10 ways to go Gonzo.

[hypothetical fact]

You've seen those posters with their 1000+ post counts and you want to join that elite club but how? You don't really have a thousand things to say but with this guide you can hit 1000 posts without saying anything.

1. Reply to every thread, you may not have an opinion but as long as you give a sentence saying that you are for or against the thread you will score your post +1.
E.G I am against rights for homosexuals because it is unnatural.

2. Post half your point; scoring post count +1's is for people without an opinion but when you have one remember to stretch it out. Breaking up your post into halves and quarters will garner double the results so feel free to make a post but before you post it, preview the post then use every sentence as a new post.
E.G I saw Quantam of Solace the other day but I didn't like it. Post +1
The movie seemed to be focused towards action but skipped on story. Post +1
I would like to see Bond use gadgets again. Post +1
What is a Quantum of solace anyway? Post +1

3. Post ignorant sweeping statements, when someone corrects you just apologise for another post +1.
Old people should get back to work and stop complaining, they are so useless. Post +1
They have done their service to society and deserve their retirement. Besides, as they age they will become less reliable at their job and it will affect their perfomance when they serve you.
Hmm, I guess you're right sorry for not thinking. Post +1

4. Reply to everyone, self explanatory and you can gain +10 posts per minute; however, other posters may realise that you just want a larger post count. Though if they don't and reply to your inane comments you can emply the previous three points to gain over 100 posts in one day.

5. Tell the OP to use the search button; this is a free post +1 and even if they are posting a new topic you can ready point 3.

6. Make personal threads that no one needs to hear then add "Discuss" at the bottom and employ point 4 for maximum results.
E.G My girlfriend says that we need to do more stuff together but I took her to a monster truck rally just last month! Discuss.

7. Find a thread with multiple pages of replies then steal a reply from the first page, change it into your own words and post it as your own. As long as you only do this once or twice per thread you won't get caught.

8. Correct someone's grammer but don't reply to the actual topic.

9. Appeal to other posters ego's. Just post a bunch of hreads asking other posters what is their favourite style of hair, shoes, carpet, rusty nails etc. As long as you get them talking you can occasionaly chirp in agreeing with their taste for free post +1's.

10. Never give in. Similar to point 3 only you don't apologise, instead you take a generally criticised opinion that others have made and use that as your own; odds are the replies that you will face have been faced by others that actually believe in the opinion and they also have counters that you may steal to continue the post +1 train.
E.G The Holocaust never happened! Post +1
You believe that tens of thousands of jews managed to form the same lie, keep the truth quiet and make thousands more jews just disappear to tarnish the Nazi name?
Thousands of jews? You don't know how many jews were killed, the numbers have stretched from hundreds of thousands to millions because Israel just wants American support. Post +1

By following these tips you too can go Gonzo, just don't expect any respect or badges for it.

 

[Bored Tomatoe]

I hate to break it to you, but post count doesn't...uh...matter.

 

[SimuLord]

Any idiot can make a thousand posts, but expressing a thousand meaningful thoughts? It may take longer but the respect and admiration of quite possibly dozens of other people is worth it.

 

[Aardvark]

By following these tips, one can expect to be repeatedly punched in the crotch, with concrete gloves.

 

[jim_doki]

why do you hate the gonzos?

 

[qbert4ever]

Not only is this a great way to Go Gonzo, but it's also a great way to get banned.

Two for one, baby. Two for one.

 

[Enigmers]

2. Post half your point; scoring post count +1's is for people without an opinion but when you have one remember to stretch it out. Breaking up your post into halves and quarters will garner double the results so feel free to make a post but before you post it, preview the post then use every sentence as a new post.
E.G I saw Quantam of Solace the other day but I didn't like it. Post +1
The movie seemed to be focused towards action but skipped on story. Post +1
I would like to see Bond use gadgets again. Post +1
What is a Quantum of solace anyway? Post +1

This is either bad mannered or against the rules in just about any forum.

