuing at the moment. Be her guide and friend, but don't try to force her into anything that doesn't fit, as that won't turn out well for either of you.

Oh, I'm aware of this. By 'back between us' I meant that we're trying to decide what to do now. It's getting there, but I've got it handled. I haven't really dealt with this before, but I'm already well ahead of you advice-wise.

 

[UAProxy]

yeah, i have had it happen, but i gotta tell ya. the caring guy thing, it don't work.

Apparently I'm proving that wrong at the moment. I suppose that's only with most cases. Though I'm also a different sort of 'caring' guy.

 

[Silver]

If you got shot you wouldn't actually feel it, not at first. It happens too fast for the body to be able to react that way, unless it's on an extreme end of the spectrum. A very powerful gun, and a very weak gun will both hurt like hell, but in the mid-range, they wouldn't.


To be more on-topic, and less off an ass, yes, constantly. At least a few years ago, I've always embraced my emotions, unlike most people I usually identify with, who seem to think they're a sign of weakness, and try to be ruled only by logic. As such, I've also thrown caution to the wind when it comes to falling in love with people, I won't try to guard my heart against potential hurt, and it does get quite painful at times. Worst one must have been falling in love with a professional model, just as both of us were at our worst emotional states, both suffering from bipolar disorder at the time and jumping between suicide, and happiest people on the planet. Long story short, she cut all ties between us, and we haven't spoken a word since. Unfortunately, that month was also the month she had a big company plaster posters of her all over town, I walked by three of those posters every day when I was going to school. I dropped out shortly after.

Every time I walked past one of those posters it felt like I was stabbed by a very blunt knife (seeing as a sharp one would have the same effect as a bullet, you wouldn't notice until it was too late), leaving a gaping hole in my chest. Not a pleasant experience. She hasn't got any big jobs lately, outside of catwalk duty, but it's still a bit of a schock when I come across one of her photos online, especially if I'm in a blue mood. Heart skips a bit, and then reality catches up.


To try and avoid a total downer-post I have experienced the opposite as well, and it seems to happen more often, when a word, or a call is so heartwarming it could melt snow, and you're just filled with energy. So, while emotions can be bad sometimes, they lift us up too, and allow us to go on. Besides, they are what makes us us, and I wouldn't give them up for anything.

 

[MrSnugglesworth]

Was misled by title.


Was sadly disappointed.



*sigh*

 

[UAProxy]

Was misled by title.


Was sadly disappointed.



*sigh*

I'm sorry.

I could shoot you, if that's any consolation.

 

[quiet_samurai]

How about instead of telling her how you feel tomorrow, tell her today. Right now actually, go do it. If you want something you have to go and get it, and who cares about her stupid boyfriend? Just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score a goal.

OT: No, it's never really happend to me the way you say it did for yourself. Sure I've been dumped and rejected, but it never bothered me as much as it bothered you. I have always been able to get over it quickly either by just not being around them or seeking out another.

 

[MrSnugglesworth]

Was misled by title.


Was sadly disappointed.



*sigh*

I'm sorry.

I could shoot you, if that's any consolation.

Its quite alright.

Bummer about your problem though.

 

[katsa5]

When my grandmother died on the day before my birthday; long time battle with cancer. I'm one of those people that some would describe as 'marches to a different drum', and she was one of the few people that understood me regardless. What a loss!
And another was in High School. My friend of many years was arrested for murder. And how did I hear about it? From the headlines of the newspaper. My family supported his family through the trail and aftermath. He was convicted and serving 25-30 years.

*reads* And since its also about your girlfriend, give her time and space (just a little bit) for the first little while until she says otherwise. ^^:: More or less what's said already. I trust you have good judgement.

 

[Sightless Wisdom]

Man and here I was hoping I would hear an interesting story about you being hunted by a crazy man with a gun.

Jokes aside, something like that has indeed happened to me. Unfortunately it's freakin' complicated and too annoying to be worth telling. Essentially the worst part was when I found out that my somewhat-ex-girlfriend was dating one of my best friends. Someone was supposed to have told me, they didn't, and so I found out after it happened. That was not a fun week of my life.

 

[Macgyvercas]

My dog died of a stroke the day after Christmas in 2006. He had a stroke around noon, and died shortly after. I got a little agressive when the vet brought up the "do you want to put him down" topic, and mom wanted me to leave. My response: DAMNIT, I am not leaving! I'm not going to let this happen again!"

By "this" I am refering to when my grandmother died. I told her I'd come see her again, but she died before I was able to. I was not about to let that happen with Jack (my dog).

 

[Bat Vader]

Considering the fact that I distance myself from people for exact reasons such as the reasons posted I don't recall much sadness in my life. My grandpa died when I was 13. I knew him pretty well but due to my who distancing thing I never shed a tear.

I do get a little sad when I think about all the books I will never have time in my life to read.

 

[whaleswiththumbs]

And then she announced that she was getting back with her boyfriend.

Bang.

It wasn't the news that hurt so much the shock of going from one emotional extreme to the other in under a second. It hurt badly. It literally hurt. Not the kind of despair that you normally feel. It literally felt as though I had been shot. Still does, really. I still don't know what to make of it. On a happier note, she did finally decide to part ways once and for all with her ex, so things are back between us. I'm still pretty shaken, though. I suppose that my emotions are my greatest weakness after all.

So have any of you had an experience that really stunned you or made you feel actual pain from the shock? What was it for you?

So you also have gotten the love shot. Fucking sucks doesn't it.

 

[UAProxy]

So you also have gotten the love shot.

That should so be a band name. I'm not even joking.

 

[L33tsauce_Marty]

yeah, i have had it happen, but i gotta tell ya. the caring guy thing, it don't work.

Apparently I'm proving that wrong at the moment. I suppose that's only with most cases. Though I'm also a different sort of 'caring' guy.

That's odd. My girlfriend loves that I care about her.