When I say that heroes are make-believe, I am talking about what makes someone a hero. Soldiers are regular people who sometimes are put in a position to do something extraordinary. Heroes are not people, heroes are stories. This point is perfectly illustrated by the very next thing you write. When Americans hero-worship the military, they aren't "worshiping" the men and women who do these things, they are "worshiping" the narrative itself, they are "worshiping" an idealized illustration, not any person. I know precisely what Zhukov was on about, which is why I made my comment. If America cared so dearly about the people and not the stories, soldiers wouldn't have to fight tooth and nail for their VA benefits. The heroes themselves are forgotten in body, many trying to scrape a life together after the service, while the tales of their deeds outlive their misery. And soldiers either know this inevitability or discover it with some experience. Service is sacrifice.
The whole reason people get pissed when you question what the military is forced to do is not because those people care about the soldiers, it's because they care about you ruining the narrative. Heroism is a tale, not a person and not even an action. Believe me, or don't, when I tell you there is nothing at all heroic about shooting other people, or about dragging around your injured buddies while under fire, or about blowing up a convoy with explosives strapped to your body. Being a hero is just about being in the right place at the right time, doing what you feel you have to do and hoping you and everyone else doesn't get killed in the process, then having those tales blown up large for an audience that wants to feel patriotic. I do not condemn people for liking heroic stories, it's natural, even helpful but I do caution about conflating the stories with the men and women who serve as their core. Heroes are myths, people are messy and soldiers are just doing a really difficult job.