Which Media Evil Relic would Cause you to "Nope!" out the fastest?

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Sep 24, 2008
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Something about me, I'm a man who likes defined evil. Humans are grey. No one purely light side, no one purely dark. So I tend to be fascinated with Monsters, Aliens, and Demons as my villains in media.

After consuming as much Media as I have for these few decades, that made me think about how much these plots rely on relics or other plot devices to herald the end times. So, that brings up this "thought" exercise.

You've joined a search party for some missing teens who have been in the woods for three days without any contact. You're set off to the far end of the woods when your partner twists his ankle. You radio for help and it soon comes. But you're sure you heard a cry off in the distance. Once help comes, you leave him in their care and you walk off in the distance towards the cry

You end up finding one of the missing teens. But there's nothing but a crazed madness behind his eyes. You look behind him, and you see a relic of obvious beyond human comprehension power. And whatever it is, it's already been activated by him.

So which Relic from Media would you most be frightened to see?

I put some thought into it. I used to love Hellraiser when I was a kid, so I instantly thought of the Lament Configuration [http://hellraiser.wikia.com/wiki/Lament_Configuration]. Then I thought of the Beherit [http://berserk.wikia.com/wiki/Beherit]. Hell, I even thought of various Viruses [http://residentevil.wikia.com/wiki/Virus] from the Resident Evil series.

But in the end. There was only one clear winner.

The Markers From Dead Space [http://deadspace.wikia.com/wiki/Markers].

There are few things in fiction that has ever seemed so completely Life-Fucking than the Markers. Either you're weak willed enough that you'll go completely insane and go kill others or yourself in a second. Or you might be intelligent enough that you will be possessed to go create more markers to spread the contagion.

But it's not just the fact that no mind is safe. You can reason with Cenobites. Offer up other souls in your stead and be spared hell. People still live in a time frame of a Beherit, and Bargains have been known to be made with Demons (to... mixed results).

There's no reasoning with Necromorphs. There's no fear. No stamina. No thought other than killing you. Add to that is the fact that we simply don't have the kind of weaponry that the average person could pick up and attempt to take a Necromorph down.

The discovery of a Marker would make me want to Nope out of the situation harder than anything I could think of. What about you?
 
Sep 24, 2008
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Discovering The Ratatosk Express would immediately be followed with yours truly jumping into a volcano

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Kyrian007

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There's a religion who's major prophet drank from a cup, and later that cup caught some of his blood. Supposedly drinking from this unholy cup curses the victim with immortality. Which of course is the worst curse anything could possibly inflict as it increases to 100% the chances that someone suffers the eternal torment of being trapped forever. I'd avoid anything like that (that actually existed in something other than a fairy tale.)
 

Neurotic Void Melody

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Ooh, a thread of interest, at last!

Well, the Dead Space marker was pretty much going to be my answer to be honest. It ticks a lot of the right boxes that I'd consider quite an unpleasant time.

If there's any artifact can create a large enough black hole to swallow the Earth and/or fuck up the solar system, that too would be a bit of nopey-nope device. There's something about the thought of being on the disintegrating Earth as it gets helplessly, violently consumed by a singularity while everyone around you, screaming in confused horror, is pulled to the same point and all there is is insane chaos and empty space. It would be quicker in a way, but no less terrifying; the awe of a complete annihilation beyond any hope of escape, hope for even something to be left behind, let alone what the feel of a gravity that strong would do to you. The red matter from Star Trek doesn't quite do it, for it appears too stable and they got it under control enough to not worry much
 

Dr.Susse

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If I saw Evil Dead esque Necronomicon in the flesh... I'd would definitely run away very quickly.

Evil objects that just lie silently, like books, always fill me with a "Don't fucking touch it!" feeling.
 

Bobular

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Xsjadoblayde said:
Ooh, a thread of interest, at last!

Well, the Dead Space marker was pretty much going to be my answer to be honest. It ticks a lot of the right boxes that I'd consider quite an unpleasant time.

If there's any artifact can create a large enough black hole to swallow the Earth and/or fuck up the solar system, that too would be a bit of nopey-nope device. There's something about the thought of being on the disintegrating Earth as it gets helplessly, violently consumed by a singularity while everyone around you, screaming in confused horror, is pulled to the same point and all there is is insane chaos and empty space. It would be quicker in a way, but no less terrifying; the awe of a complete annihilation beyond any hope of escape, hope for even something to be left behind, let alone what the feel of a gravity that strong would do to you. The red matter from Star Trek doesn't quite do it, for it appears too stable and they got it under control enough to not worry much
But black holes make you go through spaghettification and that's just a funny word, takes all the menace out of it.

