Why did the user above steal from the cookie jar?

[SextusMaximus]

So we all know the awesome playground game, 'Who Stole the Cookie from the cookie jar?' - but in a bizzare and ridiculously intriguing series of events, [HEADING=3]SOMETHING ELSE[/HEADING] has been stolen from the cookie jar.

It is up to you to decide why the bastard obviously nice fellow above you has stolen from the cookie jar.

Rules are as follows:

Spoiler: Rules

*This is my first attempt at a forum game so if you have any critique to give me, please PM me!*

Simply, you have to write why the above person stole what they did from the cookie jar, then write what YOU stole from the cookie jar.

E.g.:
User 0 gives example of stolen object

User 1:
Stolen because of his hatred of mankind!

I stole some ketchup from the cookie jar!

User 2:
Stolen because of his devious obsession with red vegetables

I stole batman from the cookie jar!


etc, etc.

[HEADING=2]Now let us start![/HEADING]
I stole a kitten from the cookie jar!

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Because it kept asking for a cheeseburger

i stole a wallet

 

[Dr.Susse]

Because he needs to feed his family with money.

I stole a Beer from the cookie jar.

 

[SextusMaximus]

The beer was Carlsberg - cause they do the best beers in the world.

I stole a man's face from the cookie jar

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Because I ripped it off and put it there.

I stole a hammer

 

[SextusMaximus]

You didn't want anyone to touch 'this'

I stole a slightly agitated rubber duck

 

[Ytomyth]

Because of your duck fetish, duh.

I stole a pair of scissors from the jar.

 

[SextusMaximus]

Because you wanted to remove your friend's liver and donate to charity, you kind soul.

I stole a magical slice of bread.

 

[MammothBlade]

Because it cures baldness....

I stole a snake from the cookie jar.

 

[Dango]

To put it in my bed while I sleep...

I stole Ringo Starr from the cookie jar.

 

[MammothBlade]

To put him in your bed while you sleep.

I stole Yoshi from the cookie jar.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

$599 US Dollars, my savings >.<

 

[MammothBlade]

To pay for a new catfish.

I stole a microchip from the cookie jar.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

The man is after you now!

I stole Joesph Stalin from the cookie jar.

 

[Dango]

To stroke his mustache.

I stole the the cookie jar.

 

[Dr.Susse]

To have every one of its wacky items.

I stole the inside of the cookie jar.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Because He wanted to be arkward.

I stole a DVD Boxset of Battlestar Galalica (Fucking spellcheck...)

 

[Neko Pounce]

You stole it because you know no one should ever have to sit and watch that rubbish ^_^

I stole a pair of car ears

 

[SextusMaximus]

You stole it to look like ADORABLENESS.

I stole an obtuse turtle

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

For No RAISIN!

I stole Sxtus's DrumSticks