Which fan-pairings do you hate, and why?

[Battleaxx90]

First, I'd like to say a word or 353.

Since the dawn of civilization, Mankind has asked themselves many questions. Many of these are irrelevant to this thread; the one we're gonna focus on today is the question that could kinda-sorta-but-not-really be considered the greatest question of them all...

"Would those two make a cute couple, or what?"

Okay, that's nowhere near the top 100 questions Mankind has asked themselves, but you gotta admit, pretty much every fandom ever these days has their very own shipping department. That is not hyperbole. EVERY LAST DAMN FANDOM EVER has a shipping department. Also, the quality of these pairings can range anywhere between "I'm surprised it isn't canon" to the depressingly more common "HOW IN THE BLOODY HELL DOES THIS MAKE ONE IOTA OF SENSE!?"

Today, we're gonna talk/rant about the latter.

In this thread, I want you awesome, awesome people to talk about the pairings you've come across that you vehemently oppose, and why. Do you consider the characters in question to be generally incompatible? Are they enemies? Are they related? Would their pairing involve a sexual orientation that at least one member does not possess? Are one or more of these characters inanimate objects? Are both characters canonically paired with somebody else? Are they even alive? Feel free to elaborate.

For example: I'm a huge Kingdom Hearts fan, and I generally tend to scoff at any pairing that isn't Sora/Kairi or Roxas/Xion. I tend to puke internally whenever I see Sora paired with Riku; any homo moments between them in canon were a result of bad writing and NOTHING. ELSE. GOT IT!? I also hate it when I see Axel and Roxas as anything more than friends for similar reasons. One more thing: It is my honest opinion that Aqua, Ventus and Terra should never be paired with one another; they're all surrogate siblings, for crying out loud!

Oh yeah; I should probably tell you that this thread was inspired by a picture I saw on DeviantArt that paired Vanitas/Kairi, which is pretty much the KH equivalent of Hitler/Mother Teresa. Ugh, do not want.

So then, which fan-pairings do YOU hate, and why?

 

[Ldude893]

Sherlock Holmes/John Watson.

God damn it, JUST BECAUSE TWO MEN LIVE IN THE SAME APARTMENT AND ARE PARTNERS IN CRIME-SOLVING DOESN'T MEAN THEY HAVE TO BE HOMOSEXUALS.

 

[Zhukov]

I'm blissfully unaware of even a single "fan-pairing" in any IP.

I know what shipping is and I know that it exists, but I've never actually encountered it in action.

So, uh... feel free to tell me some of the crazier ones. I'm actually kind of curious now.

 

[White Lightning]

Sherlock Holmes/John Watson.

God damn it, JUST BECAUSE TWO MEN LIVE IN THE SAME APARTMENT AND ARE PARTNERS IN CRIME-SOLVING DOESN'T MEAN THEY HAVE TO BE HOMOSEXUALS.

Hmmm... reading that gave me a RAGING clue.



OT: I've honestly never heard of this "shipping" thing until now, and I must say it sounds quite silly.

 

[Abomination]

I hate every single fan-pairing and every single person who fan-pairs characters in media.

The former because they're always stupid and the latter because they're always (read: always) insufferable doucheburgers.

 

[Ultress]

I tend to be annoyed by Kanji/Naoto,or really any girl but Naoto is the most common.Mainly due to the fact that Kanji is gay. I don't mind it if you're just pairing for the sake of the hottness/crack factor(Trust me that's my main reason for Fuuka/every girl). However when it is serious shipping then no. Also Mitsuru/Yukari,it's not a bad pairing just a little too weak.Chie/Yukiko is done better.

As for non Persona parings,nothing really comes to mind except the Edgeworth/Phoenix pairing, for again lack of support.

NOw I sit and wait for the people who will flood me with "proof" of the above mentioned pairings.

