An appropriately insane look at Twinsanity.
The game Crash Twinsanity has basically been treated to two different types of reviews: ones saying `It`s mostly crap, however . . .` and ones saying `It`s pretty good, but . . .` However, I`m going to have to break this dichotomy and declare that, to me, it was ABSOLUTELY FUCKING MAGIC.
I know that the rest of the world doesn`t think this. I know that everyone reading this review, if they`ve actually played the game, will wonder what the hell is wrong with me and whether I`m a stealth advertiser working for whoever made it. I can`t really explain why I like it so much, but I do, and I insist on sharing this opinion with you. Here I go!
Things that everyone else will like:
The stuff in the game whose apparent beauty was, I`m reasonably certain, NOT caused by brain damage on my part.
? Probably my favourite thing was that for every gem you collected, you immediately got a lovely reward. Not just one, but several screens-worth of concept art/storyboards/animations/bellybutton fluff awaited you every single time you got your paws on an optional item. I can`t tell you how irritating I find it in most games when I spend half an hour trying to get that one power cell (or whatever) only to realise I need four more to be properly rewarded.
? The Ant Agony level (I think that`s what it`s called, at least) is utterly brilliant. The jump-around-the-coloured-squares-of-energy thing was intensely fun, and every section of it was artful and challenging enough to leave me breathless. Even if I had hated the rest, that would have been worth the cost of the entire game. Now, if only it wasn`t the second-to-last level . . .
? The game`s graphics are brilliant. I`m not going to dwell on this, since no-one really cares about graphics these days (including me). But really, they were.
? The music is basically sonic marmite: either you love it or you hate it. I loved it, and I have it on good authority that most people felt the same.
? Settings and challenges alternate so much that even if you get irritated by gameplay, you may keep playing for the sheer novelty of it. One time, you actually use your virtual teammate as a snowboard, crashing through a chicken coop, escaping the clutches of rocket-powered penguins and dodging little purple ant-thingies with lightsabres all in the same level. I am not making this up, and you can trust that this does actually make (more) sense in context.
Things that everyone else will dislike:
The things even I`m prepared to admit are wrong with this game.
? It`s quite obvious that this game was cut short about two thirds of the way through development. For the most part, this hasn`t affected it too badly, but a few distinct problem areas stand out. For example, there`s this one level where I have to protect my worst enemy from running into nitro crates and spikes while he`s being chased by an evil version of myself (long story), and about halfway through, the evil version of myself glitches up and ends up twirling frantically around in circles. Old Doc Cortex, for it is he, just keeps on running away from thin air. This isn`t just an isolated incident, either; it happens every damn time I play the level. What the hell, guys, never heard of beta testing?
? The half-a-dozen cutscenes the game actually allows you to skip are the lovingly rendered ones with the relatively good jokes. Just . . . what IS that?
? The difficulty curve is nonexistent; after an easy-as-pie tutorial level, you`re sent directly to the second-hardest level in the game, and the level of challenge continues almost as schizophrenically as this from there onwards. The result is that less experienced gamers will find themselves splattered against a wall, while 1337 pwn3r3r5 will repeatedly find themselves a little unchallenged.
? There`s no easy way to replay earlier levels. You can technically loop back through Iceberg Lab to reach them, but this takes far longer than it should and I still haven`t found any way to return to the first two levels. Basically, if you plan to collect every last gem, you should do so in one playthrough. Speaking of which, the mysterious final reward for getting all the gems is just a short animation of Crash randomly swinging a sword around. Talk about a letdown.
Things that almost no-one else will like:
Basically 70% of the game, but I`ll pick out the biggest examples.
? From a storytelling perspective, the game to me seemed to do no wrong. The storyline gave me a euphoric sense of `what-the-fuck?` which was somehow beautifully complemented by the gleefully whacked-out (but on occasion, painfully forced) humour. It made no sense but I loved it. Actually, on second thoughts, it did better than that; it gave the distinct impression that sense was being made, and that I just wasn`t in on the knowledge that would allow me to understand it. And that, for some reason, I found to be incredibly enjoyable.
