Women, and their attraction to jerks.

[TheLefty]

DISCLAIMER: This doesn't apply to all girls, but a lot of the ones I know. Also, I'm in high school. So my pool is a bit shallow, but I hear similar stories from my mother about a few of her friends.

So, I just read the facebook status of a woman scorned, stating how much she hates this guy and blah blah because he hurt her. This status ended with "Guy are all the same." Correction. Guys girls like are all the same.

The point of this topic is to try and understand why girls seem to be attracted to the "bad boys" and then blame the guy when they hurt them. I like to think I'm a nice guy, a bit of a nerd though, but then these jerks (guys you can tell are jerks just by looking at them) are the ones who get the girls, often to fulfill their jerkish appearance by, well, being a jerk. Now, being a high school student, I hear many stories. In the last year alone I've heard this similar story 4 times (only counting first person stories), from different girls, 2 of which I had liked at the time. I've heard stories of cheating, stories of arguments, these guys using them for sex, just about the only thing (thank god) is physical abuse.

So I ask you, the wonderful women of the Escapist, why? Why are you (or your friends) so attracted to these guys, when are so many more good guys out there who won't hurt you (or your friends). Someone please help my understand this.

 

[RUINER ACTUAL]

Blows my mind. I don't get it.

 

[BlumiereBleck]

Actually most girls are not attracted to bad guys. It is a common stereotype towards girls at age 14-15 who are so desperate they will go out with anyone.

 

[AllLagNoFrag]

Because the nice guys (or the ones I know that are good people) are mostly classed as "losers" and are extremely shy around girls. If more of the "nice guys" start to get used to the presence of girls, then the guys that you call "jerks" will start to lose their appeal.

 

[wolfister]

It is a mystery to myself and most every other nice guy out there. Also have you noticed if you are a nice guy you tend to always end up in the "I think of you as just a good friend" pool?

 

[Lizmichi]

I don't know...... I wish I did so I could make it stop. Also REALLY hard to explain why us girls like bad boys.

 

[Cody211282]

As wise man one told me

"Girls like it when your nice to them, but they also like it when your a bit of a dick, so mix it up a little."


cookie for whoever gets it.

 

[wolfister]

I think it's because the assholes are the ones who actually have the balls to ask these chicks out in the first place. Think about it.

Not enough "nice guys" like you ask her out, because you don't have the self confidence (not you personally, I don't know you, I'm just talking about guys like you, the "nice guys"), so she ends up going out with a douchebag, because she doesn't have that much of a choice. Sure, plenty of guys might be salivating over her, but a lot of them might never ask her out, because they think that they're out of her league, whereas the asshole doesn't think that anyone is out of his league, and therefore he goes for it.

At least that's my theory on the subject. The "nice guys" have no balls, and don't take rejection well, so they just don't ask as often as the assholes, and therefore don't have as many opportunities to get the girl.

While that is true there is also the case when a nice guy ask a girl they know out they tend to get the "just friends" thing.

 

[sharkinz]

There's actually a psychology theory that deals with this, its called Great White Shark. It basically states that girls in high-school and early in college are attracted to "bad boys" (aka jerks) as a kind of chess move against their fathers. The "bad boy" is tough, and rugged and is supposed to be a counter-balance to the father and a girls subconscious way of telling her father that he can't mess with her anymore because the tough "bad boy" will mess him up. At least that is one psychological explanation for it, i am not saying that this is correct its just a thought on the subject.

 

[Zackary Yakumo]

It pisses me the f*** off! I have six housemates (three other males and two femalse) and one of them that i like is a nice girl, but loves a womanizer!

 

[super_smash_jesus]

asshole is one thing, arrogence and confidence is another. I believe it is the latter 2 that draws women, at least it has worked for me. Portray confidence, be arrogent to a point where it is more humorous than nauseating, and you will do fine. Then you won't have to complain to the internet why you suck with women, and all people that have gf's are assholes.

 

[A Playful Shark]

I'm the "nice guy" without being a loser.
My girlfriend loves it.
You just have to find the right person.

 

[Dwalin]

As wise man one told me

"Girls like it when your nice to them, but they also like it when your a bit of a dick, so mix it up a little."


cookie for whoever gets it.

Red Vs Blue... Am i correct? (just a vague memory i have of Tucker)

 

[Deadman Walkin]

Not so much at my school. Sure there are the girls who go for the tough guys but well, that isn't really what I go for. I lift weights and I have some muscle, and I like to think of myself as a nice guy and recently girls have really been trying to get with me. I love my girlfriend very much and it is funny that I used to be the guy no one wanted.

 

[Meggiepants]

Let me just say this, once a girl has a bad boy, she tends to change her mind about them. Unless she is in to that kind of thing.

Being in my 30s, I'd say a majority of the women I know actually dislike the jerk type man. Of course, we're all mostly with a guy long term by this point, whereas the jerks, the men you talk about, are still single, and probably will be until they straighten up.

 

[Eisenfaust]

constant inner struggle for acceptance and justification? the last bad boy hurt them and they just NEED to resolve the resulting insecurities?

who knows...

 

[TheLefty]

asshole is one thing, arrogence and confidence is another. I believe it is the latter 2 that draws women, at least it has worked for me. Portray confidence, be arrogent to a point where it is more humorous than nauseating, and you will do fine. Then you won't have to complain to the internet why you suck with women, and all people that have gf's are assholes.

I actually tried this towards the end of freshman year...it attracted some...interesting people.

 

[UberCharlie]

Girls are attracted to athletic, assertive, confident guys. Those guys can sure seem like assholes who don't deserve all that attention. I'm not defending anybody who mistreats women. Those guys are inexcusable.

But who would you rather date? The hot & confident chick, or the creepy girl who stares at you and smells like funky milk?