 

[Vault101]

it kind of annoys me because its both self indulgent and doesn't respect the scource material

so no..I'm sure you'd love your femshep to get it on with Vega or Joker or (god forbid) Javik..but it aint gonna happen

[small/]except for femshep and ashley because it was originally intended...oh come on! don;t tell me you didn't hear a certain something when shepard would say "dissmissed..cheif"[/small]

 

[hazabaza1]

Nanako+P4 Protagonist
They're cousins for fuck's sake! Keep that creepy shit out of my weird... japanese...
alright, fair enough, but I'll still complain.

 

[ThisGuyLikesNoTacos]

Any kind of shipping where the characters don't really talk to each other in the source material.

"How does it work?" I think to myself...

 

[Nantucket_v1legacy]

Sherlock Holmes/John Watson.

God damn it, JUST BECAUSE TWO MEN LIVE IN THE SAME APARTMENT AND ARE PARTNERS IN CRIME-SOLVING DOESN'T MEAN THEY HAVE TO BE HOMOSEXUALS.

This. This. This!
I agree with you 100%. Sherlock Holmes was asexual if anything and had no time for such nonsense and Watson had a bloody wife. There is no sexual chemistry there!

Hmmm... reading that gave me a RAGING clue.



OT: I've honestly never heard of this "shipping" thing until now, and I must say it sounds quite silly.

Urgh that is another thing I hate.
Why would you pair Frank & Joe Hardy? It has been done and I don't understand why.

I'm a cheap bugger and I like to read Hardy Boys fanfiction because some are genuinely written really well. But then some evil people have to put them together and leave a bad taste lingering in my mouth. I don't mind people pairing Frank Hardy & Nancy Drew because that makes some sense but leave the brothers alone.

Onto a pairing I never got:

Spoiler

I know it happened in the show later on but it shouldn't have. There was sexual chemistry there at the beginning but neither of them went there. they were partners and it was strictly professional so why mix their already complicated life with a complicated romance?

Fox Mulder & Dana Scully - I never got it and I wish the fans had not persisted.

 

[Genocidicles]

I dislike all the non-canon pairings. It's not going to happen, so shut the hell up about it.

 

[Ragsnstitches]

I'm blissfully unaware of even a single "fan-pairing" in any IP.

I know what shipping is and I know that it exists, but I've never actually encountered it in action.

So, uh... feel free to tell me some of the crazier ones. I'm actually kind of curious now.

Some of the shit gets so bizarre it's hard to tell whether they are being deliberately off the wall or being sincere. You can go from pretty innocent ones that, while flagrantly disregarding the source, could happen if the conditions were right... and others that are just outright bizarre.

I can't give a specific example of bizarre, but it would be something like Harry Potter and Spiderman... and not Peter Parker, but the Alter Ego spiderman with no reference to the character of Peter Parker at all. It can get that strange.

Some of the funnier ones would be things Like Legolas and Gimli from Lord of the Rings. Frodo and Sam is too obvious but when I considered the Prissy Elf and the Gruff Dwarf bumping uglies I died a little inside.

But listen to me, this rabbit hole runs deep and it's a dark and scary place the further down you go. I have no personal interest in Shipping but some of the funny stuff drew me in... the rest just scarred me.

 

[Ragsnstitches]

it kind of annoys me because its both self indulgent and doesn't respect the scource material

so no..I'm sure you'd love your femshep to get it on with Vega or Joker or (god forbid) Javik..but it aint gonna happen

[small/]except for femshep and ashley because it was originally intended...oh come on! don;t tell me you didn't hear a certain something when shepard would say "dissmissed..cheif"[/small]

I honestly misread that and thought you mean Vega and Joker. That would be some brutal threesome

I don't know Vault, there was some serious sexual tension between me and Javik and I was playing a Male Shep. It couldn't have escaped you that of all the characters Javik talks about, your the only one he doesn't refer to by species (the "Asari" T'soni, the "Krogan" Wrex etc). Also, Being the last Prothean alive would be a remarkably lonely existence.