? The parts that anyone else would find arbitrarily difficult and frustrating, I found to be beautifully-sculpted challenges; the parts that anyone else would see as too easy, I saw as welcome respites between said challenges. Even the bits where I thought the gameplay was `meh`, I found interesting in other ways; and they acted as great foils for the good levels (like the delicious Ant Agony).
? The way in which you had to start the whole chapter again if you ran out of lives gave a pleasant campaign-ish feel to the game, and helpfully counterbalanced the overabundance of lives.
? I actually found the final boss suitably fun and climatic. I KNOW that I am literally the only person on Earth that would feel this, but that`s the truth.
Things that almost no-one else will dislike:
As my insanity giveth with one hand, so it taketh with the other . . .
? Nina can`t double jump. I don`t know why I hate this decidedly unimportant aspect of gameplay so much, but I do.
? Aku Aku`s voice in this game annoys me to no end. I`m really glad he only has about four lines of dialogue, and that he stops yammering altogether after he gets his nonexistent ass handed to him by a pair of evil parrots. (Once again, NOT making this up)
? And speaking of everyone`s favourite talking mask, I found it quite annoying how de-powered the three-mask powerup is in Twinsanity. All it does is stop you taking damage from the handful of enemies that aren`t hopelessly easy to avoid. I remember back in Warped, where if you somehow managed to scrape three masks together you became an orange-furred avatar of doom for the next twenty-or-so seconds, stoppable only by the occasional bottomless pit. But I guess it`s not all bad; at least they keep the immunity to explosi . . . KABOOM!! Oh no, wait, they don`t.
Final notes:
? If you`re insane like me, buy this game.
? If you don`t think you`re insane like me, rent it just in case.
? If a friend has this game and is likely to play it all the way through, get them to save to a different file at the start of Ant Agony, and just play through that one level.
? Sonic Marmite should totally be either a band name or Doctor Who`s newest piece of equipment (product-placement-licious!). Discuss.
The game Crash Twinsanity has basically been treated to two different types of reviews: ones saying `It`s mostly crap, however . . .` and ones saying `It`s pretty good, but . . .` However, I`m going to have to break this dichotomy and declare that, to me, it was ABSOLUTELY FUCKING MAGIC.
I know that the rest of the world doesn`t think this. I know that everyone reading this review, if they`ve actually played the game, will wonder what the hell is wrong with me and whether I`m a stealth advertiser working for whoever made it. I can`t really explain why I like it so much, but I do, and I insist on sharing this opinion with you. Here I go!
Things that everyone else will like:
The stuff in the game whose apparent beauty was, I`m reasonably certain, NOT caused by brain damage on my part.
? Probably my favourite thing was that for every gem you collected, you immediately got a lovely reward. Not just one, but several screens-worth of concept art/storyboards/animations/bellybutton fluff awaited you every single time you got your paws on an optional item. I can`t tell you how irritating I find it in most games when I spend half an hour trying to get that one power cell (or whatever) only to realise I need four more to be properly rewarded.
? The Ant Agony level (I think that`s what it`s called, at least) is utterly brilliant. The jump-around-the-coloured-squares-of-energy thing was intensely fun, and every section of it was artful and challenging enough to leave me breathless. Even if I had hated the rest, that would have been worth the cost of the entire game. Now, if only it wasn`t the second-to-last level . . .
? The game`s graphics are brilliant. I`m not going to dwell on this, since no-one really cares about graphics these days (including me). But really, they were.
? The music is basically sonic marmite: either you love it or you hate it. I loved it, and I have it on good authority that most people felt the same.
? Settings and challenges alternate so much that even if you get irritated by gameplay, you may keep playing for the sheer novelty of it. One time, you actually use your virtual teammate as a snowboard, crashing through a chicken coop, escaping the clutches of rocket-powered penguins and dodging little purple ant-thingies with lightsabres all in the same level. I am not making this up, and you can trust that this does actually make (more) sense in context.
