What should I do? (Girl Advice needed)

[Sacred_Flame]

Okay, so after waiting for a long time, I asked this girl out to our school's dance.

Now, I started talking to her for awhile now and we have a decent friendship. When I asked her, she told me she was honored, but she declined at the moment saying that she wants to wait for her friend's response. I felt like she was declining me and trying to be as nice as possible, but I saw her face and she seemed really interested (or at least surprised considering the way I did it was weird).

Now I have to wait until Friday for a response and I'm okay with that, but the real problems starts here.

She doesn't want to be in a relationship at the moment.I respect that and if she says no then I can try and get over it and look for someone else, but if she says yes, then I'll still have feelings towards her. I'm worried that I may go too far and ruin a good relationship.

I guess my question is:

What should I do?

(Yes, this is the first time I've ever asked someone out. I actually feel good about it besides the problem stated above.)

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Okay, so after waiting for a long time, I asked this girl out to our school's dance.

Now, I started talking to her for awhile now and we have a decent friendship. When I asked her, she told me she was honored, but she declined at the moment saying that she wants to wait for her friend's response. I felt like she was declining me and trying to be as nice as possible, but I saw her face and she seemed really interested (or at least surprised considering the way I did it was weird).

Now I have to wait until Friday for a response and I'm okay with that, but the real problems starts here.

She doesn't want to be in a relationship at the moment.I respect that and if she says no then I can try and get over it and look for someone else, but if she says yes, then I'll still have feelings towards her. I'm worried that I may go too far and ruin a good relationship.

I guess my question is:

What should I do?

(Yes, this is the first time I've ever asked someone out. I actually feel good about it besides the problem stated above.)

You don't really need to "do" anything.

Based on what you've told us, odds are 98% likely she is not interested in you romantically. If you still want to go to the dance with her in spite of this, as friends, wait for her response. In terms of romantic prospects, I would look elsewhere.

 

[Sacred_Flame]

After "sleeping" on the thought for 2 hours. I came to the conclusion that I should probably stop thinking of her romantically. It seems like my best option and, hey, maybe I can get her to like me during the remaining school year.

I guess I'll wait and see where the chips land for the time being.

 

[Sacred_Flame]

She sort of blew you off there mate, I would look elsewhere for romance, but if you wanna go as friends, by all means, have fun! Don't let this soil your friendship of anything.

Also, not sure if you want, but looking at your avatar, I have a gif of it if you want?

I'd say it fits the Escapist size requirements.

Ah man! Sure, I'll use the gif. Thanks!

On topic. Her blowing me off is a possibility. I finally came to the conclusion to not just act normally around her (which I've always have). I think it was way too early to ask her out since we don't really know each other that well or hang out very often. It probably came as something from out of the blue to her and is probably talking to her friend(s) about it. I'm not getting my hopes too up though.

I'll give you guys her answer when she decides.

 

[Vegosiux]

She sort of blew you off there mate, I would look elsewhere for romance, but if you wanna go as friends, by all means, have fun! Don't let this soil your friendship of anything.

Also, not sure if you want, but looking at your avatar, I have a gif of it if you want?

I'd say it fits the Escapist size requirements.

Ah man! Sure, I'll use the gif. Thanks!

On topic. Her blowing me off is a possibility. I finally came to the conclusion to not just act normally around her (which I've always have). I think it was way too early to ask her out since we don't really know each other that well or hang out very often. It probably came as something from out of the blue to her and is probably talking to her friend(s) about it. I'm not getting my hopes too up though.

I'll give you guys her answer when she decides.

Ehm, I'll just say one thing on this one.

That "right moment" we're all waiting for? Yeah, it never comes. Either that or we wouldn't know it if it walked up to us in the street, hit us with a sledgehammer and announced "I am that right moment, notice me".