Oh god... I just threw up in my mouth.

 

[Ljs1121]

Any pairing of:

A. Characters who are from completely different shows/books/games/etc. and have never had any interaction with each other.

B. Characters who are directly related to each other.

C. An actual character and an OC.

 

[Hagi]

it kind of annoys me because its both self indulgent and doesn't respect the scource material

so no..I'm sure you'd love your femshep to get it on with Vega or Joker or (god forbid) Javik..but it aint gonna happen

[small/]except for femshep and ashley because it was originally intended...oh come on! don;t tell me you didn't hear a certain something when shepard would say "dissmissed..cheif"[/small]

I honestly misread that and thought you mean Vega and Joker. That would be some brutal threesome

I don't know Vault, there was some serious sexual tension between me and Javik and I was playing a Male Shep. It couldn't have escaped you that of all the characters Javik talks about, your the only one he doesn't refer to by species (the "Asari" T'soni, the "Krogan" Wrex etc). Also, Being the last Prothean alive would be a remarkably lonely existence.

Oh god... I just threw up in my mouth.

Considering Joker's 'thing' with EDI it'd probably be a foursome and all the more brutal for it. Considering this is the internet and hardcore Bioware fans are certifiably insane there's probably already a fan-fiction of it.

OT: There's very few I'm aware of, like MaleShep and Garrus, but mostly I don't know any and I don't want to know.

As far as I'm concerned canon is what it is. If there aren't any romances, freaky love triangles or who knows what else then maybe, just maybe, the story wasn't intended as such. I can appreciate a good romance (less so on the freaky love triangles and even less on the 'who knows what else') but not absolutely everything has to be one, tacking a random romance onto an otherwise good and interesting story doesn't make it any better. It's entirely possible to have an interesting tale that doesn't involve romantic dramatics...

 

[solemnwar]

I only hate fan pairings when the fans insist that the ship is canon, when it is not.

No. Both those characters are firmly heterosexual and one of them is even implied to be a homophobe, they are not gay for each other, I don't care if you write it, stop insisting though that it's canon. It's not.

It's almost always male/male shippers, too, I never see the insistence that a non-canon pairing is canon in male/female or female/female fan pairings.

 

[Souplex]

I have avoided all fanfiction, so I haven't been exposed to much actual shipping.

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

Nanako+P4 Protagonist
They're cousins for fuck's sake! Keep that creepy shit out of my weird... japanese...
alright, fair enough, but I'll still complain.

Cousin marriage is seen as normal and acceptable in many cultures worldwide and there is little increase in risk for genetic issues among first cousins. There is no reason to complain and there is nothing creepy about it.

I don't get the spongebob and Sandy pairings. I mean they don't have any chemistry that I can see :/

 

[Guffe]

I was wondering for a long time if one of my favorite Xbox characters and one of my favorite Nintendo characters ever could be matched together...

Spoiler: I got my answer!!!

 

[wottabout]

I have actually drawn fanart of ridiculous ships for an obscure webcomic, but that's because I talk to the author online and she thinks they're hilarious. Most of my pairings involved minor characters who never interact, some of which have no names because they only appeared in one scene, and some of whom are inanimate objects. I find crack ships hilarious. When watching my roommate play Mass Effect, we shipped her femShep with pretty much every character, including Joker, Grunt, and random shop owners.

I do get kind of creeped out by people who take shipping really seriously, though. I mean, there are some ships that I want to see become canon just because they would be really bold choices on the creators' part. (Homosexuality is seriously overrepresented in shipping, but it's severely underrepresented in media. It would be interesting to see a homosexual couple as main characters in a mainstream series, as long as the characters' established sexualities/personalities are not discarded in the process.) But then there are people who are seriously into seeing Twilight Sparkle and Rarity make out, and that's just... odd. I don't hate any particular pairings or shippers, but... it can get creepy.