Truly awful books

[Adam92]

I recently read a called the chronicles of dark and light, it was easily one of the worst books I have ever read. It was full of grammatical errors, plot-holes, was incredibly repetitive and tried to combine sci-fi and fantasy, failing miserably. The only woman in the book was ogled by the men like horny schoolboys. I would not be as annoyed with this book if I had not paid £16 (Approx $28) and was only about 250 pages long.
I was wondering if anyone else had found a book as bad as this one?

 

[the protaginist]

yes,Saint by Ted dekker. here's how i describe it.


so theres this guy,and he's been kidnapped with his wife and son.He was in the army.he was kidnapped by these assassin dudes,and they're pretty mean.they make this guy,whos name is carl,kill two people and they'll set his family free.so he goes and kill them.then,he finds out he has no son,and the woman wasn't his wife.then,he trains with the assassins.then he goes to new york to kill this muslim dude.then,he finds out he's not supposed to kill this muslim dude,instead he has to kill the president.he takes the shot,but hits the one place where the president would survive.then,he goes to colorado,finds out he's the messiah or something,and changes his name to johhny drake.but he doesn't want to be.so he goes back to carl.and then he goes back to new york to kill the muslim dude.then he goes back to colorado to learn about being the messiah.then he goes to texas to kill the ultra powerful demon thing whos been hunting him since the beggining of the book(forgot to mention,theres this ultra powerful demon thing thats been hunting hyim since the beggining of the book.) and he blows 'im up.

NO KIDDING.

 

[meatloaf231]

yes,Saint by Ted dekker. here's how i describe it.


so theres this guy,and he's been kidnapped with his wife and son.He was in the army.he was kidnapped by these assassin dudes,and they're pretty mean.they make this guy,whos name is carl,kill two people and they'll set his family free.so he goes and kill them.then,he finds out he has no son,and the woman wasn't his wife.then,he trains with the assassins.then he goes to new york to kill this muslim dude.then,he finds out he's not supposed to kill this muslim dude,instead he has to kill the president.he takes the shot,but hits the one place where the president would survive.then,he goes to colorado,finds out he's the messiah or something,and changes his name to johhny drake.but he doesn't want to be.so he goes back to carl.and then he goes back to new york to kill the muslim dude.then he goes back to colorado to learn about being the messiah.then he goes to texas to kill the ultra powerful demon thing whos been hunting him since the beggining of the book(forgot to mention,theres this ultra powerful demon thing thats been hunting hyim since the beggining of the book.) and he blows 'im up.

NO KIDDING.

Yeah, Ted Dekker, for being so applauded, really is a terrible author. His books are childish power fantasies along the same lines as movies like Spy Kids.

And I trust Protagonist here for book reviews. I mean, look at his avatar.

 

[Ixus Illwrath]

I would say to me. Siddhartha is the worst book ever. based on the fact it's the single most opposite view on philosophy that exists to mine.

 

[the protaginist]

poeple like Ted Dekker?

 

[Jumplion]

The sequel to Eragon. What was it? Eldest? Yeah, i couldn't finish the first 5 pages before groaning in boredom.

 

[the monopoly guy]

I personally hate the Harry Potter series. I never finished the first book. That doesn't mean I gave up right then, I still tried to read the others.

 

[dslkfjsdlfkjdslkfjsdf]

1) Jane Eyre.
2) The House on Mango Street.

 

[ThePoodonkis]

1) Speak
2) Cold Sassy Tree
3) The Good Earth

 

[H0ncho]

The 3rd book in the enders game series.
The characters are slightly thinner than cardboard and the story relies on a series of illogical deus-ex machinanations, it is poorly written and way too long. Even the rabid Enders game fanboys on amazon didn't give it the massively overhyped score they gave the original.

 

[LewsTherin]

I can't believe I'm saying this but....Path Of Daggers. Filler filler filler filler.

 

[Ancalagon]

Okay, I've never actually read this book, but this is the best review of a terrible book I've ever seen:

http://www.amazon.com/review/R1LPA5YOND6TGD/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm

 

[Knight Templar]

The Septimus Heap series.

Dues ex machina wears thin after the third time in 2 pages, and when its streched into a chapter.....

Bad bad book's, but not the worst I've read.

 

[Shivari]

I personally hate the Harry Potter series. I never finished the first book. That doesn't mean I gave up right then, I still tried to read the others.

I loved them, I read the 7th book in less than 2 days. Stood around for 5 hours to get it too and I loved every second of it.

 

[Marbas]

Anything by Paolini. My god. That boy should not be writing.

 

[internutt]

Okay, I've never actually read this book, but this is the best review of a terrible book I've ever seen:

http://www.amazon.com/review/R1LPA5YOND6TGD/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm

Wow, just wow. This gives me confidence I could get a novel published! I do not know if that is a good thing however.

 

[Jumplion]

The Septimus Heap series.

I remember reading that book. What a heap of Septimus it was.

 

[The Sorrow]

The most recent Artemis Fowl.
Book 1: NICE!
Book 2: EVEN BETTER!
Book 3: WOW!
Book 4: AWESOME!
Book 5: Ummm...yay?
Book 6: Bleurgh.

 

[Quaidis]

The sequel to Eragon. What was it? Eldest? Yeah, i couldn't finish the first 5 pages before groaning in boredom.

I agree, and I read the entire book. It's clear that the author left the help of his editors and parents for the sequel. There were many typos throughout the book and it's a tad painful to read. Halfway through, when Eragon and his dragon deal with 'love', it becomes a terrible chat room teen drama - as if that's basically where he recieved his material. "Oh, Eragon. This feeling that's all over me. Is this. Is this LOVE?! Oh OH!" eh-hem

I read independent author books. If books on the market look bad, that is where you go to find some of the worst drivel ever written. Everyone's first book sucks when it comes to indy books. And most of these authors write their books after D&D campaigns (to this I am dead serious; the authors tell me this specifically.) There was one, Elf Stalker or something similar, that was wretchedly awful. The picture on the cover is basically a drawn head shot of the author, herself, which goes far to indicate how the main character ends up behaving in the book. There was her, a vaguely conceived boyfriend-type character, and two 2d characters that follow at her beck and call. They follow on a D&D campaign to kill a hoard of orks with their dwarf, elf, half-elf, and human friends. The main character is cursed by a ring that deems the end of everyone. She is the problem, saves the day, chases the cliche bad guy, saves the day, finds that everyone hates her and kills herself, but finds that everyone saves her because they like her after all, then she saves the day! What was worse was the writing, which was similar to Tolkien. She repeats herself every paragraph. "They were going to find that bad guy. They are still chasing that bad guy. Remember that bad guy? Well, they're still trying to find him! Oh, they almost found that bad guy that they were chasing." And this went on for a damned bible-length. But I forced myself through it regardless due to the fact that I try to give authors a chance. That's also why I forced myself through the second Eragon book, on the by.

Wait, let me go back for a second there. Why on earth are new authors writing seventeen hundred page books? Or even six hundred page books? Usually with tiny print. When I read them, I find that so much could have been cut out, sometimes up to 2/3rds of the book, without damaging the story whatsoever. It bores the reader to have to read drivel or filler material.


(On the by, I read Indy books because there are some absolute gems out there, and usually the author gets better after a few. That's why I give all the support, unless the first book I read from them is self-inflicted torture to get through.)

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

The Thomas Covenant Series : I've got feeling back so I'll rape the first woman I see...And this is the Hero????
The Da Vinci Code : 'nuff said.