It's appropriate whenever you feel it's appropriate (assuming you're not some kind of a creepy stalker and you don't strike me as one). So I'd not file this under you "not picking the right moment to ask." Don't overanalyze this, you made your move, whatever will happen will happen, just keep a clear head and keep doing your stuff, socializing with who you want and all.

 

[Sacred_Flame]

Sorry, I have a tendency to over analyze. Thanks for the advice. I'll just shut-up for now.

 

[NinjaSniperAssassin]

-snippity snip-

This is so true. Honestly, you'll wait for that right moment, it won't come, then all of a sudden you'll never see each other again. At this point you'll think back and realize "Holy smokes, I did have my perfect chance! How did I miss that?" Honestly. It's happened to me 3 times. The right moment is only apparent in hindsight.

 

[Lilani]

After "sleeping" on the thought for 2 hours. I came to the conclusion that I should probably stop thinking of her romantically. It seems like my best option and, hey, maybe I can get her to like me during the remaining school year.

I guess I'll wait and see where the chips land for the time being.

That's good I think...but don't trick yourself into thinking anything will come of it. You don't "get" someone to like you. Once they consider the possibility, they either do or they don't, and in my experience females are faster than men to pick up on this stuff. She's already thought it through, and the answer is no. Don't insult her intelligence by convincing yourself you know what she needs better than she does.

Ah man! Sure, I'll use the gif. Thanks!

On topic. Her blowing me off is a possibility. I finally came to the conclusion to not just act normally around her (which I've always have). I think it was way too early to ask her out since we don't really know each other that well or hang out very often. It probably came as something from out of the blue to her and is probably talking to her friend(s) about it. I'm not getting my hopes too up though.

I'll give you guys her answer when she decides.

But it really sounds like you are getting your hopes up, lol. Look, if you remain friends and her mind changes that's all well and good, but if something changes she will indicate it to you. In the meantime, cast your net someplace else. If she is romantically interested in you, any moment is the right moment. If she's not, no moment is the right moment.

 

[Sacred_Flame]

She said yes. I asked her if she wanted to go out to the movies next week and considered it.

 

[Sacred_Flame]

Last response/update to this thread.

I tried getting closer to her, but I failed. I'm always starting up conversations, it takes eons for her to respond and when she does the conversations aren't very stimulating and she doesn't seem too thrilled with me at all. I tried taking her out somewhere, but she always gave some excuse. I should've seen the signs, but I was blind with romantic thoughts to see that she isn't that into me. Honestly, I blame myself because I did the exact same stuff she's doing now when another girl tried to ask me out four years prior.

Have I given up on her, yes. We have a decent relationship and that's okay. I'll continue to chat every once in while, but I won't go out of my way like I have for the past month.

I thought the advice you guys gave was a bit cold, but now I see it was sound advice for an actual relationship. I was getting my hopes up for something that wasn't going to happen and now I'm tired of barking up the same tree for romance.

All I have to say is thanks for smacking some sense into me and have a great day.

 

[Spud of Doom]

Last response/update to this thread.

Hey man, great to see somebody at least make an attempt at follow-up. Don't get yourself down about it too much. You had some degree of success, she gave it a shot and wasn't really interested in pursuing it further. There are any number of reasons for that, but it doesn't sound like any of them indicate you were way off the mark.
I would suggest that you slow down with the "starting conversations" and make a conscious effort to spread your attention around more. You might find that while you've been fixated on this one girl you've lost sight of some other things (or people).

 

[Sacred_Flame]

Spud of Doom (awesome username btw),

I'm actually not that depressed. I thought I would be, but I think it's because I knew I was trying to take the relationship on a new level too quickly. I'll still say hi or start a friendly chat (rarely) in the hallways when we're heading to our next class, but she's one of the only people I can talk to in my only class with her (screwed up on seat positioning). Even then I don't talk to her very much.

I'm also branching out more so you don't have to worry about me.

 

[Spud of Doom]

Good to hear. I hope everything goes well. See you around.