Where would you build your evil fortress?

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Leemaster777

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You are now an evil would-be conqueror of the world. Where is your evil base of operations?

You can go with any time period, universe, or place you choose.

Present day? Or maybe the far future? Or past? Perhaps a nice, cozy spot on the moon? Or deep space? Or parallel dimension? How about something a bit more underground?

Me? I'm going with a James Bond-style volcano-doom fortress. Complete with henchmen in silver space suits, scantily-clad female ninja assassins, and my own personal formula for the worldwide destruction of corn.

And you?
 

theplagued

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Jun 7, 2012
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Aperture Innovators Motif, cannibalistic marshmallows (Exactly how it sounds) as henchmen in present day (of course). all in the process of bringing socialism to armadillos.

Makes sense? no. but my dream, it is.

~Theplagued
 

SckizoBoy

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A Hermit's Cave
theparsonski said:
pfff...(!)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to 'conquering the world... middle-England style!'

Do you intend to rule the world by screwing with Tesco's quality-control, or what?! XD

OT: I 'unno, Capitol Hill?
 

Dragonclaw

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Deep underground, Strategically underneath a children's hospital and a day care center where I will offer FREE care to ensure the beds are FULL! Human shields are good, shields that are children are even BETTER to discourage any "Let's bomb him" plots. Entertainment for these children and their parents will also subliminally turn them into VERY loyal subjects / future henchmen...a disposable army needs fresh blood.
 

Heronblade

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Well, if you're going to be that generous about possible locations. I'll take a pocket dimension of my own, present day time period. Access points between the PD and "normal" space can be opened or closed at any location, but only from within the PD.

I would also be the only one to use it as a residence/working area. Any non-undercover minions would simply be placed in one of several satellite bases, usually underground with a single very well hidden and fortified standard exit. Far less opportunity for incompetence or betrayal to bring me down that way. In the meantime if a satellite location is compromised, I can use the PD transport system to relocate all personnel and valuable equipment to another base within minutes.

My goal would be domination principally by social and economic pressure, initially brought to bear using informational warfare. Screw death threats using moon lasers and nuclear space missiles. As cool as they are, they destroy everything you might otherwise rule.
 

ace_of_something

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I'd pick a nice skyscraper in a major metropolitan area maybe have a school on one of the lower levels. That way 'blowing up his lair' never becomes an option for the would be heroes. Also my deadliest trap would be a chute that drops the do-gooders out into skid row with a sign glued to their skin that says 'i will give you drugs for sexual favors' and let hepatitis and tuberculous do the rest. Sure it might not kill him or it could take a while, but it's just legally grey enough I can't be touched.
 

Scarim Coral

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My would be hidden in plain site like a factories estate on the outside but evil lair on the inside.
I mean sure underground or on top of a volcano is cool and all but I fear mother nature more. I mean what happen if there was a earthquake or that so called dormant (or well control) volcano decided to wake up and go wild?
 

theparsonski

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SckizoBoy said:
theparsonski said:
pfff...(!)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to 'conquering the world... middle-England style!'

Do you intend to rule the world by screwing with Tesco's quality-control, or what?! XD

OT: I 'unno, Capitol Hill?
It would be in the Steam Railway Museum, and I would get some trains up and running and send them zipping around the countryside spraying Agent Orange out of all the windows. The best part is that no-one would suspect a thing 'cause it's just Swindon.
 

SckizoBoy

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A Hermit's Cave
theparsonski said:
It would be in the Steam Railway Museum, and I would get some trains up and running and send them zipping around the countryside spraying Agent Orange out of all the windows. The best part is that no-one would suspect a thing 'cause it's just Swindon.
?!?! You... sneaky bastard, you!

I personally would've gone for Norwich!
 

ClockworkPenguin

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Mar 29, 2012
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SckizoBoy said:
theparsonski said:
pfff...(!)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to 'conquering the world... middle-England style!'

Do you intend to rule the world by screwing with Tesco's quality-control, or what?! XD

OT: I 'unno, Capitol Hill?
No Mr. Boy, I expect you to buy.

Sorry, couldn't miss an opening like that.


Personally, I'd build it inside my Fortress of Good. Since apparently I'm rich/powerful enough to consider global domination, I'd set up a charity and buy PR agents until everyone thought I was a brilliant guy. Then, if I put my Global Domination HeadQuarters inside the charity HQ, no-one can attack it without killing civilians (not ordinary civilians, but charity workers to boot) and seeming like a dick.

Edit: curses, the ninjas have foiled my cunning plan!
 

theparsonski

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May 29, 2010
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SckizoBoy said:
theparsonski said:
It would be in the Steam Railway Museum, and I would get some trains up and running and send them zipping around the countryside spraying Agent Orange out of all the windows. The best part is that no-one would suspect a thing 'cause it's just Swindon.
?!?! You... sneaky bastard, you!

I personally would've gone for Norwich!
I actually live in Norwich, and you're right, the only evil thing to come out of that place is a moderate amount of racism and homophobia - and since I'm not a racially or sexually motivated villain no one would suspect a thing!
 

him over there

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"The cheat commandos will never find my secret desert hideout now that we've located to my nana's back yard!"
 

yeti585

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TephlonPrice said:
EA Corporate Offices.
/thread

OT: I would put my secret base under the pool in front of The Lincoln memorial. It's already under construction so they wouldn't notice me building much, and when they do there is waaaay to much foot traffic to take action.
 

shrekfan246

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May 26, 2011
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Leemaster777 said:
You are now an evil would-be conqueror of the world. Where is your evil base of operations?

You can go with any time period, universe, or place you choose.

Present day? Or maybe the far future? Or past? Perhaps a nice, cozy spot on the moon? Or deep space? Or parallel dimension? How about something a bit more underground?

Me? I'm going with a James Bond-style volcano-doom fortress. Complete with henchmen in silver space suits, scantily-clad female ninja assassins, and my own personal formula for the worldwide destruction of corn.

And you?
Wait, you mean you aren't an evil would-be conqueror of the world, and you don't have a secret evil base of operations hidden in the deserts of Nevada, that the government covers up for you with all of those silly reports about Area 51? Oh, I fear I've said too much...
 

Jolly Co-operator

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Mar 10, 2012
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I'll build an old-school evil castle . . . IN SPACE!

I will then proceed to drop it from orbit on to the world's most densely populated orphanage . . . for bunnies.