Why do we as humans desire companionship?

[Adzma]

I've seen many relationship related threads on these boards in my short time here and the other day it got me thinking. I'm 18 and have never been in a relationship and some of you may know that I'm quite bitter on the subject. Now the fact is that like any person I don't like the idea of living out my years alone, I want to someday find someone who as they say, completes me.

Anyway, I started wondering to myself why I have this desire, I mean for 18 years now I've done everything alone; I solve my own problems away from others in solitude. I find myself asking why I want companionship when I can manage myself as I am now, it can't simply be that age old argument of "It's in your nature to reproduce." I think about death and realise that when I die, I want to be by myself and not surrounded by family and friends. I want to be remembered as the person I lived as, not that person I died as. I want to die in solitude comforted by my own mind like a story coming full circle and tying the ending to the beginning. I suppose my point is that I don't know if I truely want a meaningful relationship with someone, or if it's simply the horny primate inside me wanting to make miniature versions of itself. I feel that if it was up to my mind alone, I wouldn't want a relationship with another person, but it's too hard to draw such a conclusion.

So my main question comes back to the thread's title. Why do you think we desire relationships with others?

 

[NeutralDrow]

Beats me. I just know that I'm one of the more introverted people you could meet...but I go stir crazy if left on my own too long.

Ultimately feels like sharing time with others makes your own self and interest feel more legitimate...

 

[Beatrix]

Because we all need a helping hand sometimes?

 

[Skullpanda]

Thinking. Literally.

When alone, we begin to think far too much for our own good. Things that we normally ignore start coming to the forefront, and will more than likely drive a person crazy through realization of their own hypocrisy on certain subjects, or aggravate them to no end when they cannot answer questions they have about themselves. Unconsciously, we realize this, and begin to use other people as a distraction from this very problem. We are always addicted to interaction, no matter if it is direct or indirect. Group mentality can even alter a person, hence why so many people go to bars to drink, although they continually head home alone. With the distraction of other people, we can ignore ourselves, and our problems, which is as much escapism as some people need.

Or...we just like people because we don't want to be the crazy pet person. -.-

 

[zidine100]

We are bored of ourself, and are just looking for someone to help pass the time.

or we need validation, and being in a relationship provides some sort of validation of our life.

These are just random bablings i came up with on the spot, so.....

 

[bikeninja]

I like having someone who I can tell anything, joke around with, have feelings for, fight with, and still fall asleep beside them at night.
It's weird, I used to only want a girlfriend for sex, but that changed when I met my current girlfriend. After 4 years It's hard to live without her, she is another part of me.
/cheesy love.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Because of Dom's AI.

 

[Ocelot GT]

Because we're social creatures with highly developed methods of communication and expression.

And it feels good to be loved :3

Prrrrrrrrrr

 

[FalloutJack]

I believe Robinson Crusoe could shed some light on the subject. Failing that, Tom Hanks.

 

[Adzma]

Because of Dom's AI.

Damn that put a smile on my face. Who would've thought four words could be so funny? Well played sir, well played.

 

[traceur_]

Humans are social animals, we instinctively seek out the company of others.

There you go.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Because of Dom's AI.

Damn that put a smile on my face. Who would've thought four words could be so funny? Well played sir, well played.

Thanks... It's funny because it's true... Gears 2 on insane was like trying to run a marathon with a malfunctioning prosthetic leg.

Though at least a prosthetic leg wouldn't keep whining about its stupid wife...

 

[TOGSolid]

I'm 26 and am happily single. Most humans are shallow, vacuous beings that desperately cling to relationships in order to help provide some sort of depth to their pathetic existences. Personally, I don't see how being in a relationship could make me any happier.

We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.

 

[Puzzles]

Inbuilt biological desires to reproduce influencing needs to find a partner? That seems most logical to me.

 

[Monshroud]

Well there are a lot of reasons.

First, being in isolation for too long causes you to sue Sony, Microsoft, Blizzard and every other company and makes you look like a ass to a large population of people...

In all honesty though, the mind can find ways to cope with not having social interaction but having friends and family that you communicate and interact with is much better stimulation and keeps you mentally healthy. Now I know the first argument that 'the loners' put up is that they are perfectly happy being on their own. More times then not though, that points to a problem with 'the loner.' Maybe they don't have the social skills to properly interact and form relationships, other times there are cases of abuse or neglect which prevent certain bonds from forming.

As someone else pointed out, humans are for the most part pack animals. There is safety and power in numbers, and people tend to have an innate need to have a 'pack'. That doesn't mean you have 100 friends. Heck it could be 2 or 3, but it's still a pack.

There is of course the desire/need to reproduce. I am not going to go into detail regarding this because we have to get into human evolution, monogamy, polygamy, and I just don't want to type that long.

The other thing that I am sure you don't want to hear is that you are 18, and really don't have perspective on things yet. When I was 18 I thought I had it all figured out, but by the time I was 21 I realized that 3 years ago I didn't know anything, but by then I had a good grip on things. Then when I was 25 I realized how big of an idiot I was at 21, and now being in my 30's I have come to realize that you never really stop learning. Sure you fall into comfortable patterns, but if you always keep an open mind and heart, you'd be surprised in how much you continue to grow over time.

Don't sweat not being in a relationship. My girlfriend didn't go on her first date until she was almost 20, and she is completely awesome and I have no idea how the hell that happened. If you are comfortable being out and about on your own, then by all means enjoy it, just don't shy away or shun possible relationships because you don't think you need them.

 

[Aesir23]

Because we're social creatures with highly developed methods of communication and expression.

And it feels good to be loved :3

Prrrrrrrrrr

This.

Seriously though, humans really are very social creatures. We spend the majority of our lives around other people even if we don't know them personally. So it's natural to desire companionship.

That and not having any companionship of any type whatsoever is really f-ing lonely. -_-

 

[Seanchaidh]

Why do you think we desire relationships with others?

We want certain things in part because our brain is constructed to want them. It is constructed to want them because wanting those certain things is what helped people in the past make more people instead of just sitting around and dying off.

it can't simply be that age old argument of "It's in your nature to reproduce."

It may not be (I don't know you) but it is in your nature to want companionship, and the cause of that being in your nature is that it makes a person more likely to reproduce and have offspring that keep reproducing.