In continuation of my "15 Things" list, which last week was courtesy of Dead or Alive [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.264937-15-Things-I-Learned-While-Playing-Dead-or-Alive#10084368] (which many of you seemed to ignore), I now continue into 15 Things I Learned While Playing Half-Life.
1: Laboratory Haz-Mat suits are apparently stronger and more resilient than the military grade body armor of modern-day Earth militaries, or extra-terrestrial invaders. Recommendations for adoption of this new super-armor have been sent to the top brass.
2: Being mute is apparently no impediment to being a world-class physicist. Or to having attractive women want to get into your pants. (Too bad you'll probably being wearing one of those new impenetrable Haz-Mat suits)
3: Someone apparently switched the definitions of "rescue" and "massacre" for the military dictionary. Last time I checked, you're supposed to rescue the scientists from the deadly monsters inside the secret lab, not kill them.
4: Don't bother coming up with a fancy, accurate name for any technology you invent. People will never call it that, instead using terms like "Gravity Gun", which is totally inaccurate and not at all what you had intend for your tool to be called.
5: When in doubt, kicked/shoot/lift it into an energy beam.
6: Crowbars are the single most useful tool ever invented. They smash, they bash, they fix things, they break things, they heal things, they kill things. They even bake things, given the right circumstances.
7: Despite lacking any of the engineering and properties of real arrows, super-heated re-bar works just as well as arrows when shot out of a crossbow.
8: Attempting to retrieve a book from a bookshelf across the room requires several hundred rounds of spent ammunition, a small genocide, a visit from the resident mind-screw dude, traveling through several layers of hell-analogues, and culminates in a battle with a giant space-fetus.....thing. Don't even bother attempting to go to the bathroom.
9: Along the way to get the book, you will discover that while your fancy new Haz-Mat suit is damn near invincible, apparently mere radioactive waste is enough to kill you through it in a matter of seconds.
10: Female ninja military assassins have nice....assets.
11: Aliens don't want to be mean; they just want a hug. Or a nice face to......hug more. Sometimes they'd just like a cough-drop.
12: Apparently no one thought that being able to see the laser trip-wires was a design flaw in otherwise stealthy auto-turrets and claymores.
13: The cake is apparently a liar and a hypocrite, and not to be trusted. Apparently moist and delicious though. (Note: This may be more lies)
14: When given tools that allow them to manipulate time and space itself, the first (and likely only) thing people will do is use it to replace their (or other's) penis with various forms of weaponry.
15: No one ever comes back from Ravenholm. Except that one mute dude with the Haz-Mat suit and a crowbar apparently.
1: Laboratory Haz-Mat suits are apparently stronger and more resilient than the military grade body armor of modern-day Earth militaries, or extra-terrestrial invaders. Recommendations for adoption of this new super-armor have been sent to the top brass.
2: Being mute is apparently no impediment to being a world-class physicist. Or to having attractive women want to get into your pants. (Too bad you'll probably being wearing one of those new impenetrable Haz-Mat suits)
3: Someone apparently switched the definitions of "rescue" and "massacre" for the military dictionary. Last time I checked, you're supposed to rescue the scientists from the deadly monsters inside the secret lab, not kill them.
4: Don't bother coming up with a fancy, accurate name for any technology you invent. People will never call it that, instead using terms like "Gravity Gun", which is totally inaccurate and not at all what you had intend for your tool to be called.
5: When in doubt, kicked/shoot/lift it into an energy beam.
6: Crowbars are the single most useful tool ever invented. They smash, they bash, they fix things, they break things, they heal things, they kill things. They even bake things, given the right circumstances.
7: Despite lacking any of the engineering and properties of real arrows, super-heated re-bar works just as well as arrows when shot out of a crossbow.
8: Attempting to retrieve a book from a bookshelf across the room requires several hundred rounds of spent ammunition, a small genocide, a visit from the resident mind-screw dude, traveling through several layers of hell-analogues, and culminates in a battle with a giant space-fetus.....thing. Don't even bother attempting to go to the bathroom.
9: Along the way to get the book, you will discover that while your fancy new Haz-Mat suit is damn near invincible, apparently mere radioactive waste is enough to kill you through it in a matter of seconds.
10: Female ninja military assassins have nice....assets.
11: Aliens don't want to be mean; they just want a hug. Or a nice face to......hug more. Sometimes they'd just like a cough-drop.
12: Apparently no one thought that being able to see the laser trip-wires was a design flaw in otherwise stealthy auto-turrets and claymores.
13: The cake is apparently a liar and a hypocrite, and not to be trusted. Apparently moist and delicious though. (Note: This may be more lies)
14: When given tools that allow them to manipulate time and space itself, the first (and likely only) thing people will do is use it to replace their (or other's) penis with various forms of weaponry.
15: No one ever comes back from Ravenholm. Except that one mute dude with the Haz-Mat suit and a crowbar apparently.
