Last week I brought you 15 Things I Learned While Playing Record of Agarest War [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.269347-15-Things-I-Learned-While-Playing-Record-of-Agarest-War#10380658].
This week, I bring you the next list; 15 Things I Learned While Playing Resident Evil.
1: The best way to keep a story going is to just keep making the plot more and more convoluted. Don't stop until you've bottomed out the proverbial rabbit hole, and then keep digging. Eventually it'll all make sense.
2: The proper response to a large outbreak of undead is not apparently a large application of military force, but rather small, 2 or 5 or 7 man teams of specialists/police/random people off the street. Because you know, they can totally carry enough ammo to kill 500,000 or so zombies by themselves.
3: The first thing you do with any weird plants you find in ancient underground ruins is apparently start experimenting on them for genetics-altering viruses, not, you know, reporting and cataloging the things you find to major government and international agencies. Because nothing could ever go wrong.
4: Chainsaws are bad, mmmmkay?
5: Moving and shooting is apparently no longer covered in basic training. Instead, no matter what the threat is, you must stand there, assume a proper firing stance and hope to kill it before it kills you.
6: It's apparently racist to show white person in a country full of black people shooting black zombies/infected, even though this person has shown no care for race in the past, other than "zombie" or "not a zombie". Its also apparently racist to show infected, uncivilized savages being shot at by said person, even though in the context of the setting it makes sense.
7: Steroids are good, mmmkay?
8: Without exception, black sunglasses=bad guy. Awesome as hell bad guy, but still bad. Also, he will never run out of said sunglasses.
9: Calling in an orbital laser strike on a boat while you are on it will not cause it to sink. Or take damage for that matter.
10: Japan has issues with pharmaceutical companies.
11: Apparently you can build a massive underground research/weapons facility underneath a major city, and not one person will notice. Nor do you have to worry about silly things like blocking subway lines or water ways.
12: People should stop making movies out of video games.
13: When in doubt - Shotgun.
14: When really in doubt - Flamethrower.
15: No matter how long you have been kidnapped, how many sewers you crawl though, nor how many times you are nearly mauled by a zombie, your clothes will never get dirty or tarnished.
This week, I bring you the next list; 15 Things I Learned While Playing Resident Evil.
1: The best way to keep a story going is to just keep making the plot more and more convoluted. Don't stop until you've bottomed out the proverbial rabbit hole, and then keep digging. Eventually it'll all make sense.
2: The proper response to a large outbreak of undead is not apparently a large application of military force, but rather small, 2 or 5 or 7 man teams of specialists/police/random people off the street. Because you know, they can totally carry enough ammo to kill 500,000 or so zombies by themselves.
3: The first thing you do with any weird plants you find in ancient underground ruins is apparently start experimenting on them for genetics-altering viruses, not, you know, reporting and cataloging the things you find to major government and international agencies. Because nothing could ever go wrong.
4: Chainsaws are bad, mmmmkay?
5: Moving and shooting is apparently no longer covered in basic training. Instead, no matter what the threat is, you must stand there, assume a proper firing stance and hope to kill it before it kills you.
6: It's apparently racist to show white person in a country full of black people shooting black zombies/infected, even though this person has shown no care for race in the past, other than "zombie" or "not a zombie". Its also apparently racist to show infected, uncivilized savages being shot at by said person, even though in the context of the setting it makes sense.
7: Steroids are good, mmmkay?
http://i52.tinypic.com/34qwk1w.jpg[/IMG]
8: Without exception, black sunglasses=bad guy. Awesome as hell bad guy, but still bad. Also, he will never run out of said sunglasses.
9: Calling in an orbital laser strike on a boat while you are on it will not cause it to sink. Or take damage for that matter.
10: Japan has issues with pharmaceutical companies.
11: Apparently you can build a massive underground research/weapons facility underneath a major city, and not one person will notice. Nor do you have to worry about silly things like blocking subway lines or water ways.
12: People should stop making movies out of video games.
13: When in doubt - Shotgun.
14: When really in doubt - Flamethrower.
15: No matter how long you have been kidnapped, how many sewers you crawl though, nor how many times you are nearly mauled by a zombie, your clothes will never get dirty or tarnished.
