Yes, Another thread about a girl.

[fishman279]

I know everyone must be bored of these by now, but I'm so confused I have no idea who to turn to.

Basically, there's this girl, she's in my class and I met her about 3 months ago. Long story short, I developed feelings for her, and everyone who saw us together thought we were dating, because we were so close, she would let me stroke her thigh, she would rest her head on my shoulder, she asked me round her house to meet her parents... I was so sure that she liked me too. I asked her out, and at first she said that she saw me as a friend. I was gutted, but I would've been fine with that, I would have moved on. But afterwards she starts telling me that she had these "moments" with me where she thought to herself that we should go out and how she's never been this close to a boy in her life. Then she starts giving me other reasons, like how she doesn't want to grow up yet and that she hates change.... Things like that. That was 2 days ago.

We sat down for two hours just now, talking about it all, because we have been stuck in a vicious circle of sadness ever since (She feels guilty, so she's sad, so I'm sad that I've made her sad, which makes her guilty...) where she admits to me that she's "on the fence", leaning towards friendship but she admits that there's something between us and that she envisages something to happen between us "some day". Then without warning she got quite upset (read: crying her eyes out) after a while about not wanting anything to change (as in, her life, leaving home etc), so I calm her down, as usual. She left me tonight with a distraught look on her face, kissing me on the cheek and saying "I'm so confused."

So basically I have no idea what to do, I thought I'd been friendzoned but... Now I just feel that even SHE doesn't know what she wants. I don't know... Any help at all would be appreciated because I am just so confused about it all. Thanks.

 

[Valeticar]

Hi mate. I've been in a relationship like that before. Umm.. What I'd do is give her some space to think (don't alienate her) stay close friends. Don't do every little thing she asks like a good puppy dog, but don't be an arsehole either. Make sure she knows you'll be there for her when she needs you.
She'll come round if she's got feelings for ya too. If not don't worry, plenty more fish in't sea Good Luck!!

 

[Swyftstar]

This is just my opinion but it's obvious things can't stay the same because if they could you both would have agreed to do so, gone that route and you wouldn't be making this post. She's being indecisive and it's screwing with both of your emotions. You being a nice guy, while admirable, is not helping either of you feel better either. Honestly, every time I've ever been in that sort of a situation I just left. If she wants to follow you and start something then you are good to go. If not, after a period of mourning, you'll find somebody else and be happy. This misery limbo you are in is not healthy.