Zombehpocalype...in a mall

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EleanorRoosevelt

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May 21, 2009
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Usually, a mall seems like the ideal place to be during teh zombehpocalypse. Food, weapons, etc. But eventually, the zombies will close in. And it'll be dark.

That's why I've been writing a guide to survive in said scenario. For one thing, always find a watch and a mall with ceiling windows. That way, when the zombies close in, you'll have enough light to blast (fry, burn, etc.) its head off. And if you manage to put in an ample barricade in your bathroom (see tip two) you'll have the watch to tell you what time it is, so it isn't nighttime when you peer outside of your base. Plus, the watch serves the double purpose of holding your sanity (ever not known what time it was for days? it's not fun).

The bathroom is, by my reasoning, one of the best places to put a main base. The mirrors can be shattered to make glass shards for weaponry, there's clean water (not in the bowls, the cistern-that big part in the back), and there's usually a supply closet filled with all sorts of useful things. There's flammable aerosal and drain cleaner, some mops and brooms you can use with the glass shards for makeshift spears, and trash cans. Always good for barricades, these trashcans. When choosing your bathroom, always find a women's bathroom. They have more toilets with water and are less likely to smell horrible. Also, find one that is close to said ceiling window, so there will be enough light.

When going outside, consult your watch so you know what time it is. Arm yourself, and gradually pull open the door. If you're the queasy type, you might just wanna sneak around. If you're willing to take down some zombies, go for the head. More specifically, the brain stem. Unless the zombie you're dealing with actually controls the body and not just the brain, the brain stem is the best place to take out, as it controls all movement of the body. When you scavenge, stick to the walls. That way, one of your sides is protected. Never scream. You'll just attract more zombies. If you're actually attacked, run for your base if you have the chance. Fighting is generally not a good idea, as it'll usually attract more zombies. If you must, make jabbing strikes with the makeshift spear or just shoot them if you're lucky enough to have a gun and enough ammo. Remember to brace for the recoil when shooting. It's generally a good idea to run home immediately after the zombies is taken out if you're using a gun; the loud noise will attract more.

Unfortunately, that's as far as I have gotten. I'm open to suggestions/criticism.
 

Klagermeister

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Jun 13, 2008
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fluffybacon said:
Why the fuck are you people so obsessed with zombies?

Don't you have something better to do?
Zombies are no laughing matter. They can and eventually will take over mankind either near or to the point of extinction.
Better safe than sorry. If the zombie apocalypse comes, I will be prepared.
So should you. Buy a machete, stock up on non-perishable rations, etc. At least you'll feel safer.
 

L3m0n_L1m3

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Jul 27, 2009
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SerpentofSet said:
The bathroom is, by my reasoning, one of the best places to put a main base.
Sorry, but Zombieland taught me otherwise.

OT: I would probably just go to some isolate island.... Or alaska.
 

ReinofFire

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Jun 30, 2009
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Use the buddy system. As long as your "buddy" is not a zombie.

Also unless the mall you stay in has a gun shop you won't really last very long anyway. If it just has a sword shop (like the one nearest me, crap) then THATS NOT GOOD ENOUGH! Swords or knives will not last long especially against a creature that does not care about pain or dismemberment and usually comes in swarms. (sorry didnt see the 'if your lucky enough to have a gun' but this is a really good thing to have.)

How long would someone actually last in the mall though. Through a technical standpoint if anyone is able to last a long time against a zombie apocalypse they would run out of food or the food would go bad (yes, that happens).

But other than these comments I thought your plan was really good. Until you said the back of the toilet, couldn't you use the sink? Does the water system stop in the sinks for a zombie apocalypse but not in the toilets?
 

EleanorRoosevelt

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May 21, 2009
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Well, if you don't flush a toilet, there's still water in the cistern, right? The water there doesn't depend on the water system.

@fluffybacon:

http://www.corante.com/loom/archives/2006/01/17/the_return_of_the_puppet_masters.php
http://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&lr=&q=cache:QnW_nqrtP2YJ:www3.district125.k12.il.us/chemmatt/87/87_10_t/871004t.pdf+Zombie+Powder
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000788.htm
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6VKN-4GK1DST-7&_user=10&_coverDate=08%2F31%2F2005&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=10e57bbd002805551700b598b9811763
http://www.changesurfer.com/Hlth/FutDeath/FutDeath.pdf