Ways of becoming witty?

[Billion Backs]

You have to kill a witty person and feast on their brains and organs to become one.

Also,

The kind of banter you see in films is only possible under the influence of script writers. People are never that clever. Even Winston Churchill, the prodigy of banter, only has a few quotes to his name out of the undoubtable hundreds of possible opportunities.

In my opinion, the best way to become humorous is to watch comedy, read books, and get into arguments. The former two give you quick-draw comebacks to use, as well as expanding your vocabulary, the latter is simply practice. Try playing the game outlined above.

It helps to work on your overall speaking skills and memorizing a number of useful responses at first. Then, over time, you might be able to come up with some things on the go. Basically, what the poster quoted above said.

 

[Not-here-anymore]

Basically, practice. At the end of any conversation, you'll think of several witty things you could have said (Note: remember them, use them if a similar conversation topic comes up, but don't force them in). If you think about it, these witty lines will come up quicker and quicker, until eventually they should just appear pretty much on the fly.

Or you could just say 'like your Mum' at the end of every sentence someone else says. But that's only funny about 80% of the time. 'That's what she said' has a slightly higher success rate, at about 82%. Made-up statistics, however, have a much lower success rate, of around 43.4%...

 

[teutonicman]

You can learn from me. but be aware i charge a hefty fine to share my wits to others.

If you're good at something never do it for free.

 

[oktalist]

I remember when I posed as a customs officer so that I could meet Oscar Wilde. I said to him "Have you anything to declare?" He said "I have nothing to declare but my genius." I said "I'll put that down as nothing then shall I?" For I am the wittiest man on Earth.
-Simon Munnery

"Brevity is the soul of wit" said Shakespeare. I say "Wank!" Thus I win.
-Simon Munnery (again)

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

You can learn from me. but be aware i charge a hefty fine to share my wits to others.

If you're good at something never do it for free.

Exactly good sir.

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

Read and observe.

Do not just observe comedians, because that might lead to you imitating comedians. Observe how conversations and debates are structured.

This. It takes a good amount of wit to be good at debating, so studying how to hold an argument can help with wit. Believe it or not, the internet is one of the best places to learn debate skills. This site, thanks to its heavy moderation, isn't really the best place for it, but gamefaqs at the time of a new system launch can be a good one. Frequently, you'll wind up with either one person with good debate skills talking circles around some troll, or better -- if less common -- two good debaters going for each others throats. Reading through either situation can help with debate skills and, by extension, wit.

 

[gillebro]

yeah. be well-read. and know about stuff. and look out for opportunities. if someone has a bandaged ear, you say "good luck with the van gogh (however that's spelt) impersonation". tbh though, it's an art form. some have it, some don't. a good idea is to appreciate the people that have it, and not be too bummed if you don't.

 

[gillebro]

What is with the tirade of "Be British" comments all of a sudden?

I know we can be funny but that's because there isn't much else to do on this island, and world domination is somewhat frowned upon these days...

After living here for nearly two years, rest assured that I will never ever recommend being British to anybody. I think it requires a certain amount of strength to be a Brit, and I certainly haven't got it.

 

[Danpascooch]

Fellow Escapists, in what way can one become witty? I have never seen myself as being witty being that I often talk radnom jibberish to which no one cares to which I hope someone giggles to which a lot of the time it does happen and I am pleased. But I was watching some Blackadder and I thought he is one witty man and is henceforth very cool. I know this would probably knock my popularity down like what a Wrecking Ball does to a block of flats. (Was that witty? Probabaly shite I don't know I can't define it either, oh the tragedy). Anyway can anyone help me? I just realised, how could I call Blackadder witty without knowing what witty means? I just thought what he says is along the lines of wittiness. Anyway my fellow Escapists give me the key to the holy gate of the Witty so I can further my knowledge on the human psyche or mind or whatever it is you call it. Tar very much chuck!

Be intelligent, and charismatic, sorry, but we aren't all born with my supernatural charm and wit.

See my avatar? I convinced that zombie to POSE for me

You better not have

Damn straight I did, now the zombie does my taxes too, and when the IRS gets pissed that all they got was blank tax forms covered in blood, I just let him loose at the IRS offices.

 

[BlumiereBleck]

Study Oscar Wilde.

 

[Soxafloppin]

You could watch alot of Comedies and stuff, and learn from them. Dont copy!

Thats all i got really!

 

[Daveman]

You need to hang around other people that are witty and hope it rubs off. Otherwise it's just down to good old fashioned intelligence.

 

[SnipErlite]

To be honest I think upbringing helps a lot. I do consider myself to be reasonably witty, but that's because both my parents are good at quick comebacks and ever so sarcastic sometimes - I just learnt to be witty I suppose.

 

[SuccessAndBiscuts]

What is with the tirade of "Be British" comments all of a sudden?

I know we can be funny but that's because there isn't much else to do on this island, and world domination is somewhat frowned upon these days...

After living here for nearly two years, rest assured that I will never ever recommend being British to anybody. I think it requires a certain amount of strength to be a Brit, and I certainly haven't got it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDQ1ljlnSjU&feature=related

"The indominable british spunk" is what you are searching for.

 

[Plinglebob]

I find the most important part of Wit is timing and for this you need speed of thought and also the intelligence and creativity to create comebacks. Have decent one-liners, either pre-planned or made up, is fine but if you arn't mentally quick enough to get the line in time, you'll just look like an idiot and if you keep using the same, pre-planned ones, you'll look like you're trying too hard.

Re: Can it be learned? I think it can, but it takes a long time (took me 5 years of school to learn and master it) and if you arn't quick, smart or creative you start with a major disadvantage.

 

[I_support_umbrellas]

Surround your self with idiots. You woun't be any wittier, but you'll feel it.