Things that everyone else will dislike:
The things even I`m prepared to admit are wrong with this game.
? It`s quite obvious that this game was cut short about two thirds of the way through development. For the most part, this hasn`t affected it too badly, but a few distinct problem areas stand out. For example, there`s this one level where I have to protect my worst enemy from running into nitro crates and spikes while he`s being chased by an evil version of myself (long story), and about halfway through, the evil version of myself glitches up and ends up twirling frantically around in circles. Old Doc Cortex, for it is he, just keeps on running away from thin air. This isn`t just an isolated incident, either; it happens every damn time I play the level. What the hell, guys, never heard of beta testing?
? The half-a-dozen cutscenes the game actually allows you to skip are the lovingly rendered ones with the relatively good jokes. Just . . . what IS that?
? The difficulty curve is nonexistent; after an easy-as-pie tutorial level, you`re sent directly to the second-hardest level in the game, and the level of challenge continues almost as schizophrenically as this from there onwards. The result is that less experienced gamers will find themselves splattered against a wall, while 1337 pwn3r3r5 will repeatedly find themselves a little unchallenged.
? There`s no easy way to replay earlier levels. You can technically loop back through Iceberg Lab to reach them, but this takes far longer than it should and I still haven`t found any way to return to the first two levels. Basically, if you plan to collect every last gem, you should do so in one playthrough. Speaking of which, the mysterious final reward for getting all the gems is just a short animation of Crash randomly swinging a sword around. Talk about a letdown.
Things that almost no-one else will like:
Basically 70% of the game, but I`ll pick out the biggest examples.
? From a storytelling perspective, the game to me seemed to do no wrong. The storyline gave me a euphoric sense of `what-the-fuck?` which was somehow beautifully complemented by the gleefully whacked-out (but on occasion, painfully forced) humour. It made no sense but I loved it. Actually, on second thoughts, it did better than that; it gave the distinct impression that sense was being made, and that I just wasn`t in on the knowledge that would allow me to understand it. And that, for some reason, I found to be incredibly enjoyable.
? The parts that anyone else would find arbitrarily difficult and frustrating, I found to be beautifully-sculpted challenges; the parts that anyone else would see as too easy, I saw as welcome respites between said challenges. Even the bits where I thought the gameplay was `meh`, I found interesting in other ways; and they acted as great foils for the good levels (like the delicious Ant Agony).
? The way in which you had to start the whole chapter again if you ran out of lives gave a pleasant campaign-ish feel to the game, and helpfully counterbalanced the overabundance of lives.
? I actually found the final boss suitably fun and climatic. I KNOW that I am literally the only person on Earth that would feel this, but that`s the truth.
Things that almost no-one else will dislike:
As my insanity giveth with one hand, so it taketh with the other . . .
? Nina can`t double jump. I don`t know why I hate this decidedly unimportant aspect of gameplay so much, but I do.
? Aku Aku`s voice in this game annoys me to no end. I`m really glad he only has about four lines of dialogue, and that he stops yammering altogether after he gets his nonexistent ass handed to him by a pair of evil parrots. (Once again, NOT making this up)
? And speaking of everyone`s favourite talking mask, I found it quite annoying how de-powered the three-mask powerup is in Twinsanity. All it does is stop you taking damage from the handful of enemies that aren`t hopelessly easy to avoid. I remember back in Warped, where if you somehow managed to scrape three masks together you became an orange-furred avatar of doom for the next twenty-or-so seconds, stoppable only by the occasional bottomless pit. But I guess it`s not all bad; at least they keep the immunity to explosi . . . KABOOM!! Oh no, wait, they don`t.
Final notes:
? If you`re insane like me, buy this game.
? If you don`t think you`re insane like me, rent it just in case.
? If a friend has this game and is likely to play it all the way through, get them to save to a different file at the start of Ant Agony, and just play through that one level.
? Sonic Marmite should totally be either a band name or Doctor Who`s newest piece of equipment (product-placement-licious!). Discuss.