14 Things Video Games have taught us...

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Mackinator

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Apr 21, 2009
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Well, I was roaming the interent today (as usual) when I came across this:
14 Things Ganster Movies have taught us [http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/movies/galleries/gallery.aspx?cp-documentid=148266980]
So I thought, maybe I can share these necessary facts with the world. But, no, it hit me. Instead of copying this article (completely), I decided to make an article about what games have taught us today which is relevant more relevant to the Escapist.

List the 14 things you think Gaming has taught you about the world to date.
 

Captain Pancake

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May 20, 2009
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I read that article, actually.

I guess the chief one is that real life is never as interesting as digital life.
 

AmrasCalmacil

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Jul 19, 2008
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It's possible to survive any fall whatsoever as long as you have more than one heart.
- Zelda
Automatic fire shredding your insides is no problem if you're wearing orange overalls.
- Portal
People who aren't hostile to you are immune to Crowbar bludgeoning.
- Half-Life
While jumping off that cliff may be fatal, it's perfectly safe if you do it on a motorbike.
- Operation Flashpoint
Mixing Medicine with Alcohol is perfectly safe if you're a Pirate.
- Curse of Monkey Island
Medkits heal everything!
- Various
Forgetting that you're still alive is easy when retelling stories.
- Prince of Persia
Flowers kill dead people.
- Grim Fandango
A Controller Port switch can make the difference between life and death.
- Metal Gear Solid
Turnips are awesome.
- Baldur's Gate 2
A naked man can withstand being stabbed for hours if his opponent is far weaker than him.
- World of Warcraft
The World is secretly run by Builders.
- Team Fortress 2
Running for hours in full plate is neither tiring nor slowing.
- Various
Police are far too lenient on mass murderers.
- Grand Theft Auto
 

GrinningManiac

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Jun 11, 2009
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When a "Grenade Indicator" symbol flashes up onscreen, Don't freak and back into the nearest corner. Chances are, that's where it landed
 

ad5x5

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Jun 23, 2009
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No matter how badly you f*&k up in life, you can always just load your last save.

-A
 

DigitalSushi

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Dec 24, 2008
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games have taught us that the most valuable commodity the military will go to war for is a red flag.
 

DazZ.

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Jun 4, 2009
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Carrying a rocket launcher is just as cumbersome as carrying an empty coke can.
 

Vrex360

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Mar 2, 2009
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14. Women with massive breasts can function perfectly agilely and are protected by a mystical force that allows them to wear little to no protection and still come out fights unscathed... except for more ripped clothes.
13. Internet fan fiction based Rule 34 has no limits.
12. People are actually made of squishy goo that explodes into messy chunks if they get shot even once.
11. Spiky hair and a whiny emo attitude are required to be an adventurer, also giant swords are completely valid and in no way a burden.
10. The world is either grey-brown and heavily detailed or brightly coloured and less detailed depending on the mood of the designer
9. It'll be a long time before aliens and humans can ever completely settle their differences.
8. Genocide is perfectly acceptable as long as we can also label them 'bad guys'. Y6ou can be a goody who kills animals and innocents as long as we just say 'they are evil because they are different'.
7. People are very resistant to bullet damage.
6. Death is never the end.
5. If you add a slight sex scene into your game, you can effectivley distract the media and concerned parents about the violence in your game.
4. Any attempt to show love and passion or emotion, grief or any deep emotional development will be panned by the masses who no longer care for human emotion and want violence and tits.
3. ANY game will sell provided that you show off the 'MA 15+' rating.
2. There will never, ever, ever, ever be room for peace and the internet will forever be bashing each other over what is best by way of personal preferance.

And finally:

1. Games will always be a great blame figure to be used as a scapegoat to distract the world from it's real social issues.
 

Kilaknux

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Jun 16, 2009
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Never build a super-soldier with a gigantic weakspot, either a huge, exposed major organ, or a some glowing power source.