Your Experiences with noobs

[Brown Cap]

We've all been there: the new guy just happened to do some greenhorn-esque screw up, or asks you the stupidest questions. Anything from "How I Mine For Fish?" or the "noob tube" in call of duty.

So what are your most hilarious or braindead noobs you've met like?

 

[JUGGERNAUTBITCH]

going solo mid with a tank in LOL or DOTA...

 

[Leviathan_]

I really hate the word 'noob'. It sounds so damn elitist.

 

[Auxiliary]

I played WoW in the past, too many noobs to start mentioning.

 

[Winthrop]

I stuck a guy with armor lock in halo reach and he didn't turn it on. I have no problem with noobs though. I think that they just need to learn to play the game. Ive seen noobs become really good players eventually so I don't mind them.

 

[Angerwing]

I really hate the word 'noob'. It sounds so damn elitist.

Not really. It's not people who don't understand their stuff. It's people who don't understand their stuff and are too douchey and pig-headed to listen to constructive criticism. The noob and the newb are two very different beasts.

Also, inb4 the Ctrl+Alt+Del comic.

 

[Catchy Slogan]

I really hate the word 'noob'. It sounds so damn elitist.

Same here. I also hate the word noob tube. The weapon is there to be used. Get over it.

And just because someone is new to the game, and doesn't know all the details, doesn't automatically make them an idiot.

 

[El Poncho]

Was doing a dungeon with my friend on WoW- who is a warrior- he asked the paladin, the only one who could heal in the group, if he was going to heal then he said 'I'm going to tank, but you can heal'. /facepalm

 

[Valkyrie101]

Recently joined a game of Left 4 Dead 2 with two French retards who charged off ahead, and I mean far ahead, chattering and laughing loudly. I swear one or the other was alerting the horde about every 60 seconds, which is quite hard to do. I'm played plenty of games with unskilled players who don't fight very well, but the ones that annoy me are the idiots for whom restraint and caution are concepts that apply only to mere mortals.

It's great when I kill twice as many zombies as them, though.

 

[Nickolai77]

The thing about n00b tubes are that to me that they are not that easy to use as everyone makes them out to be. Even as a n00b, i barely ever used grenade launchers.

 

[Scarim Coral]

I remember one time in Guild Wars there was a mission to escort and protect these baby turtles. I know from past experience with my other characters the only way to complete it is to take out all of the ambush groups before you start to escort them. The group I was in have not done it before. Also it was made worse that the warrior is just a kid who had to go to bed very soon.
We started heading the ambush groups and the whiny kid keep asking how long it going to take. While I wanted to tell him that it would take an hour but I didn't want to be blamed for the warrior to leave.
Needless to say we fail a few times and the warrior left. The noob part is that the leader is convinced that we can escort while taking on the group (how it suppose to be but very hard). I try to tell them it's impossible and I was experiences at it (I even posted a link to the mission guide) but the leader is having none of it. So I pretty much left the party.

 

[BabyRaptor]

I play WoW, so there are way too many to share. But I'll share one of my classic noob moments that anyone whose played WoW will likely get.

Years ago, I think during BC, I was leveling a Paladin. I was healing a Sunken Temple run, and my exhusband was tanking it. Shit hit the fan, people started dying...So I tried to Divine Intervention myself so I could rez. And then I raged in utter confusion when I died.

 

[Midnight Crossroads]

There's nothing quite like running through a dungeon as a healer and having a tank making it painfully obvious through their actions that they bought their account.

 

[Jamboxdotcom]

I really hate the word 'noob'. It sounds so damn elitist.

Not really. It's not people who don't understand their stuff. It's people who don't understand their stuff and are too douchey and pig-headed to listen to constructive criticism. The noob and the newb are two very different beasts.

Exactly this. Some of my best gaming experiences have been with people who were legitimately new and trying to learn the ropes. Some of my worse gaming experiences were with people who had been playing forever and never bothered to learn how things work. There are almost too many examples to list, but one that always stuck in my craw in WoW was the people in Warsong Gulch who spend the whole game kill-farming in midfield rather than support the team.

Also, warriors in FFXI who were subbing white mage at level 60 when in a group... /shudder

 

[Dagnius]

I logged on to Runescape for the first time in at least 4 or 5 years the other day to check out the changes. Not 45 seconds of leaving the bank some level 7 trades me a bucket, Two bronze medium helmets, a burnt shrimp, and 10 coins. "What can i get 4 this?" IDK i just laughed so hard... It's more of a newb thing than a noob thing but I found it so facepalm-worthy.

 

[CCountZero]

I recall one time, about five years ago, playing SWAT 4 in online CoOp, with three Americans and someone from Asia.

Now, this Asian fella didn't speak or understand English, so while the three Yanks and myself were discussing how to handle the mission, the Asian fella was pretty much left out.

Upon starting the mission, we go ahead and head for the first closed door, which will get us into the building complex itself.

As we reach it, I whip out my peek-under-doors-magic-wand, and go ahead and peek.

I see a couple guys, and start telling the other fellas what is in there, when the Asian dude opens up the door, exposing me to a hail of gunfire, resulting in my immediate and brutal murder, as well as the remaining team being in a very bad way.

Now. Not only did he do this once, but five times (although not at the same door), with the same result.

After that, we just started each mission by blowing his head off. Stopped us from actually completing it properly, but at least we actually got to play the game.

 

[Lancer873]

I've met a guy who tried to claim that the XBox's version of The Orange Box was just as good as the PC's, as well as the XBox version of Portal 2. Even when we explained exactly why.

 

[Just_A_Glitch]

I prefer not to use the term noob. Its just never worked its way into my lexicon.

But I was playing someone in MvC3 just earlier today that obviously didn't know how to play at all. He picked Haggar, Hulk, Sentinel, and all he did was do jumping heavy attacks with all three characters. So I taught him not to do that. It was annoying though, since I play a fairly low health team and all three of those characters can take me out with two basic combos.

 

[CCountZero]

I really hate the word 'noob'. It sounds so damn elitist.

While I agree that some "elitist" can be a right bunch of mega-ego pricks, I also know that you can learn a lot from them if you find one who is nice, or can stick with the shit the holier-than-thou throws your way.

Elitism isn't bad. People with massive egos are.