Recent content by ThatNewKid

The shittiest Zelda game is nowhere near bad. Zelda is like pizza: at it's worst, it's still pretty damn good.

Okay, first off, who taught you English, Al-Jazeera newscasters? And second off you do realize multiplayer was a huuuuuuuge part of first-person shooters from the start? Oh, the days of my school library having to set a rule specifically against LAN Doom parties, and the TEN Network in...

Even the multiplayer isn't that good. It feels like the wildly disappointing and exceptionally...unexceptional Medal of Honor, except this time big buildings go boom-boom and you can drive shit--like in older Battlefield games. There is literally no reason you should enjoy this game.

Hey! Quake III was not a load of old wank. One of the most skilled-based multiplayer first-person shooters to date, one of those "If you want to enjoy this game you will not enjoy any other game for quite a fucking while" games.

By God, does the Escapist have hipsters. Resistance 3 is not a rip-off of Half-Life 2 and you should stop copying down everything Yahtzee says into your personal Bible as the undeniable truth. Have you played the game? The kin-aesthetics of the game are much different: the game feels...

Dear Game Developers, This "open-world zombie game" thing is getting old. Almost as creaky and senile as the "modern military shooter." Unless you want to boast your game's status as Bottom of the Bargain Bin in 2 years, try using your fucking cortex to figure out a new premise. Love...

2 of these fuckers. I'LL NEVER BE LATE AGAIN

If you're putting "Ms." in your username or whatever, it's cool. I can understand a male putting "MrManoftheYear" or something like that. But it's not cool if you're going out like, "Oh, hahaha! You males are so sexist!!! Us females deserve the same rights like you!!! Gosh!!!". Also 4chan has...

The term on 4chan's /v/ is called "gurl gamur" and is classified as the worst gamer ever. On the Faggotry vs. Skill chart, the "gurl gamur" is placed on the highest faggotry with the lowest skill. Girls that play video games should act just like guys that play video games. The only reason she...

My physical body sometimes reacts whenever I'm having an overly effectual experience, whether negative or positive. For example, I vomited for the first time in years when I played the Dragon Age II demo, and I was extremely energetic despite 4 hours of sleep every night for a week when Deus Ex...