My answer
Any of the type of artefacts that drive people mad just from being near it, The Marker (Dead Space), The Artefact (The White Chamber), any Chaos item (40k).
 

Aerosteam

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A marker is pretty much the best answer, like, they're so damn OP. Honestly I'd have said something like a Xenomorph egg but actually I'd try to destroy it, since running away won't solve the problem. Perhaps a portal to Hell. I'm staying the fuck away from those.
 

jademunky

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The Behlit from Berserk comes to mind.

Anything with the eight-pointed-star from Warhammer.

Any colourful vial with an Umbrella Corp. Logo on it.

For a more lighthearted example: best keep your distance from any Pipe-Organs with the name B.S. Johnson carved into it.
 

CaitSeith

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Err... all of them? I'm no expert of the occult, paranormal investigator, exorcist, archmage or Ghostbuster. So why the heck I wouldn't nope in the same degree at any activated evil relic?
 
Sep 24, 2008
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CaitSeith said:
Err... all of them? I'm no expert of the occult, paranormal investigator, exorcist, archmage or Ghostbuster. So why the heck I wouldn't nope in the same degree at any activated evil relic?
Well, they aren't all created equally.

would it be my very best fun times fighting them off? Hell no. But Average humans survive in Resident Evil zombie outbreaks. It's not everything I would want to do with my life. And yeah, I'd probably die. But there would be a fighting chance.

Things like the painting of Vigo the Carpathian need so many factors for them to work. Vigo needed the river of slime that, if I remember correctly, he didn't generate. Also, he needed a new baby to house his spirit. Some relics have so many steps that you probably could just throw them in some concrete and be done with it. Jummaji comes to mind as well.

The Cenobites like I said can be reasoned with. Some monsters are driven off by faith or come complete with a predetermined Chosen One to fight. Again. Not assured.

But something like the Markers have no true counter. You'll either become Homicidal and/or Suicidal if you're too weak of mind, or you'll be driven mad to create more if you have high enough intelligence or willpower. We're all fucked just by being around it. Then the Necromorphs. Other then a vat of acid (which I can't carry around), I can't think of any effective tool to stop one here on earth.

Chainsaws sound good and all, but the Necromorphs are faster than humans, stronger, travel in packs, and do not fatigue. For everyone of us that they kill, their numbers can grow in any number of ways. For one that we manage to kill... what, some sort of satisfaction?

And something that's never been truly clear to me. Even if you're "killed" and turned into a Necromorph... are you actually dead? Or are you a slave to the Marker? The idea of being killed, turning into a slave to something, and to murder others so that eventually I can power a transformation that would probably still use my consciousness as fuel disturbs me to no end. That is Hell to me. That is straight up Hell.

Kill me at any time as long as I stay dead. But to keep me sentient for your own needs, beyond my control? The idea sends actual shivers down my spine just typing it out...
 

Addendum_Forthcoming

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It's an urban legend, so does this count? The historian in me would be intrigued, but I would still nope the fuck out of the Basano Vase. I'm not superstitious, but I was raised by a Filo mum so I'm still more superstitious than the average person.

According to legend the police buried it in an unknown location sealed in a padlocked lead box. Which, you know ... sounds dumb.

I'm willing to bet if it's real they put it in evidence and a less than scrupulous police officer pawned it and it's disappeared in some person's attic. The crazy awesome shit you find in people's storage is a historian's gold mine.
 

Squilookle

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ObsidianJones said:
You end up finding one of the missing teens. But there's nothing but a crazed madness behind his eyes. You look behind him, and you see a relic of obvious beyond human comprehension power. And whatever it is, it's already been activated by him.
I'd say a smartphone. With Pokemon GO installed.

Sounds about right.
 

Canadamus Prime

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I've only played the first Dead Space, but yeah I'm thinking the Markers would make me turn around and run the other way. Many of the other relics are fine as long as you leave them the fuck alone. Not so much with the Markers. They strike me as like an evil version of the Monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey, instead of turning you into a Starbaby they turn you into grotesque monstrosity.