Trolls Are Welcome

[templar1138a]

Hey Escapists.

In light of the recent anti-trolling fee Valve has applied to Greenlight, I had a fun idea: Why not make a forum thread for trolling with indie game ideas?

That's right. Post your ideas for absurd, ridiculous, and downright stupid games here. The kind of games where if someone wanted to pull the scam from "The Producers" with a video game, they'd look here for ideas.

Here's mine: Hydro-Phil. A platformer where you play as Phil, a hydrophilic slug. Whenever water comes into the field of view, he instantly starts moving towards it and there's no way for the player to control him. All the platforms he has to jump onto and off of are floating on the water directly. And the game is set at the Great Salt Lake.

Your turn. Fly, my pretties.

Unrelated: Toyota's special offers can kiss my ass.

 

[yuval152]

You play as a shoutgun that shoots shotguns and the second shotgun shoots buckshot, but there's a chance that another shotgun will be fired from the second one and then a buckshot will come out, and it goes on.

It shall be called shotgun rain.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

Taxi Driver

You spend you day picking up and dropping people off. You do this all while avoiding hobbos, muggers, rapist, tornados, and unwanted construction.

Yeah I'm real bad at this... I just don't have troll blood.

 

[bobmus]

There is a can on the floor. A guard asks you to pick it up. WHAT DO YOU DO.

There is a guard on the floor. A can asks you to pick it up. WHAT DO YOU DO.

You have a gun, it doesn't shoot bullets, just gravity. WHAT DO YOU DO.

You have a gun, it doesn't shoot gravity, just a portal. WHAT DO YOU DO.

You have a gun, it doesn't shoot portal, just bullets. WHAT DO YOU DO.

...

I can haz be indi gaem desiner?

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

the moon, you are it, circa 1960s, you get to watch the little ape creatures launche shit at you... done! magic time!

 

[krazykidd]

Taxi Driver

You spend you day picking up and dropping people off. You do this all while avoiding hobbos, muggers, rapist, tornados, and unwanted construction.

Yeah I'm real bad at this... I just don't have troll blood.

Isn't that game called crazy taxi ?

OT: you play as a child , that played at the park too late and it's suddenly dark . He has to walk home in the dark while avoiding getting kidnapped , killed , lost . When he get's close to home , he falls into a manhole ( every game needs a sewer level). There are canibal hobos in the sewer who wants his young flesh ( to eat ) , sewer rats and mutated crocodiles. Once you navigate out of the sewers , you find youself in the ghetto . Time to dodge stray bullet and crack heads . The kid finds a church and decides it might be a safe place . Lo and behold all he finds is a "questionable "priest ( boss fight) .

 

[Hero in a half shell]

You are a new MMO that requires a subscription service.

Done.

 

[ThatHybridGuy]

You play as a kid who is watching his friend play a really awesome-looking video game. Your only ability is to ask if it's your turn. Every time, your friend says "No, this is my house! I decide when it's your turn!". You keep watching until your mother appears to take you home.

The next day, your friend comes over and hogs your video games. If you ask to play, he says "No, I'm the guest here so I get first dibs!". You keep watching until his mother turns up to take him home.

Repeat ad infinitum.

...Okay, maybe if you get really sick of your friend you can beat the crap out of him. But then the game ends because you're not friends anymore.

 

[Esotera]

I really wish someone would actually make this game, maybe it deserves a kickstarter:

 

[jbm1986]

/offensive mode - engaged

1) "MLP:Führer in Love " - A dating sim where you play as Hitler trying to date a character from MLP
2) "Abortion Clinic Tycoon" - Exactly what you think it is
3) "Kripple Kombat" - Physically challenged people fight to the death, MK style.

 

[Soopy]

the moon, you are it, circa 1960s, you get to watch the little ape creatures launche shit at you... done! magic time!

I lol'd that was mint.

Although, if it were me; You control a cartoony avatar based in a pseudo medieval setting, you command the avatar to perform monotonous actions for hours on end in return for numerical values.

Once every thirty days you're required to pay $15 in order to access this experience.

Does anyone support my project?

 

[Lt._nefarious]

A game where you play as a french chef slash pimp named Gustau who is best friends with Twattycakes McScowlyface, One day a giant yellow entity descends onto earth that makes everyone super happy apart from Gustau because his whores ran away and Twattycakes becomes too happy it makes him MAD! you embark on a quest to destroy the entity so people want your whores again... It will be a cover based shooter....

 

[Mikeyfell]

/offensive mode - engaged

1) "MLP:Führer in Love " - A dating sim where you play as Hitler trying to date a character from MLP

/Shut up and take my money mode - Engaged.

That's just... I'm speechless.

 

[jbm1986]

/offensive mode - engaged

1) "MLP:Führer in Love " - A dating sim where you play as Hitler trying to date a character from MLP

/Shut up and take my money mode - Engaged.

That's just... I'm speechless.

*Posts on Greenlight*

Hmmm.... NEIN out of ten stars!

/terrible pun

 

[Punch You]

/offensive mode - engaged

1) "MLP:Führer in Love " - A dating sim where you play as Hitler trying to date a character from MLP
2) "Abortion Clinic Tycoon" - Exactly what you think it is
3) "Kripple Kombat" - Physically challenged people fight to the death, MK style.

Why not combine all three into "My Little Hitler's Pony Abortion Clinic", where Hitler is the doctor who tries to date the patients coming in? (And Applesomething, who is protesting the clinic outside)

And later release the "Physical Therapy Wing Fight Club" expansion pack?

 

[Chairman Miaow]

You play as a mod on the Escapists Religion and Politics forum. You have to clean up the forums. Good Luck!

 

[Chairman Miaow]

/offensive mode - engaged

1) "MLP:Führer in Love " - A dating sim where you play as Hitler trying to date a character from MLP
2) "Abortion Clinic Tycoon" - Exactly what you think it is
3) "Kripple Kombat" - Physically challenged people fight to the death, MK style.

Why not combine all three into "My Little Hitler's Pony Abortion Clinic", where Hitler is the doctor who tries to date the patients coming in? (And Applesomething, who is protesting the clinic outside)

And later release the "Physical Therapy Wing Fight Club" expansion pack?

I'd buy that for a dollar!

Kudos to anybody who gets the reference.

 

[jbm1986]

/offensive mode - engaged

1) "MLP:Führer in Love " - A dating sim where you play as Hitler trying to date a character from MLP
2) "Abortion Clinic Tycoon" - Exactly what you think it is
3) "Kripple Kombat" - Physically challenged people fight to the death, MK style.

Why not combine all three into "My Little Hitler's Pony Abortion Clinic", where Hitler is the doctor who tries to date the patients coming in? (And Applesomething, who is protesting the clinic outside)

And later release the "Physical Therapy Wing Fight Club" expansion pack?

Haha.

*looks at map in the clinic*

Terminal Patients - Floor 3
Glue Factory ------ Basement

 

[jbm1986]

/offensive mode - engaged

1) "MLP:Führer in Love " - A dating sim where you play as Hitler trying to date a character from MLP
2) "Abortion Clinic Tycoon" - Exactly what you think it is
3) "Kripple Kombat" - Physically challenged people fight to the death, MK style.

Why not combine all three into "My Little Hitler's Pony Abortion Clinic", where Hitler is the doctor who tries to date the patients coming in? (And Applesomething, who is protesting the clinic outside)

And later release the "Physical Therapy Wing Fight Club" expansion pack?

I'd buy that for a dollar!

Kudos to anybody who gets the reference.

ROBOCOP