Tell the OP to use the search button; this is a free post +1 and even if they are posting a new topic you can ready point 3.

Why does this even sound like a good idea? Are you saying that it's okay to act like anything that would ever be discussed, has already been discussed? Doesn't that undermine the whole meaning of a forum?

 

[TMAN10112]

I really wish that those ways to go gonzo didn't work, but sadly they do.

 

[[Gavo]]

Ok - you can go gonzo this way, and be one of the many who just have 1,000 posts who are probably assholes, or you can be someone who makes 1,000 posts that actually mean something.

 

[rottenbutter]

You want a high post count? Try the Forum Games and RP section, that should give it decent increase.

Oh, and by the way, post counts DO NOT matter.

Edit: Badges on the other hand, are VERY important.

 

[hypothetical fact]

2. Post half your point; scoring post count +1's is for people without an opinion but when you have one remember to stretch it out. Breaking up your post into halves and quarters will garner double the results so feel free to make a post but before you post it, preview the post then use every sentence as a new post.
E.G I saw Quantam of Solace the other day but I didn't like it. Post +1
The movie seemed to be focused towards action but skipped on story. Post +1
I would like to see Bond use gadgets again. Post +1
What is a Quantum of solace anyway? Post +1

This is either bad mannered or against the rules in just about any forum.

Tell the OP to use the search button; this is a free post +1 and even if they are posting a new topic you can ready point 3.

Why does this even sound like a good idea? Are you saying that it's okay to act like anything that would ever be discussed, has already been discussed? Doesn't that undermine the whole meaning of a forum?

Like I said at the bottom, you will be hated by everyone but you will have gone gonzo; It's up to anyone who reads this thread to decide if that is a worthy trade.

 

[perfectimo]

*SNIP*

Question: Did you do this to get +1 post count or perhaps a badge? How did you make 614 meaningful posts in less than 2 months?

EDIT: Changed 'thread' to 'post'

 

[Hey Joe]

6. Make personal threads that no one needs to hear then add "Discuss" at the bottom and employ point 4 for maximum results.
E.G My girlfriend says that we need to do more stuff together but I took her to a monster truck rally just last month! Discuss.

Oi! I may use DISCUSS at the bottom of my OP's, but I do not discuss my personal problems here! Like when my girlfriend started flirting with a waitress I used to date, who's emo. I could share that with you, but I don't.

I could tell you about the awkward manage-a-trois I had with the said waitress and her mother, I could discuss those problems, but I don't. You want to know why? I have class, that's why!

Oh, another tip for reaching Gonzo status. Go off on random tangents that gross people out whenever possible.

 

[Sackwak]

I am against this topic because you sir are a noob

+1

 

[Aries_Split]

I find it hilarious that no one see's the satire in this. You all fail.

Except for some of you.

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

]Ok - you can go gonzo this way, and be one of the many who just have 1,000 posts who are probably assholes, or you can be someone who makes 1,000 posts that actually mean something.

*Looks at post count and time spent here*...Shit.

And I disagree with what you are saying. Post count doesn't matter, and while I will say there's no point in spamming replies, just go into any threads you are interested in and your post count will go up. Meaningful posts are best, the more just conversation types are good but anyone who shows up with "I agree" everytime will be ignored, gonzo or no gonzo.
Anyways, as a gonzo I can say it's not that great, the special room doesn't even have snacks.

 

[Clairaudient]

This OP is pretty funny if you read it with a sarcastic mindset.

Otherwise it's trash, if I need to judge a person based on an arbitrary number, I'd look at their "Joined:" date. Their Grammar and sentence structure is the first and foremost thing though.

Oh also, Elvis isn't dead.

Edit:

Except for some of you.

It's there, but I don't think it's too obvious. (The sarcasm, that is)

 

[PersianLlama]

By following these tips, one can expect to be repeatedly punched in the crotch, with concrete gloves.

concrete gloves with spikes.